Coronavirus

[Hopalong]

From a Washington Post Q & A--weird to see how normalized/mainstream the term "narcissist" has become! It's probably a good development. I hope.
Hugs,
Hops
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“I live in an area with a large Republican majority. State law requires masks inside and outside. Today, I unfortunately was in a checkout line behind an unmasked 30-something female, very busy chatting up the cashier. I said nothing, because we were inside and the problem of aerosols would just have been aggravated. What is your advice for a courteous way to mention to people that their habits put my health at risk while still minimizing the risk of confrontation?” — Anne in Pennsylvania

This is becoming an unhappily frequent conundrum. On the one hand, we have scientific evidence that it's especially dangerous to be near people who fail to wear masks. On the other hand, confronting such people risks increasing the chance of contagion, or even violence.

Nor do these bare-faced renegades appear to be going away. A small group of anti-maskers actually marched through a Target store in Florida this month, loudly inviting customers to join them.

Let's first dispense with two obvious options for Anne: She could have simply left the store, though applying this advice globally would effectively surrender all public spaces to anti-maskers. Or she could have reported the offending customer to a store manager, though doing so would have simply forced an employee to take on the risk of confrontation and contagion. We've reported that retail workers already have it hard enough during the pandemic.

Luckily, experts do have advice for how to encourage a stranger to mask up without provoking them into even more dangerous behavior, which wellness reporter Allyson Chiu shared in an article today.

[https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/wellness/narcissism-mask-covid-psychology/2020/09/25/d3de1b32-fe9c-11ea-9ceb-061d646d9c67_story.html?utm_campaign=wp_to_your_health&utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter&wpisrc=nl_tyh&wpmk=1&pwapi_token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJjb29raWVuYW1lIjoid3BfY3J0aWQiLCJpc3MiOiJDYXJ0YSIsImNvb2tpZXZhbHVlIjoiNTk2YWZkY2ZhZGU0ZTI0MTE5YWJhNmRkIiwidGFnIjoiNWY3MjQ5NzE5ZDJmZGEwZWZiMzdiY2EzIiwidXJsIjoiaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cud2FzaGluZ3RvbnBvc3QuY29tL2xpZmVzdHlsZS93ZWxsbmVzcy9uYXJjaXNzaXNtLW1hc2stY292aWQtcHN5Y2hvbG9neS8yMDIwLzA5LzI1L2QzZGUxYjMyLWZlOWMtMTFlYS05Y2ViLTA2MWQ2NDZkOWM2N19zdG9yeS5odG1sP3V0bV9jYW1wYWlnbj13cF90b195b3VyX2hlYWx0aCZ1dG1fbWVkaXVtPWVtYWlsJnV0bV9zb3VyY2U9bmV3c2xldHRlciZ3cGlzcmM9bmxfdHloJndwbWs9MSJ9.7eufM0H-kzLymXHM_pkyX_t6eHuSXdO_uJVUywEJW3Y]

The first thing to keep in mind is that it's possible the maskless person is a narcissist — someone who lacks empathy and believes themselves exempt from rules. That may sound like a snap judgment, but Chiu reports that peer-reviewed studies in the United States, Brazil and Poland all suggest that people prone to narcissism are less likely to follow social distancing guidelines or wear masks.

This does not mean everyone without a mask in the grocery store has a personality disorder, but it may be safest for you to assume they do, because another common trait of narcissists is being prone to anger. A simple eye roll directed at a maskless narcissist “will be enough to spin them into a rage,” a clinical psychologist at California State University at Los Angeles told Chiu.

So you should avoid even semi-confrontational comments such as “You're supposed to wear a mask in here,” behavioral experts told Chiu. One suggested speaking to the person like a “hostage negotiator:” kindly, softly and appealing to their own self-interest as much as yours.

A Harvard Medical School psychologist suggests trying the line: “You can make the difference between life and death because we’re all in this together.” Using the word “we” emphasizes interconnection and might appeal to a narcissist's sense of grandiosity. A small bribe might work, too: some experts recommend carrying an extra factory-sealed mask with you and offering it to the person you're trying to convince.

At all costs, avoid letting the conversation become an argument. If it's clear that the person isn't listening to you or is stirring to anger, you should disengage. Simply stop responding to them, and walk away if you have to. You tried your best to make the situation safer for everyone around you. You can at least make it safer for yourself by leaving.

[Twoapenny]

Gosh I think assuming someone has a personality disorder because they don't have a mask on is a bit much!  Are there not exemptions for people with certain health conditions?  There are certain situations here where wearing a mask isn't mandatory - people can get a card or something on their phone via the GP so that they don't have to put one on.  Do you not have something similar over there?

