Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Coronavirus
Twoapenny:
Thank you, Lighter and Hops :) I am so grateful to have your input. I feel much better today - slept better and woke up this morning determined not to let other people rain on my parade. This has the potential to be a good time for me and son - lots of time to rest, work on home activities, shred paperwork, do yoga and so on - that this could be a really good thing for us. I'm not going to let other people, who can't just sit home and read a book, spoil that for us. So no more thinking about my mum, or anyone else for that matter. I'm only answering the phone now to people who I know will be calling to say, hey, Tupp! I read a book I think you might like, or I saw that such and such a film is on tonight and I know you like that sort of thing. Practical people who deal with the situation and who, if they aren't coping, recognise that and try to do something about it themselves, not people who offload their shit on to me. Humph! Lol.
I think a lot of people are less aware of the risk, because they're not at such serious risk. People who haven't had (or currently got) significant health problems or close relatives with them, or who don't fit the age demographic of 'you're not worth a ventilator so we won't give you one' just don't feel as exposed, I think, as other people who know that if they get this that (a) it will, at the very least knock them for six, (b) is more likely to be very serious, if not fatal for them and (c) won't make the grade if there isn't enough equipment to go around (or, as Hops has pointed out, don't want to be rigged up to a machine and would rather sort things out themselves). So I think that's part of the problem.
I do think as well, and I'm sorry because I'm on my socialist soap box again, that Western arrogance and privilege play a part with some people. There are so many people in the UK (and I'm sure in the States as well) who have genuinely never gone without. They've never not been able to buy whatever they fancy in the supermarket or been unable to go out (or order in) whatever and whenever they want. There's no need in the UK to look after your health in order to get medical care on the NHS. There are some instances where they won't perform surgery until people lose weight or stop smoking because of the increased risks but generally speaking people here can ignore medical advice as much as they want and they'll still get treatment regardless. So there are few people who actually know what it's like when a doctor can't magically make you better. They've never been without a nice home, money for luxuries, unlimited travel options and so on and so forth, and it's not a lifestyle just reserved for the very wealthy. People on moderate incomes here can live like that. And of course, many people do appreciate all they've got and are aware of how lucky they are, but a surprising number I think do feel that they will always be able to carry on like that. They don't seem to take the risk seriously because they've just not been in a situation before where there isn't 'someone' who will sort everything out for them - the food magically appears in the shops, the water keeps flushing the toilets, you can buy as much unnecessary crap as you like and there's no penalty. So I do think it leads to a kind of notion that they'll be alright no matter what.
Hops, I feel anxious when groceries arrive, and when taking in any other package or doing anything like putting the bins out. I think it's natural. It's a bit like having to deal with spiders :) Lighter, I wouldn't go visiting them if you don't feel comfortable. If they're not taking precautions with you then they won't be anywhere else either. There's no hope of stopping this completely until they stop letting people travel between different countries. They're still letting people off planes unchecked here. They just disembark and head straight out. No checks, no testing. All to protect corporate interests. It's madness.
Anyway, that's my little musing for the day :) Thank you for letting me waffle on :) lol xx
sKePTiKal:
LOL... still all well here, except all of us are dealing with allergies to tree pollen right now. Hol is working on quilts, minding the contractors on the Hut, cooking... and trying to organize all of us into contributing to good meals. John is working on his van... being there for Hol to talk through all her feelings at odd hours of the night when she wakes up. Steve is starting a whole new batch of medicinal mushrooms - cordyceps, reishi, etc. and walking the property looking for wild ones... and other native medicinal herbs. (I'm better at that than he is.) He's the most worried about not having any more income this year - since his work is usually at big events in DC.
Making do... and creative solutions... are what I'm good for around here. My obsessive cleaning is also useful. As well as coming up with projects for people to do.
As the stay at home orders are extended, we're still OK. Enforcement still isn't too draconian around here. Contractors still working; hardware, pharmacy; gas stations & grocery still stocked and busy. The shop is still working - orders aren't nearly as awful as they looked one day a week ago - and my oldest employee is the bookkeeper; she's been working nights to minimize her contact with everyone else. (She's over 80.)
I kinda feel like we're all suspended in time; limbo. Hol keeps asking me to bring out a friend of hers that makes her laugh a lot - altho the relational price he exacts for that is a tad too high, in my balance sheet. My brain wants to analyze and nail down all the things that are going to remain different now.... and will change further in the future. Emotionally, I'm on a roller-coaster... while trying to hang on to the middle of the road and stay cool, calm & collected. Or at least appear that way... as an anchor for everyone else. But even I am losing it sometimes.
Emotionally I believe I'd feel better if Buck were here... but that's a whole new set of personality challenges with everyone else here I've not got the energy for right now. And my solitude? pfffft... I have my bedroom suite and that's it for now unless I get in my car and drive off. I'm not even going out once a week, consistently, right now - because my allergies are so bad I get funny looks for sneezing and coughing and sniffing... ye olde runny nose.
Well. Today I'm going to check about getting my plow picked up end of the week. And perhaps meet with a lawyer re: combining the deeds for my property... and retitling in the trust. Lawyers are essential in my state - but that doesn't mean they're keeping regular hours.
This too shall pass - I'm trying to put the time to good use and not get wrapped too tight over what isn't showing up clearly in my crystal ball about the future.
lighter:
Putting this link here regarding fear around receiving groceries, being around other people, virus, food shortages, overwhelmed medical systems,etc.
I plan to put it on Mindfulness and Relationship threads also.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Vmwsg8Eabo
Hopalong:
Enjoyed the video, Lighter!
Realized I AM his female friend (and that's why I'm so wary of M's disasterizing and late-night anxiety/tragedy stuffed calls, and get fed up with his dramatic anxious messaging at times). Pure and simple, it's contagious to me. It truly is. He releases it and because of my susceptibility to that contagion, I'm up all night.
The other association I got (I thought it would end with "fear itself" but it didn't) was between shortness of breath and what he described.
One reason the virus is so scary to me is how it can end up, lungs not working, ventilation, etc. I associate SOB (shortness of breath) with panic and vice versa, and when I feel it building I am a mess.
I also see why I have never, once, ever been able to enjoy a horror film, unlike other folks with less easily triggered anxiety reactions. In my case the music always scares me more than the vocals. I learned early to plug my ears first, then it wouldn't be that distressing.
Very interesting stuff, and the contagion part is so very relevant today.
hugs
Hops
lighter:
I tried to start the CRV today. There was a grinding noise and it didn't want to start. I persisted, and eventually it turned over. I drove to the grocery stores and sat watching in the parking lots.... just to see how things really are.
The guys pushing shopping carts back into the store weren't wearing gloves. ONE shopper guy at Publix wore gloves and a mask. Maybe 10 other shoppers I saw did not.
I drove to another grocery store and there were more cars in the lot, more people and just as few masks and gloves. Watching people touch EVERYTHING made me feel sick, like throwing up, so I left.
The car started right up, so I hope whatever went wrong was caused by not starting it for 3 weeks.
Ladies, start your cars every once in a while and drive them. You don't want problems you can avoid to creep up on you.
Lighter
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