Farm Doin's - 2020

[Hopalong]

STOPPPPPPP!

LOL.

Dunno why I've lost VESMB emoticons.


Hops

[sKePTiKal]

Well there's 1/2 an inch of wet sticky white stuff all over everything this morning. And still giant snowflakes are coming down; looks to be another couple hours. (Big storm supposed to be day after tomorrow.) I WAS gonna make a quick run into my little town this morning - but it turned white too quick. So yes, caramel - and I'm thinking gingerbread marshmallows for hot chocolate too.

I DO apologize - I'm not trying to fuel temptation for anyone - but this is my way of tuning out every damn thing I think is wrong and abnormal right now. The vast collection of things I'm making is for multiple boxes I'm giving away to others next week - trying to spread peace & goodwill to select people who are probably feeling the dissonance of these times as intensely as I am. And it keeps me moving, organized and busy - instead of plunked in front of a screen and getting pulled into bad news or escaping into fiction. So will shovelling the white stuff. LOL. It's not just a "southern thing" - we did that a lot in the mennonite tradtion too. Food is the universal love language. 

But first - I must go clean up the woodstove after the last fire and make some logs smaller. Fatwood is good for easy firestarting, Hops. I also use the compressed paper briquets (but they aren't really necessary this year; my wood is dry and well seasoned this year). Do the dishes, take a quick shower... and perhaps make my run out this afternoon. But my postoffice is closed for lunch between 1 & 2; and I need to send a bunch of certified mail.

There were some very interesting, open and honest and romantic statements made last night in B's & my "private text time". Things are moving along from both our sides to make this move of his happen. I'm happy with what he feels (happy) and how he expresses that. The separation we're living with right now doesn't seem to be a hindrance to feelings - yes, physical proximity would be LOVELY - but it's only going to postpone his final transfer here. We have so more than physicality to base this partnership on that the distance isn't that hard to bear.

We're both kinda surprised about that, actually. I realized this morning, that this relationship is very very very different from anything I've experienced in the past - and the reason I'm not seeing any of the things I fear (from past experience) is because of that huge difference. It doesn't seem fair to keep feeling afraid of stuff that doesn't exist with him & I. Especially when I can just be happy instead. Yeah, challenges and obstacles - life - is still gonna happen. But we work really well together and will just deal with it. I'm not over-extending myself; doing too much. And he's holding down his end - without interfering with mine - too. And still we just want to be together.

I am completely flummoxed trying to find a description or definition of what kind of relationship this is. It's got about everything in it. So I'm just letting it be what it is and not trying to "file" it in any category. (That would be a limitation, methinks.)

[Hopalong]

Just TEASING you about the treats production, hon...
I was laughing and delighted by it. I'm happy for you
that you have such a lovely outlet and also for the folks
who are lucky enough to receive that joyful baked bounty!

Also soooooo happy to read your description of what's happening
with you a Buck. Damn, girl. You have hit the love jackpot, sounds like.

Gotta go tidy up so the cleaning person can do her healing magic
this afternoon.

Hugs
Hops

[sKePTiKal]

Today is "intermission" between white sticky stuff falling from the skies. Couple little errands to run on my side of the mountain today; couple things to order too... and I need to check in with my shop.

Baking continues; Holly requested I make the gingerbread marshmallows yesterday - and they are currently setting up to get cut & dusted with powdered sugar today. Planning for hot chocolate & homemade marshmallows tomorrow. At some point today, I need to get the snow plow on the ranger, too. Or we'll be trying to do it - when it's warmer tomorrow - while snow falls at a rate of 2" per hour (according to some forecasts). Neighbors goodies delivered over the weekend.

My big Bunn coffeemaker died again; the hotplate doesn't like being cleaned. But the morning has been saved by my Secret Squirrel gift - a french press. I have an old Melitta (and filters) too - that I've managed not to break in 3-4 moves through 2 husbands.

Hol's going to be "over the mtn" all day today, dropping one of her kittens off to be neutered - Peter is the biggest tom out of Stinker's litter - and he's quite the terrorist. So she's visiting a friend, shopping, and generally hanging out all day till she can pick Peter up and head back. I've heard nothing so far from surgeon vet. And given how happy and mobile Stinker is right now - I doubt I'm going to put him through that close confinement for a month. It involves more painkillers too - and while he's good at taking the liquid meds, painkillers mess with brains. I don't want to take that chance with him. His personality is just quirky enough right now.

