Silver Linings

[lighter]

BEAR HUNT!  So perfect for this area.... will suggest it on the message board and hope it takes off. 

So glad to read more silver linings, guys.

Lighter

[Hopalong]

When you post it, this is the story that inspired the idea (there's a storybook....).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kL36gMrHJaI

[CB123]

Hops, I absolutely LOVED your post! What a lot of wonderful community connections. I love the bear idea--I've heard of some people putting up rainbows too. Isnt it amazing what people are doing now that there is time to plan and then enjoy it? I was struck by all the people wanting to walk after you wishing for this for years. I think we are all way too busy and stressed. I wonder if we will have changed things on a permanent basis by the end of this?

I'm still glowing after reading your post.

CB

[Twoapenny]

Hops, I absolutely LOVED your post! What a lot of wonderful community connections. I love the bear idea--I've heard of some people putting up rainbows too. Isnt it amazing what people are doing now that there is time to plan and then enjoy it? I was struck by all the people wanting to walk after you wishing for this for years. I think we are all way too busy and stressed. I wonder if we will have changed things on a permanent basis by the end of this?

I'm still glowing after reading your post.

CB

I hope things change more permanently after this.  I think many people with health problems already appreciate the value of community, companionship, time spent with other people, as well as obviously appreciating health care and all the things that support that.  It would be nice if people are able to keep in place some of the changes that have come about through this xx

[Hopalong]

For the first time in several years, the garden called me.
My usual springtime depression has not hit and the pandemic
has placed me back in the present, more tuned in to how incredibly
lucky I am to have the capacity to grow some food.

I hired a friend's son to do the heavy part of preparing the soil
for planting, adding big bags of compost, readying the dirt smooth
and rich.

And then I soaked some year-old seeds overnight to help them germinate,
and M and I planted both beds (4 x 6) with veggies. So far: spinach, kale,
chard, beets, radishes and carrots. Save a sunny end for cantaloupe and
watermelon. Just one or two of each for those, since they'll spill out of the
bed and cover an area behind my little back patio.

It brings me joy. Next project is my cluttered neglected side patio, which
is a safe and lovely place to sit with friends (at EIGHT feet, to keep M calm)
and enjoy the beautiful weather.

I think the real silver lining is being driven out of my torpor and back into
nature and its healing energy. That, plus the actual danger meaning that
I'm more grateful and aware of being alive. What a gift to be here, to see
the wind blowing through my crazy mulberry trees and how the leaves dance.

Hugs
Hops

[Twoapenny]

The garden sounds lovely, Hops, enjoyable, productive and means you won't have to worry about food running out.  Boxes ticked on all levels there.  And very interesting that your spring time depression hasn't hit, despite the fact that the current situation could induce depression in almost anyone!  Do you have a theory as to why it hasn't hit?

There are aspects of the situation that I definitely want to keep up after we return to 'normal'.  The once weekly shop that gives no opportunity to snack endlessly or skip meals has also saved me a huge amount of time with my every other day shopping trips no longer happening and is helping me lose some weight, as well as making sure I eat more fruit and veg as it's all we've got in.

Not accepting calls from people who might upset me, making excuses for other people's behaviour, feeling I need to justify my own behaviour and not getting in to arguments about points of view are all things I want to keep up, along with daily yoga sessions, as much down time as necessary and drinking plenty of water.  I'm also feeling better for limiting newspapers and facebook to quick scrolls through just to check (a) important information and (b) if anyone is reaching out for help via the group.

Prioritising myself and son is definitely something I want to hang on to.  There are only a few things he likes to go out and do and seeing how much healthier he is for being in for almost three weeks now I want to keep restricting how much he does, despite the protestations of almost everyone else we ever come in to contact with.

Valuing other people - this week or so has been a bit of a revelation for me in terms of old friends getting in touch to check we were okay, and my friend's mum (an old childhood friend, I spent more time at their house than my own when we were kids) texted to check we were okay.  When I thanked her for making more effort for me than my own mum does she said she's always thought of me as a second daughter.  That really touched me and I appreciated her saying that so much.  So definitely have people I want to prioritise now over others.  No more fretting over people who don't get in touch, don't reply to texts or return calls, who ignore emails.  Focus on the people who are there now, not the ones who aren't.

[Hopalong]

That is SO lovely, Tupp, your friend's mum expressing how she cares about you.
When the pandemic is over, how amazing it could be to see her again. I hope you can.

I think my depression didn't hit because of adrenalin. After the first couple weeks of self isolation during which I read way too much news...I began to realize that I was responding to the actualities, and putting a lot of energy into connecting with others. More than I usually do, and my baseline gratitude for every single person I care about (reciprocally!) mushroomed even bigger. I think the news of unexpected kindness everywhere and people caring about each other again in new/old ways, really lifted my spirits, as though on a parallel track. M got consumed by the awfulness and I got consumed by the humanity positives.

The garden just anchors it all in life itself. It wouldn't feed us totally of course, but it's going to bring both extra nutrients and soul food.

I think your son is a NATURAL social distancer, and he's now experiencing his own natural level of engagement and activity. How beautiful to see stress fade from his face. I can imagine it.

