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The New Yorker article: "How Far Can Abused Women Go To Protect Themselves"

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lighter:
Will note here....
Easier not to dwell, on poisonous soil, if one isn't planted directly in it, IME.

IME, it's not rumination poisoning the soil.  It's poisoned soil creating rumination.

Easier to say avoid looking at the soil, accepting it's poisoned with vulnerable many forced into it, forced to remain and "make nice", or else.....
so many or else's.

Or else things might get worse, the justice system might revictimize you, society might have to accept the truth and do something about it.

Lighter

Hopalong:
Permaculture.
All we can really do is nourish the soil we have access to in the present, and hopefully (optimistically) let the rest blow away with the next good wind.

May your garden of peace grow and grow, Lighter.

hugs,
Hops

lighter:
I'm often shocked at how casually accepting people are of naked female torsos found, hidden, abandoned, left in wooded areas, etc.....like trash.

Then, when someone, who might have been a dead body/likely would have been a dead body, defends herself against her known attacker/abuser/interpersonal terrorist THAT'S big news.  That's reason for deep reflection, an investigation into a "crime."

And as many women would put these survivors in prison, as would men, IME.

People truly are, IME, more comfortable with women's dead bodies than those who defended their lives and survived, when their attacker did not.

IME, had the attacker lived, it would have been ok.  So it's never about the attack, or threat, or threat against life..... it's that the defender didn't do a better job surviving.  They did it wrong.  They're at fault, yup yup yup.  And....imhe, maybe the defender should have just done as she was bid, and died.  Certainly, it was clear the Prosecutor's opinion pointed to that as preferable, IME. 



It's never been different in my lifetime.  I noticed it, really felt it in my bones, when I was in my mid twenties.  Noticed my father didn't bat an eye at a news story about, you guessed it, another naked female torso found on the side of the road.  His response was to bark the question....
"Are you a lesbian?"

So little care.  So little thought.  So alien to consider a dead woman's plight, he drew a connection to another alien concept involving "women."It was an attack, btw, to throw that accusation.  Why else, would one care about dead women?  Right?  Unnatural. Wrong headed.  Right?

Dad was raised to be a mysoginist by both his parents, and uncles on his mother's side.

His father cheated .....
"Well, your Grandma was very sick .". An excuse.....no judgement or expletives, but discuss a woman cheating......there was never an excuse, only name calling and spiteful judgement.

My father cheated with his best friend's wife....heck, the poor guy lived with us during his divorce.  I'm sure the wife snuck in Dad's bedroom door WHILE his friend slept in the basement.  I feel shame, just thinking about that, but Dad still had the nerve to beat his fist on the kitchen table and rail against women, lack of integrity and whatever he was wailing about at the time. 

So dramatic.
So all about him.
So emotional.....and God forbid it makes you cry, bc then came disdainful recriminations..... "Women use tears for blah blah blah. ".

Yaaaaa, we're the emotional ones.

I never saw it his way, not really.  In fact, Dad's insistence women "lacked that extra nerve" men had.....enabling terrible treatment of men, was followed up by his insistence "integrity is everything."

Such hypocrisy left marks and scars and unconscious belief systems......internalized misogyny, among them, but there's always been clarity around a person's right to survive an attempt on their life.  Man, woman and child. A bully shouldn't have the right to murder his family, imo. 

That's just not how this society sees it ...feels it in their bones, IME.

It's so stark, now.......how little care there is for women and children.  Part of society IS missing a nerve, IME. 

The prosecutors only care about convictions..... they'd convict an innocent man, woman or child, but.......IME, there's more incentive to convict women, based on cultural bias.

Lighter

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