Personally I'm not a fan of the 'calling out on masks' thing, or on grassing up your neighbours (which is being encouraged here at the minute).  The whole thing's been too badly managed to start insisting things are important now; we've tens of thousands of dead people, many of whom were just left to die in care homes without any kind of medical help.  It's impossible, in my eyes, to insist that something is a necessary practice 'for the sake of public safety' when they've blatantly allowed so many to die, not just now but through homelessness and lack of various other resources over the years.  I was talking about it with a friend last night; it's a nightmare situation for pretty much everyone, but often for different reasons.  For some the threat of the virus is the greatest worry, for others it's their job or income, for some the effect on other health problems is the issue.  I think the best we can all do now is keep ourselves as safe as possible and avoid others who aren't taking precautions.  Over here it would be down to the shop security to deal with that situation, is it not the same over there? xx

[Hopalong]

A few people can't wear masks for health reasons and have cards to carry.

The masses who rebel against masks for political or antisocial reasons are just prolonging the pandemic and ensuring that many more people will die. To be that indifferent to others' lives does seem to me pretty narcissistic. And callous.

Hops

[Twoapenny]

A few people can't wear masks for health reasons and have cards to carry.

The masses who rebel against masks for political or antisocial reasons are just prolonging the pandemic and ensuring that many more people will die. To be that indifferent to others' lives does seem to me pretty narcissistic. And callous.

Hops

I get that Hopsie but the person who wrote in to the paper didn't mention whether it had been established if the person had a medical reason not to wear one?  Perhaps I've misread it or missed a bit but I know here that disabled people are being harassed for not wearing masks as people are assuming they're refusing rather than unable.  It's making an already stressful situation even more stressful for some people.  Perhaps it was discussed somewhere else; I think I'd have just felt more comfortable if the possibility of a medical exemption was raised before an assumption of a personality disorder was suggested? 

[lighter]

Has anyone heard of water purification chemicals used to help with blood clotting during Covid illness? 

Specifically sodium chloride and NaCio
                                                                       2?

Lighter
   

[sKePTiKal]

OT to Hops -

Yes ZH does lean to reporting some really oddball and questionable stuff. Much is written elsewhere - and links are provided to the original source (which I usually prefer to read, given ZH's weird formatting these days). So they're more an aggregator site than anything else. "Tyler Durden" is a pseudonym used for content written by nameless people. But their financial and statistical stuff - while perhaps contradictory to establishment media sources - is still mostly solid. So I always liberally add "salt" while reading and try to verify bits of info with other sources. That said, one often hears bits & bobs first at ZH that is later picked up by the major media providers. Seen it happen over & over, during the last decade or so.

The far-right tag that's recently been attached to them, isn't accurate, in my view. There is just as much far-left content there that's ALSO of questionable origin and validity. Not quite to the level of click-bait yet with either point of view; but decidedly not mainstream.

Since I was linking to statistical info, I decided to use them anyway. The site is not much different than the Drudge Report - or any number of news aggregators.  These days, every site's bias (slip) is showing... in one article or another... and that falls squarely on the authors, imo.

I have a TON of experience evaluating media by now (as a lot of us do) and I read plenty of stuff that's way outside any viewpoint or confirmation bias reflex... and wouldn't post the link, if I thought the relevant content was completely BS.

[Hopalong]

Got it. Thanks for the explanation of how you see it, Amber.

What's source for the goose isn't necessarily source for the gander...but it helps to understand.

hugs
Hops

[Twoapenny]

One of the things I'm finding tricky to organise at the moment is trying to do things we need to on the same day, where possible, to reduce the number of times we leave the house, but also taking into account many places are still operating reduced opening hours so we can't necessarily go when most convenient for us.  We've got several appointments next Monday which is good (as it means only going into town one day next week) but there's a gap of almost an hour between the last and last but one appointment.  Usually we'd just go to a cafe but I'm not keen on that just now as numbers are rising here and it's not the nicest weather for sitting outside in, either.  Might have to have a think about where there's a bench in a sheltered spot and just take a thermos and some snacks; at least if we're out of the wind it won't be as cold.  Probably find everyone else has the same idea as well and there will be nowhere to sit lol.

[Hopalong]

I'll keep my fingers crossed you get some sunshine that day, Tupp.
I had a memorable moment last winter (the Before Time) when Pooch and I went downtown one afternoon and I suddenly craved a beer. Couldn't go indoors with Pooch. But one bar at the end of the bricked-over downtown has brick walls and directly faces south (and is partly sheltered from the west by a hotel). Anyway, wound up sitting there in I think February feeling perfectly toasty! Had a warm Pooch on my lap and a frosty beer and it was cozy. It surprised me how nice it was.