And you resting? Amen amen. About darn time. I am so glad you are letting that happen...because resting deep into your cells for an extended time is exactly what is needed in your life. The body and mind really ARE self healing, but present culture doesn't give us a chance to do it very often. It's lovely that you're using this period to renew yourself entirely.

I love silver linings. They are just as real as the rest.

Hugs
Hops

[Twoapenny]

That's so interesting, Hops, it's as if life needed to simplify for you to be able to focus on those good and kind aspects without all the other 'chatter' in the background.  Everyone having to stop is the change, I think.  I don't feel left out and excluded the way I usually do?  Son and I don't fit in to society very well and I find the people  who  want to live the same way that we do (or need to, I'm not sure which) are few and far between.  At the moment, everyone is living like us.  It's weird that we needed society to stop in order to feel part of it.

I hope M can find a way to focus more on the positives.  There is a fine line between being aware of what's going on (which we all need, just to be safe at the moment) and being consumed by it.  It's a difficult path to tread.

We will see my friend's mum; she's lovely and has always been lovely to me.  When we were kids her house was a meeting point.  She had four kids who between them knew just about every other kid on the estate and we all used to end up round there.  She's the kind of person that takes in all the waifs and strays at Christmas so they've got somewhere to go for dinner.  All of son's early Christmases were spent round there.  She's always made more effort than my mum.  So we'll be heading up to see her once we're all allowed out again.

And yes, I'm enjoying being able to rest and watching son get fitter and more relaxed.  It's really lovely, and lovely to read of you gardening as well xx

[Hopalong]

I will torture everyone with vegs descriptions, promise!

I really liked this (as so often, you sum up the heart of things so beautifully):

It's weird that we needed society to stop in order to feel part of it.

I think a lot of normally-more-isolated people are probably feeling more like everybody else right now. It makes a lot of sense. The virus is a kind of great equalizer--sharing the experience good or ill.

I share your hopes that some of the silver linings will linger as culture reconstructs itself after the pandemic. If some of the good could become permanent change, and the bad become motivation for a better society.

hugs
Hops

[lighter]

A neighbor is building a moss garden about a mile away from my house.  I collected different kinds of moss for her, and moss from the next door neighbor's stepping stones as it grows back every year and makes them slippery.  Healthy,  lovely stuff.

That same neighbor gives me small cuttings from her huge happy lime green hydrangea bush every year.  The cuttings from last year grow in a pot through the winter, and I transplant in spring.  The first cuttings were transplanted to front yard next to the dry creekbed... behind the mailbox.   It appears they're very happy there, so I might move rocks and plant new cutting there as well.  Finding the right shade sun water ratio isn't easy.

Lighter

[Hopalong]

I've never done much about shrubbery (cost) but I love hearing about your hydrangea cuttings doing well, Lighter. I have one fancy hydrangea (given to me by previous bf, B) and despite me ignoring it nonstop, it's gotten big and full.

Early on I put in some native bay, my best choice (I thought I would do absolutely everything native and organic, forever--just couldn't keep it up). The bay bushes have a lovely mixed trait: they're both airy-looking and full at the same time.

M has grown baby fig trees for the last year from a neighbor's cuttings, and they look great.

Hops

[lighter]

Hops:

Dig up some of your stems with roots around your hydrangea.  They'll give you little bushes that will grow.  I put new fall cuttings in a pot every year, so it gets more sun on the porch, then transplant in Spring. I decided to keep adding my cuttings to the bush in the front yard.  It's right next to the dry creek bed, and is a very wet area with some shade, some sun.

The neighbor with the moss garden turns out to be new owner of house with HUGE yard.  She has a back yard that's all moss, trees and paths or waiting to become that.  They've bitten off a lot, but are committed and had good bones.  Huge boulders in the front planting bed in front of the house are amazing.   She's transplanted huge fiddle head ferns from their swampy area near the road.  I can't wait to see how big those ferns get.... at least 4' tall. 

They planted small flowering trees then put lights in them all with buried electric cables.... SO MAGICAL!  Just amazing.  They put in a long planting bench with a sink Martha Stewart would love.

She'll like my moss yard, but hers is going to be feature area after fearture area.  So many places to create different plantings and so many tree stumps for planting ferns in!  Just..... amazing.  Fire pit area.  Back patio area with a ring of large hydrangeas already happy and growing.  She's also on a huge hill so it's easier for her to create more features, JUST AMAZING, I'm so happy I went. 

Around the corner from her is a yard that's all moss... in the back yard, and mostly moss in the front.  I should ask them how they did it... DID they use poison or do they hand pick their weeds?  In any case, we all have moss in common and someone to chat about it with now. 

At one point I felt like I was babbling and stopped talking.  The couple looked at me like the world stopped, so I just started happily chattering on about how to transplant and anchor and create features, which honestly, is about the funniest part.  It hadn't occurred to her to plant in her lovely tree stumps just begging for green things.  They had the wonder of children... so satisfying to walk their lovely property, which is super special and "fancy" compared to mine. 

