N's and substance abuse

[shixie]

I've been pondering this combination for a while and can't help but think that people who habitually abuse drugs and alcohol are most likely N's.  Substance abuse is destructive to relationships and if the abuser cared about their relationships it would motivate them to stop or get help.  Maybe people with what are called addictive personalities are really N's.  Just something I noticed about substance abusers I unfortunately have known throughout my life.  Take the substance away and all thats left is a big N.  

Stacey

[onlyrenting]

Stacey, I'm new to the N word and during my recent readings on the N behavior, this drug abuse is very common.
I read the following :

Freud said that drugs can give pleasure and a greatly desired degree of independence from the external world; drugs allow withdrawal from the pressures of reality (Khantzian, Halliday, & McAuliffe, 1990, opening page). Individuals with NPD will be attracted to drugs that support their inflated self-image and permit them to evade a reality they dislike. Independence from the external world (and its tenacious reality-based pressures) allow these individuals to be remain unaware of their failures, rejections, limitations, and inability to self-regulate. Drugs become an alternative to living life on its own terms.

Individuals with NPD are vulnerable to drug and alcohol abuse or addiction because there are drugs which support an inflated sense of self and drugs that interrupt or moderate feelings of depression and low self-esteem. Most of these individuals will use drugs that enhance their feelings of vigor, power, or euphoria. Cocaine is very effective for this goal. Individuals with NPD, to ward off unwanted intrusions of unpleasant reality, use denial, flight, and overcompensation supported by increased activity, overproductivity, and grandiosity. Use of these defenses can result in increased isolation. These individuals will use alcohol and other sedatives to facilitate this isolation. There are some individuals with NPD who prefer the autistic stimulation of hallucinogens (Richards, 1993, p. 253).

thought it was of intrest

[bludie]

Addiction can be an attempt to cope with fear without facing it squarely. A function of addiction can be avoidance -- a tactic of escape. The cost of addiction varies only with the magnitude of the compulsion; it is a form of servitude. The aim of treatment is to untangle a web of self-deceit around avoidance, escape, and denial (Weinberg, 1993, pp. 6-64). For individuals with NPD, the idea of servitude and the implications of the fear associated with escape behaviors may be unpleasant enough to allow them to consider abstinence as symbolic of their personal strength. This view of themselves will meet their psychological need to feel superior

http://www.toad.net/~arcturus/dd/narc.htm#3

I think this may be the same article you refer to, onlyrenting. My ex-N stopped drinking for over a year. I think it may have been the most difficult time in his life because, as the article suggests, the basis for an N's life is fantasy and illusions of grandeur. It makes sense that alcohol/drugs would enhance this false orientation. Thanks for sharing. Good topic.

[Ellie]

I read a phrase recently that describes my Nparents addiction - Religious addiction, or addiction to religion.

It is not a drug, but affects them the same way. It gives a feeling of authority and power. It brings on a high that normal living does not. I've been in church services where people enter being just themselves but they leave being much more judgemental and aggresive to others they do not agree with.

Yes, Ns have addiction problems - but it can be to drugs, alcohol, sex, exercise, religion, food, and many other obsessions.

[shixie]

Onlyrenting thank you, the information you provided is exactly what I have been going over in my head for some time.  Your reply not only validates me but explains it to me.
 
Ellie, I also agree with the religious addiction and any other type of addiction.  This all leads to extremism which is very dangerous.  My brother and his family belong to a church that seems to me no better than a cult.  Every person that I meet has a blank expression as if they lost all ability to reason.  I like to call them sheep.  Its people like that who allow atrocities to happen.  They are told what to think and don't question anything.  It is full of N supply.  Here is an interesting article about it.

http://www.pressiechurch.org/Theol_2/narcissism_goes_to_church.htm  

Stacey

[Anonymous]

I totally agree....I was involved with an alcoholic for 5 years.  Didn't realize until a couple of years of ago that he was also an N.  Several friends over the years have been in disastrous relationships and the behavior they described sounded so typical of an alcoholic but my friends would say "But they don't drink!"  and I understood that but just said "Well, something's wrong with him because he sure has the same behavior as an alcoholic."  I didn't understand until I found out about N's!!!!  

I've got N family members with the religious addiction...one hasn't been in a church for years but spouts scripture at you right and left and will argue with you until she's blue in the face if you disagree with her beliefs or question the scripture she's spouting.  My mother is addicted to her appearance...she spends hours every day on her make up, clothing, hair, etc and cannot pass any mirror without admiring herself.   I remember thinking as a young adult that it would be nice to be as "pretty" and "put together" as my Mom...but good heavens, it leaves no time for actually LIVING.  

I didn't understand any of this until last year when I found out about personality disorders and suddenly, everything made sense.  Alcoholics....religious fanatics......"high maintenance" people.....all N's, every last one of them (at least the ones in my life).  It seems so crystal clear now but it took me 40 years to understand why I was being mistreated, used and put down.  Now I just run for my life when I spot one and it sure is easy to spot them these days.