Got enough kindling split to get me through till it stops snowing. And now for the daily woodstove cleaning chore. LOL. Unless last night's fire burned hot enough, I always have to clean the glass and scoop the ashes out.

Buck went looking for a power steering pump for his truck yesterday at a junkyard (auto parts store ordered the wrong one). Ended up getting hired part time (2 days a week + commission) until he moves. Coz he "knows stuff" like how to remove windshields without breaking them, and other tricks of the trade. And he's been gettiing boxes delivered with some little luxuries... since he can't be here. He's been having trouble finding one brand of socks he likes... so I'm going to use those as padding around his cookies when I ship them. MAYBE get out by Saturday; MAYBE. Propane tanks got filled yesterday. Reminded me to have Hol check hers; she should be OK. Solar panels weren't getting much sun lately - and Rick came and pushed down some bigger trees that were shading the panels. I think she's going to hear her generator a lot the next few days.

I need to order snowshoes; I think we might get as much as 2 ft of snow out of this storm. Definitely over a foot. Everything the other side of the mountain will shut down (if they aren't already from the virus); already planning for it - a couple inches of snow is enough for them. I imagine my side of the mountain will shut down by noon.

I might have a sewing commission; another parka like the one I made for B. But the guy currently has his hands full, taking care of his business'es crew; several of which have tested positive or are sick from virus. I'll contact him later when he's not so busy. So far - all my presents that were shipped have arrived except one item for B that's backordered.

Almost time for me to order seed starting stuff. The wheel keeps turning around here... and I need to think about a canning kitchen, too. A lot more jars & lids; and a few odds/ends. I was going to try to move my garden implements out of the space where the metal shop's going... but now the barn is full of Buck's stuff and the jeep; and the plan to move the mower to the other garage isn't going to work, coz Hol wants to put the pontiac in there before it snows. If it fits - LOL.

I WILL get my rip van winkle time, seriously, I WILL. It'll start in a week or so, I hope. 

[sKePTiKal]

Some places on the deck, I have closer to a foot of snow. As an "essential" part of the shovel brigade, the upper deck gets cleaned off first - so it doesn't melt & refreeze at the ground level. We don't have to go anywhere; there is very little traffic sound from the direction of the highway; so I doubt the mailbox is overflowing. I hear roads over the mtn are still iffy too.

The steps o' death & broken bones can melt on their own and wait. Some snow is easy to clear; some isn't. I won't know till I start which kind this is.

But first, I have to call into the shop.

[lighter]

We had rain....no snow.  Roads were fine.

Is your woodpile full?  Have you lit any fires yet, Amber?

It warms my heart to picture you baking and tending a cozy fire: )

Careful with'yer bad self on that ice.

Lighter

[sKePTiKal]

Tending my downstairs fire, requires specifically timed trips up & down... it's a small firebox... and the recipes I'm working with require constant stirring until an exact temp is reached. So the 2 aren't compatible - except at certain stages of the process.

Hol came to help me shovel the deck so it didn't make ice below. She & Helga made tracks in the drive to the road; that was plowed. I took the ranger to the mailbox yesterday; pushed a little snow, but in 4x that little vehicle is an absolute BEAST of traction. Since it sips gas compared to all the other wheeled creatures here, it's worth it's weight in gold. We converged on the studio later to chew the fat & get a break from both our 4 walls. Had more snow that evening too. Feast of Saturnalia. 

I missed a couple shop emails and immediately had that -- oh, now I feel like a total schmuck, worthless human creature reaction. But since it was late at night, I decided to just call in the call in the morning. Approval/decisions from me required - since my bro is once again awol and not in the loop about what's going on. I don't mind if he does that - but then, he is forfeiting his justification for being angry about not being consulted when decisions have to happen on the fly. I am not his secretary, required to brief him on situations he doesn't think are important enough to stay in contact with the shop or me about.

I CAN and DO have a much better work-life balance than I did years ago. But I am still on call 24/7 as the buck stops with me, in this position. I don't have to feel bad about having a life - and not ALWAYS on top of things. I am allowed to forget for a couple days that we have big things in progress.

And I've just kinda shut down the kitchen for a couple days - few more things to make for us but I am almost ready to pack & ship the long-distance boxes and deliver the local ones. It's warming up and the snow is evaporating - but the nights are cold enough to put ice on the ponds.