Hops, the fig trees.... someone just honked a horn twice.... it was like being smacked in the head.  Darnit.  Things have been so quiet today.  Just birds chirping. 
Anyway, the fig trees grow well in Georgia.  Not sure about where you are, but there's nothing so satisfying as harvesting fresh figs every year.  Our fig is at least 20 feet tall now and gives loads of fruit. 

I might go and take a big bucket of cuttings and roots to plant somewhere around here and at the new moss friend's house. 

Happy gardening!

Lighter



 

[Twoapenny]

You two are going to have the nicest gardens by the time this is all over!

I was thinking today that I'm enjoying being able to go inward and really get to know myself without any external pressures or influences, or having to put my mask on every time I interact with people.  I think one of the reasons that interaction with the group lady threw me for such a loop is because it was quite a big jolt in an otherwise calm sea - like a freak wave upended my boat.  I am enjoying just being able to focus on how I feel, and work on that.  I did some yoga, huge amount of tension in my hips and my shoulders.  I kind of chased it around my body and could do with doing more work on my feet and jaw - and I've got time to do it.  I'm enjoying having time.

The other thing I'm finding interesting and that's giving me food for thought is how much easier I'm finding the day now that I don't have to be productive.  Beyond cooking meals and doing laundry, there's nothing terribly pressing for me to do.  So I find myself wondering how different the world might be, if we worked enough to get our basic needs met, and then spent our time doing things we love?  Or another way to look at it might be what kind of work people might do if everyone earnt the same wage, regardless of occupation?  Would we have more poets, artists, gardeners, potters, bakers?  Is there a nomadic busker lurking beneath the suit of many a banker?  I just find it interesting to think about how different things are when you can choose what to do with your time, rather than having those choices made for you.

[Hopalong]

I remember when I first fell in love with dirt and growing things.
I never became expert but it definitely was a spiritual and primal drawn-out YESSSSSSSS.

Eager to do that now.
So far, baby beets are about 3/4" high and carrots an inch. Thinned beets already, need to do carrots. Kale and spinach are tiny green dots on the dark dirt.

Groundhog the size of a fat medium dog swaggered down the fence line the other day, just feet from my friend and I (on our 8-feet-apart wine visit). He'll do his damage but I've always liked them. I'm liking every animal or plant I see these days, feeling very grateful to be seeing them.

Glad you're making new friends in the neighborhood Lighter, and finding and sharing inspiration with them.

Tupp, I understand entirely. It's wonderful to see how deeply you've entered and embraced suspended time, and in your typical way, have been altered and healed by it.

I think there are more silver linings to come. I do.

Hugs
Hops

[Twoapenny]

I remember when I first fell in love with dirt and growing things.
I never became expert but it definitely was a spiritual and primal drawn-out YESSSSSSSS.

Eager to do that now.
So far, baby beets are about 3/4" high and carrots an inch. Thinned beets already, need to do carrots. Kale and spinach are tiny green dots on the dark dirt.

Groundhog the size of a fat medium dog swaggered down the fence line the other day, just feet from my friend and I (on our 8-feet-apart wine visit). He'll do his damage but I've always liked them. I'm liking every animal or plant I see these days, feeling very grateful to be seeing them.

Glad you're making new friends in the neighborhood Lighter, and finding and sharing inspiration with them.

Tupp, I understand entirely. It's wonderful to see how deeply you've entered and embraced suspended time, and in your typical way, have been altered and healed by it.

I think there are more silver linings to come. I do.

Hugs
Hops

Aw, I have never seen a groundhog!  I had to look it up lol, so cute!  Do they just eat everything they come across?  The veggies sound promising, Hops.  I've ordered some potato growing kits; they won't produce anything until September/October time or be delivered for a few weeks as they're so backed up at the moment but it's a start and it gives me plenty of time to tidy the garden up before they get here.

Silver linings for son - much more sociable in the mornings and will sit and eat breakfast with me instead of sitting on his own.  Visibly more relaxed and laid back, is laughing more and more interested in showing me what he's been working on.  Is having regular contact with college friends and one of the staff from college who is phoning him most days.  Came downstairs yesterday and announced he was hungry before making himself a sandwich.  He's never noticed he's hungry before and has never asked for food or drink in his whole life.  Agreed to come for a walk last night with a face mask on - first time out of the house in forty days.  Slept nine hours last night - I think that's the first time in fourteen years that he's slept more than about six hours at most.

For me - I'm just loving having time.  I love being able to sit here and write this because I don't have an endless to do list to get through before bed time.  I'm going to have a bit more breakfast in a minute, tidy up a bit, put some washing out, potter around, phone a friend, there's lots I can do but almost nothing I must do.  It's a massive, massive luxury for me and one I'm enjoying enormously and will endeavour to keep around in some way on a permanent basis now.

Also grateful for the clarity the enforced isolation is bringing.  I'm seeing friends and friendships in a different way - noticing the ones who phone and the ones who don't but not feeling as negatively about that as I ordinarily would.  Seeing it more as a way of knowing who to let go and who to hang on to And really enjoying being able to sit at my desk watching the birds feeding in the tree outside without other people's head constantly popping through as they walk past the house.  The birds have taken to lining up on the wall to wait for their turn to get to the bird feeder, it's so cute.