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Coronavirus
Hopalong:
From a Washington Post Q & A--weird to see how normalized/mainstream the term "narcissist" has become! It's probably a good development. I hope.
Hugs,
Hops
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“I live in an area with a large Republican majority. State law requires masks inside and outside. Today, I unfortunately was in a checkout line behind an unmasked 30-something female, very busy chatting up the cashier. I said nothing, because we were inside and the problem of aerosols would just have been aggravated. What is your advice for a courteous way to mention to people that their habits put my health at risk while still minimizing the risk of confrontation?” — Anne in Pennsylvania
This is becoming an unhappily frequent conundrum. On the one hand, we have scientific evidence that it's especially dangerous to be near people who fail to wear masks. On the other hand, confronting such people risks increasing the chance of contagion, or even violence.
Nor do these bare-faced renegades appear to be going away. A small group of anti-maskers actually marched through a Target store in Florida this month, loudly inviting customers to join them.
Let's first dispense with two obvious options for Anne: She could have simply left the store, though applying this advice globally would effectively surrender all public spaces to anti-maskers. Or she could have reported the offending customer to a store manager, though doing so would have simply forced an employee to take on the risk of confrontation and contagion. We've reported that retail workers already have it hard enough during the pandemic.
Luckily, experts do have advice for how to encourage a stranger to mask up without provoking them into even more dangerous behavior, which wellness reporter Allyson Chiu shared in an article today.
[https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/wellness/narcissism-mask-covid-psychology/2020/09/25/d3de1b32-fe9c-11ea-9ceb-061d646d9c67_story.html?utm_campaign=wp_to_your_health&utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter&wpisrc=nl_tyh&wpmk=1&pwapi_token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJjb29raWVuYW1lIjoid3BfY3J0aWQiLCJpc3MiOiJDYXJ0YSIsImNvb2tpZXZhbHVlIjoiNTk2YWZkY2ZhZGU0ZTI0MTE5YWJhNmRkIiwidGFnIjoiNWY3MjQ5NzE5ZDJmZGEwZWZiMzdiY2EzIiwidXJsIjoiaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cud2FzaGluZ3RvbnBvc3QuY29tL2xpZmVzdHlsZS93ZWxsbmVzcy9uYXJjaXNzaXNtLW1hc2stY292aWQtcHN5Y2hvbG9neS8yMDIwLzA5LzI1L2QzZGUxYjMyLWZlOWMtMTFlYS05Y2ViLTA2MWQ2NDZkOWM2N19zdG9yeS5odG1sP3V0bV9jYW1wYWlnbj13cF90b195b3VyX2hlYWx0aCZ1dG1fbWVkaXVtPWVtYWlsJnV0bV9zb3VyY2U9bmV3c2xldHRlciZ3cGlzcmM9bmxfdHloJndwbWs9MSJ9.7eufM0H-kzLymXHM_pkyX_t6eHuSXdO_uJVUywEJW3Y]
The first thing to keep in mind is that it's possible the maskless person is a narcissist — someone who lacks empathy and believes themselves exempt from rules. That may sound like a snap judgment, but Chiu reports that peer-reviewed studies in the United States, Brazil and Poland all suggest that people prone to narcissism are less likely to follow social distancing guidelines or wear masks.
This does not mean everyone without a mask in the grocery store has a personality disorder, but it may be safest for you to assume they do, because another common trait of narcissists is being prone to anger. A simple eye roll directed at a maskless narcissist “will be enough to spin them into a rage,” a clinical psychologist at California State University at Los Angeles told Chiu.
So you should avoid even semi-confrontational comments such as “You're supposed to wear a mask in here,” behavioral experts told Chiu. One suggested speaking to the person like a “hostage negotiator:” kindly, softly and appealing to their own self-interest as much as yours.
A Harvard Medical School psychologist suggests trying the line: “You can make the difference between life and death because we’re all in this together.” Using the word “we” emphasizes interconnection and might appeal to a narcissist's sense of grandiosity. A small bribe might work, too: some experts recommend carrying an extra factory-sealed mask with you and offering it to the person you're trying to convince.
At all costs, avoid letting the conversation become an argument. If it's clear that the person isn't listening to you or is stirring to anger, you should disengage. Simply stop responding to them, and walk away if you have to. You tried your best to make the situation safer for everyone around you. You can at least make it safer for yourself by leaving.
Twoapenny:
Gosh I think assuming someone has a personality disorder because they don't have a mask on is a bit much! Are there not exemptions for people with certain health conditions? There are certain situations here where wearing a mask isn't mandatory - people can get a card or something on their phone via the GP so that they don't have to put one on. Do you not have something similar over there?
Personally I'm not a fan of the 'calling out on masks' thing, or on grassing up your neighbours (which is being encouraged here at the minute). The whole thing's been too badly managed to start insisting things are important now; we've tens of thousands of dead people, many of whom were just left to die in care homes without any kind of medical help. It's impossible, in my eyes, to insist that something is a necessary practice 'for the sake of public safety' when they've blatantly allowed so many to die, not just now but through homelessness and lack of various other resources over the years. I was talking about it with a friend last night; it's a nightmare situation for pretty much everyone, but often for different reasons. For some the threat of the virus is the greatest worry, for others it's their job or income, for some the effect on other health problems is the issue. I think the best we can all do now is keep ourselves as safe as possible and avoid others who aren't taking precautions. Over here it would be down to the shop security to deal with that situation, is it not the same over there? xx
Hopalong:
A few people can't wear masks for health reasons and have cards to carry.
The masses who rebel against masks for political or antisocial reasons are just prolonging the pandemic and ensuring that many more people will die. To be that indifferent to others' lives does seem to me pretty narcissistic. And callous.
Hops
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: Hopalong on September 29, 2020, 03:48:29 AM ---A few people can't wear masks for health reasons and have cards to carry.
The masses who rebel against masks for political or antisocial reasons are just prolonging the pandemic and ensuring that many more people will die. To be that indifferent to others' lives does seem to me pretty narcissistic. And callous.
Hops
--- End quote ---
I get that Hopsie but the person who wrote in to the paper didn't mention whether it had been established if the person had a medical reason not to wear one? Perhaps I've misread it or missed a bit but I know here that disabled people are being harassed for not wearing masks as people are assuming they're refusing rather than unable. It's making an already stressful situation even more stressful for some people. Perhaps it was discussed somewhere else; I think I'd have just felt more comfortable if the possibility of a medical exemption was raised before an assumption of a personality disorder was suggested?
lighter:
Has anyone heard of water purification chemicals used to help with blood clotting during Covid illness?
Specifically sodium chloride and NaCio
2?
Lighter
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