Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Silver Linings
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: Hopalong on April 27, 2020, 12:08:15 PM ---I hear that!
And personally I hate shopping. Barely ever buy new clothes as there are consignment shops everywhere. Nothing urgent for me, but I'm not a growing boy, either.
Happy saving! Once I took that Financial Peace class, I cut up all credit cards and have never had debt since. Not a penny. Never ever will. Deeply determined.
The psychological relief of being debt free is inexpressible.
Hugs
Hops
--- End quote ---
Yes, Hopsie, Amen to that, I was debt free for a long time but ran up debts when we moved - unforeseen expenses, a bit of bad planning on my part and then costs once we were here that I hadn't been aware would be coming, plus the return to work I thought was heading my way never happened. I've chipped away at it as best I could and had assumed it would take me the rest of this year to clear, so being able to do it within the next couple of months now is a real bonus and then back to debt free it is :) I like to keep cards (and I do have several) just so I know that if disaster strikes, I've got money to hand should I need it. Throwback to early days when son was little and we unexpectedly found ourselves homeless without money - if we hadn't been rescued by a friend and my sister at the time I don't know what we would have done. I focused on building up a credit rating after that so that I could get a credit card for emergencies and it is only for real emergencies, not for spending willy nilly. Lesson learned for next time - I honestly think I'll assume everything will cost twice as much and then save that amount instead xx
bean2:
Hi Hops,
This is bean. Dr G opened up registration for me, it's really me, do you remember me? I remember you had a bad back and had to type and work laying down. How is your back? I really hope you're doing well.
My hubby and I want to plant a garden so bad, and are planning on doing so around September. I live in the desert and the sun scorches and kills everything except gourds in the summer. The window to start a garden has closed but I do have some lovely sunflowers that are going nuts right now that I planted around Christmas time. ha ha
hugs,
Bean
Hopalong:
Hi Bean,
Thanks for remembering me! Yup, my back was pure hell during the last few years at my job. It's better now but will always be fragile I think.
Sorry to hear desert gardening's a challenge! Are there any secret tips for container gardening that could get you some nice veggies?
Hops
bean2:
Hops,
I sure hope so! It's funny, when I read your handle "hops" I think hops, used to make beer. Then I read my handle "bean" and here we are talking about gardening! :)
I do think when you come from an abusive Family of Origin - in my case I had narcissitic parents - finding ways to relax and nurture things is important. Gardening just seems like the perfect escape. My husband is currently working on a backyard, he has planted 4 different types of grass...
My husband had an extremely abusive father, I did not know him he died before I met my husband but I hear the stories my husband and his siblings tell me and it's horrifying. In comparison, I feel like my parents were pretty OK!
Hubby has been talking about this vegetable garden non-stop since the coronavirus hit. I know we won't have to grow our own food to survive - I know this logically - but spiritually and emotionally it seems like a good thing to do at this time of high anxiety. Agree with everyone else who posted similarily.
bean
Twoapenny:
Just had a text from a friend that said, "Are you bored yet?" and I realised that, for the first time in years I'm not bored. I'm also not exhausted, stressed, anxious (I'll edit that - I'm anxious if I think about virus related things but I don't have the constant underlying anxiety that I've had for years) or, interestingly, feeling lonely. It's just coming up to 7pm here and my level of tiredness is what I would usually have by 8am. I've done lots of little things that I wanted to do today, and because I've done things I wanted to do, the boring but necessary stuff - meals, washing, emptying bins and so on - hasn't felt boring. It's kind of hammocked in between things I do like doing so it hasn't had an impact, whereas ordinarily my entire day is one boring task after another, all of which are essential, and then I'm too tired to do anything I like at the end of the day.
I do think a lot is to do with the EMDR; I think that's shifted a lot of underlying stuff so my thoughts and feelings now are generally more immediate and easier to manage but I also think the rest and lack of stress has played a huge part in both myself and my son feeling so much better. I'm just coming up to the stage in my cycle where I'm often as mad as a box of frogs and the symptoms just aren't there right now. I feel like I can actually, really breathe and it's nice.
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