Buck has had a rough week; his kitten had a swollen leg and when he took her to the vet, he eventually diagnosed pneumonia and while they were starting medication, poor little thing started hemoraghaging and didn't make it. That night one of his older stray take-ins passed too. And I'm beyond frustrated that his Christmas present is backordered. I'm trying to get an ETA from this week.

[sKePTiKal]

Kitchen Wench is back at it again... LOL as many boxes as I'm packing I may not have enough!

[Hopalong]

I'm sorry about Buck's kitties, nothing sadder when the animal innocents suffer and go.

Happy for Kitchen Wench and happier for the recipients!

Hear you about the business squeeze, and some guilt there. I vote you're doing the best you can and mostly on your own. If you reassure them, I hope they'll take comfort all will be well or if not perfect, at least with a sound plan, in 2021.

Meanwhile you still get to enjoy this time. I've been green about the stillness of snow on a mountainside...it must be very extra beautiful right now.

Soak it in. The peace. Long may it last.

hugs
Hops

[sKePTiKal]

Oh yes... soaking it in. This whole week there is no agenda; no plan. Well, except the kids are clearing snow at the hut so contractors can drop off garage trusses (other framing material is here) and the solstice/conjunction fire tomorrow.

And I'm finishing up packing goody boxes; couple to take to post office tomorrow -- they won't get there by Christmas, but people still gotta eat after. A couple things for the kids to wrap... their big present (besides a house & garage) is going to be a greenhouse... which hasn't been ordered yet. Hol needs to consult her buddy about heating/cooling options so it can be a year-round growing space.

Buck is back to his nightowl ways; last txt was after 3 am. Just woke up. Me, I'm sleeping long... moving at a comfortable pace... thinking about seeds, growing space/equipment for me, orchard trees, etc...and maybe buying myself a couple presents.    I don't seem to be craving as much rip van winkle time -- but it just seems to be what happens when it doesn't get light until 8 am and gets dark by 5.

Not reading anything serious. Tuning out all the noise online. Playing around with a new circle of acquaintances with woo-stuff... but not seriously. Almost ready to break out the planning book... get the contractor on notice about metal shed... see what Buck needs that I can help with... to get him here. All told, things turned out OK at the business. We're still in the black; barely. Everyone is getting a full paycheck and has good health insurance paid for by co. They got Christmas bonuses; less than previously... but these days, that's doing pretty damn good. 

I'll scry the crystal ball and future predictions later; AFTER the solstice/conjunction - because the massive change has to start before I will be able to have any inkling of which way it's going to go. Right now, too many big question marks out there and unknowns and stuff intentionally hidden... unless you know what you're looking for and where to look.
One thing I can say with certainty: this is the year we kick it up a notch developing the farm... working on ideas for income and get a better plan organized.

[Twoapenny]

I'm glad things have settled a bit, Skep, and are looking a bit less daunting business wise.  And that the baking is on track!  Nothing nicer than a box of home made something from someone, in my opinion.  I hope the Solstice provides some space and a clear start.  I've been cleaning all day so that we can have a quiet, reflective day tomorrow - hopefully a walk on the beach if it stops raining but if not, we've got quiet space at home to reflect on this year and start working on plans for next.  I have to say I'm amazed to read you'll be kicking it up a notch at the farm - you always seem to be going at top notch already!  Look forward to reading more about whatever plans your endless energy brings xx

[sKePTiKal]

Well, there is 3 of us here Tupp; all able-bodied and know the meaning of work - soon to be 4 - if the rumblings, rumor and breadcrumbs of info I get from Buck mean he's getting close to being here. I know he's working on getting his D's other parent to chip in for tuition. When I look back - it's amazing how much has changed here; and after the metal shop, the only other building project we couldn't do ourselves would be the studio remodel and possibly a livestock barn - depending on whether or not, any of us feel like taking on that responsibility. Milk cows are labor intensive, but then there can be butter & cheese. (I'm not overly fond of goats/goat cheese.)

Mike's D, sent Hol & I pictures of her new engagement ring last night. She and her guy have been together 4 years. With her two kids, and their crazy schedules - she's now moved up to mgmt between the health system's trauma centers and he's still a med chopper pilot - we've still not met him. We call him her "imaginary boyfriend". LOLOL. But that's a bit of happy news and I'm pretty sure it's the right thing at the right time for her. She just finished her master's in nursing, too.

