Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Garden
Hopalong:
Red Plastic Mulch is primarily used on tomatoes for an early harvest. According to researchers at Cornell and Clemson universities, when tomatoes are grown on red mulch they have higher yields, stronger stems and ripen earlier. Research has also found that red mulch reduces nematode damage.
Have fun!
Hopw
Twoapenny:
The garden sounds lovely, Lighter, and so does the light fixture! I love it when people just give you random stuff :) xx
lighter:
OK, Tupp.
It feeeels like I'm meeting people who dwell on my wave length lately.
I have the new moss friend, who's put herself on my T's waitlist,btw.
I reconnected with an old friend, who used to be my very best friend. That was amazing and I'm just embracing and feeling the warmth and letting it be what it is. She's giving me space, but we've been laughing, just like the old days. The humor and ease are flowing between us again.
The gal with the potato plant and amazing light fixture.... usually I treat other people that way. It feels like the universe has shifted off a door it was resting on. And the door is opening. It's feels like breathing out a long stale breath I've been holding in tensely for so very long. And now it's out, and there's room for fresh air.. more air.... clean air.
It feels like I've finally relaxed my abs... just let them relax after a lifetime of tensing. That started in childhood... not sure when.
I've moved away from the neighbors who live 2 doors down. Not something I planned. I just didn't go anymore, or just popped in and out when I felt like it and that's OK too.
I feel like there's going to be time, and space, for whatever comes next.... that whatever it is will help me understand the last 15 years.
And the last 15years will help me understand what comes next.
::nod::
Lighter
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: lighter on June 21, 2020, 08:47:45 PM ---OK, Tupp.
It feeeels like I'm meeting people who dwell on my wave length lately.
I have the new moss friend, who's put herself on my T's waitlist,btw.
I reconnected with an old friend, who used to be my very best friend. That was amazing and I'm just embracing and feeling the warmth and letting it be what it is. She's giving me space, but we've been laughing, just like the old days. The humor and ease are flowing between us again.
The gal with the potato plant and amazing light fixture.... usually I treat other people that way. It feels like the universe has shifted off a door it was resting on. And the door is opening. It's feels like breathing out a long stale breath I've been holding in tensely for so very long. And now it's out, and there's room for fresh air.. more air.... clean air.
It feels like I've finally relaxed my abs... just let them relax after a lifetime of tensing. That started in childhood... not sure when.
I've moved away from the neighbors who live 2 doors down. Not something I planned. I just didn't go anymore, or just popped in and out when I felt like it and that's OK too.
I feel like there's going to be time, and space, for whatever comes next.... that whatever it is will help me understand the last 15 years.
And the last 15years will help me understand what comes next.
::nod::
Lighter
--- End quote ---
Oh my God, Lighter, that sounds amazing, I'm so happy for you! Meeting people on your wavelength is such a huge thing and yes, being on the receiving end of the sort of thoughtfulness and kindness you usually give out is so encouraging and so welcome! And such a big change when you're used to giving and then kind of having to give a bit more. Oh wow. And yes, quietly dropping away from people without a big drama in your head, it's so nice when it can just kind of happen rather than you having to think and analyse and wrestle with whether or not it should. So nice to just be. And relaxing those abs. Yep, I get that feeling, although with me it's the chest. But it's the same feeling, of sucking something in and holding it. And to be able to let that go. Aw, I'm so happy for you, this is such a nice step forward :) xx
lighter:
I forgot to mention another amazing friend... the one who went through the inpatient mental health center..... SHE's so on my wavelength right now. We bounce stuff off each other, and learn and understand more deeply the concepts we've been moving through.
So that's my old best friend, back...the new moss friend, who's on vacation right now.
The friend I mentioned first, above, was really my Sister's friend in high school, but it turns out we're creative spirits interested deeply in the same things.... and healing ourselves and always spent time in the family BEING healers, trying to be, anyway.
Scapegoated, to some extent. People benefitting from our time and efforts, but refusing to acknowledge or be thankful or even admit there are good qualities... just noticing what they feel are negative qualities and peeping up about those, while being dismissive or resentful about the positive things they weren't doing or even noticing SHOULD be on someone's to do list.... mostly not even OUR to do list.
What is it about people like that... I'm talking about myself now... that
go above and beyond, pick up other people's obligations and DO DO DO, while being criticized and judged BAD, with evil intentions... and yet we continue DOING.
What is that about? It's a ME problem. It's something I..
volunteered for.
That's not cool.
That's a thing.
That's... maybe part of everything.
I wonder why I did that. Why I'm still compelled to think in those terms.
Why people are often so ugly about it and why I didn't call that ugliness what it was. I guess I didn't know what it was. Couldn't speak to it, bc it wasn't something I understood, and......
earnestness.
I think I'm putting the earnest bit down next.
Lighter
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