Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Silver Linings
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: lighter on June 23, 2020, 04:42:23 PM ---Tupp:
How is the research into intentional communities coming along?
I'm interested in CB's opinions and experiences about that, as well.
Lighter
--- End quote ---
I've done a bit, Lighter, but I'm being mindful of not being too much 'in my head' with it all. We will need to visit places and not just the communities but spend time in the surrounding areas, have a look at any clubs or social events son might like, look at property prices locally (in case the commune idea is terrible and we need to move out eight weeks after we move in) and just generally do lots of research in 'real life', rather than me daydreaming on the internet (which I do a lot and am trying to cut right down on). But currently I have a list of 32 to look into in more detail, and I've highlighted four of those as they sounded as if they might be a really good match. Some places are actually separate flats and houses but all either in the same building (large house converted into flats) or on the same piece of ground, with some communal spaces, so you have your own 'place' but are closely linked with your neighbours. That might be a good option for us if living with assorted other people doesn't end up being such a good idea. I'm just aware that son's noises and rocking motions might be difficult for other people - we're very used to it and some people don't pay any mind to it at all but others find it difficult so we'll have a good look round and I think they all have a week long stay period so that everyone can see if they feel happy or not. It's nice to have it all there as an option.
My silver lining from yesterday was that I did the front garden and was able to do the whole garden really well and finish each job. I don't usually have time so normally I'd just do the worst bit and everything else gets left. But I stayed out there until it was finished and it was a really nice feeling of satisfaction. I don't often get that xx
lighter:
Hear! Hear!
To finishing satisfying jobs.
Well done: )
YES, Tupp!
Lighter
Hopalong:
I like the idea of a private flat within a community setting, maybe a communal dining/social hall and garden. Don't think I could cope with just a room or two in an unaltered house. But needs must, and some communal houses could work.
So neat to hear about the gardening, Tupp. Did you ever find any big bins to fill mostly with rock to make them too heavy to steal, and a top layer of dirt for flowers?
hugs
Hops
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: Hopalong on June 24, 2020, 12:36:01 PM ---I like the idea of a private flat within a community setting, maybe a communal dining/social hall and garden. Don't think I could cope with just a room or two in an unaltered house. But needs must, and some communal houses could work.
So neat to hear about the gardening, Tupp. Did you ever find any big bins to fill mostly with rock to make them too heavy to steal, and a top layer of dirt for flowers?
hugs
Hops
--- End quote ---
I think it might depend on the other people as to how much I feel I need my own space? When I first left home I shared a flat with four other girls and it worked brilliantly because none of us were ever home at the same time. It was almost like having your own place but at a fraction of the cost. So I think a place where people are out and busy might work if my only private space was my bedroom (assuming it's a big room so I've space for a desk, maybe a small couch etc). But the idea of a flat/apartment and shared spaces is very appealing. I'm looking forward to exploring it in real life!
I've not done any more about big tubs for the garden just yet, Hopsie - it's on my list but quite near the bottom as I'm wanting to focus on some other things at the moment. It does look pretty out the front right now, though, even with just the few bits I've got planted out there. The lockdown means people aren't walking past all day and that's just made it all feel a lot calmer xx
lighter:
Tupp:
This living situation journey you're on will be interesting. Just remember.... one situation, with shared living space, might work very well with one group of people, yet be completely wrong with another.
Maybe the group is more important than the actually space?
Certainly a large part.
Having a space to be alone, and really enjoy being in, will be a priority, as will the group. I think there's going to be lots of balancing pros and cons, in any situation.
I trust you'll do what you have to do, in order to figure that out. I'm so impressed with your long gaze.... looking down the road, if things don't work out. You're not seeing any situation as THE answer. No catastrophizing, just plan A and B and C.
Amazing!
Lighter
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version