Sunshine for Monday, request submitted.

hugs
Hops

[Twoapenny]

I'll keep my fingers crossed you get some sunshine that day, Tupp.
I had a memorable moment last winter (the Before Time) when Pooch and I went downtown one afternoon and I suddenly craved a beer. Couldn't go indoors with Pooch. But one bar at the end of the bricked-over downtown has brick walls and directly faces south (and is partly sheltered from the west by a hotel). Anyway, wound up sitting there in I think February feeling perfectly toasty! Had a warm Pooch on my lap and a frosty beer and it was cozy. It surprised me how nice it was.

Sunshine for Monday, request submitted.

hugs
Hops

Finding cosy places to snuggle in during the winter months is so lovely, Hops, I love it when you can find a place where sitting outside is a pleasure, even when the weather's bad.  There's a place in the next town where they put an awning out over the winter with clear plastic sides and big blankets on the chairs so you can shelter whilst looking at the river - of course, it's usually too busy to sit down anywhere but that's the rub!  I've sorted our little predicament out as I checked the opening hours again and they've increased them since last time we went so it will work now with minimal loitering; maybe ten minutes tops but there's a sheltered fire exit we can huddle into if need for that short time.  Usually we could sit in the waiting room but they've closed that due to covid.  Do none of the bars allow dogs?  Most pubs here do, and a lot of cafes do as well, you quite often see a pair of big brown eyes looking pleadingly at you when you eat your chips   Lol xx

[Hopalong]

A very few places do on sort of sheltered (plastic drapes usually) patios that have big propane heaters. I wish dogs were allowed indoors at a few places (after Covid) but they just ain't. The U.K. is a lot more adaptable to pooches, imo.

I've been agonizing over a steel round simple firepit thing for the small patio. It's not cheap and would require a lot of logs. No maintenance, good heat output, etc. And movable so no permanent installation. But I'm asking myself whether with my back issues, I should even bother. Stacking firewood would hurt and also require a rack I don't have....a lot of fuss and bother.

It might be that my best solution to virus isolation this winter will be just to suck it up, make walking dates for sunny days, and/or find 1-4 people (possibly including M IF (big IF) the just-friends thing works out)-- to be in a "pod" so once or twice a month I could host or attend a movie night with just 1 or 2 invited at a time. Masks on indoors, sitting 6'-8' apart. Would be weird but maybe comforting. Third option is just to wait it out.

M is the only person I know so far who's as intense about virus precautions as I am, but he's problematic. It's possible Zoomie could become one. He's been very careful but has gone into some stores. I suppose I could tell him if he gets tested negative after 2-3 weeks of real quarantine, he can be in my pod!

The social drive is SO powerful. To get a grip when I'm wavering, I check the daily Covid dashboard for my area. Forty-six new cases today. That'll do it.

I hope you find happy safe places where you can get a bit of that humanity-feeling!

hugs
Hops

[Hopalong]

Been torturing myself over a lovely minimalist patio steel firepit that gets great reviews for putting out a LOT of heat and being generally wonderful. However, it's not cheap...and, it requires wood (I don't want to mess with propane) and eats a lot of it, so that would mean also setting up a firewood rack, and dealing with tarps and covers and cleanup. (You just turn the pit thing upside down and it leaves very little ash...burns almost all of the wood to nothing.) But it should be protected.

So by the time I get the steel pit AND a firewood rack AND split firewood AND a cover or tarp....it's not small bucks on my budget. It'd be perrrrrfect on my patio but who knows if that many people would even want to come during the cold months?

I am vacillating between talking myself in or out of it. Thought of a chiminea, but I like this sleek smaller thing a lot better. Patio's fairly long but not wide.

Just yappin'...
hugs
Hops

[lighter]

What IS this fire Pit....thing you speak of, Hops?

 Lighter

[Twoapenny]

I'd be inclined to see outdoor heating as an investment in health and wellbeing, Hops.  If it means that at least the possibility of people coming over is more real and keeping safer while you socialise is more possible than I'd say it's worth the investment.  Could your gardening chap stack wood/chop it small/look after the maintenance of it for you?  Long walks on sunny days is a good idea. I think socially distanced movie nights would work, odd though it would feel at first?

Cases are up in our area as well, it's sobering.  We're still being mostly inside and very careful but for most people it's nigh on impossible - by the time you factor in work, school, checking on elderly relatives and so on, there's a fair amount of mingling going on however careful people are being.  Is it true that Trump has it?  I wasn't sure if it was a (not very funny) joke doing the rounds.  Hard to know with the internet these days! xx

[lighter]

Do yu really think Trump tested positive for COVID?  I think it's more likely than not.

Lighter