Weather is going to be a challenge around here; expecting very cold temps this coming weekend. So more snow removal (to prevent ice) is on the agenda - and slowing down a little bit. Shipping out goodies today and making one more grocery run. Steve will slaughter a couple of his drakes and smoke/roast them and Hol is in search of farro for pomegranite, blue cheese & walnut salad. I'm going to bake bread, warm up my spiral ham, and grab some good cheese for sandwiches. Mac & cheese, or something like to go with. Expecting some venison tenderloin, too - Rick took a buck over T'giving season... so I need a box of goodies for him too.

Mr. Stinkerbell is in NO way challenged getting around on this gimpy leg!! He and Freddy have regular intervals of kitty tussling, chasing, and napping. Stinker is still getting places (and trying to) he shouldn't even attempt. And I WISH he'd stop tickling my face with his whiskers at 3 am... sigh... yes, he's a super-cuddler and how can you be mad at that? But jeez.... let mama sleep, already!!

There is supposedly a bonfire and solstice/conjunction festivities scheduled for tonight. I might need a nap. Late night w/Buck last night. This is still - in some ways - a challenging transition for him. Me too... he brought up not feeling the "Christmas spirit" for the last 4 years. A lot of those, he was in or just getting out of the hospital. I remembered back to that first one, after Mike died at T'giving... only thing I remember from that one in 2015, is Bovie smoking ducks and Disturbed released their version of Sounds of Silence. LOLOL. Then the year I moved, I didn't do much. Deb & Hol came for visits but I think I was alone that year. Now I work hard at getting a quiet evening when I want one!! LOL.

Hol has become the virus commissar, so a lot of her soirees/camping adventures have been curtailed. We have chosen not to entertain her more challenging (interpersonally) friends & acquaintances; and her close friends are all going through some major life stuff. We're as much in lockdown as is practical. Just not taking chances right now. So, it's also freeing up emotional and headspace to think about how much stuff we really can let go -- and what other things might need some investigation. Like reworking the studio space for more production... looking at the snow-revealed landscape to see where some modifications for planting might happen... re-arranging rocks, etc. Since I bought the backhoe, that stuff is a lot more possible. And it appears Steve has the knack of using heavy machinery. He brought the bobcat up the driveway yesterday and went to the top of the hill with it - scaring me that he'd roll it - but he is very good with it. I am happy he's found another niche, to be useful around here. They're expecting a big truckload of trusses for the garage tomorrow. Yes, those guys will work in the cold - just not snow/rain.

My big Bunn coffeepot died again; so it's time to order a new one - since I gave Hol the last new one I got when the pot died the first time. And like it or not - I MUST get up and get stuff packed up, addressed and sealed up to ship today so it's at least there by new years. LOL. I have to pick Hol up too.

One foot in front of the other = ONWARDS!! Forward motion.

[sKePTiKal]

Well, I got the few presents I got for the kids wrapped today. Only real kitchen work is making my favorite bread - recipe makes 2 loaves - and I'll deliver a loaf and presents later. Hol & S have a friend coming out for a couple days. S harvested one of the drakes and Hol will make dinner tomorrow. I'll cook a spiral ham and some kind of sides tomorrow for sandwiches and take that and some sweets down. Hang out awhile.

We're still waiting on presents to be delivered. Obviously a rough year for that kind of thing. I woke up feeling as bereft as I did after Mike died. Coz Buck isn't here... and then I insisted on "doing something" until the mood lifted. Its been pouring rain all day and never really got light. No way I'm giving in to that kind of gloom. But I can't fake it either. I just WILL be OK on my own and live my life until he can be here.

Watching Fellowship of the Ring. Waiting on bread to rise.
This year's holiday will be what it will be. We're warm, dry, have good food.

[Hopalong]

Good (no, great) attitude, (((((Amber)))).

I understand the melancholy.
That human calendar has its hooks in us.

But you're doing really super well, it sounds.

Hang in there. This time next year I hazard you
and Buck will be feeling all the good holiday feels
together.

Meanwhile, big hugs,
Hops

[Twoapenny]

I'm glad you've got that 'go away, gloomy feelings' ability.  It's can be so hard to give ourselves that kick up the backside to get out of bed when you waking up feeling that way.  I hope the day feels easier - pressies, kitties, freshly made bread and some good films to boot.  Merry Christmas from over the pond xx