Friendship Moments: good or bad

[Hopalong]

Thanks, y'all. Bday was peaceful, and sweet in the afternoon when neighbor brought me lovely irises and a bottle of wine. What a yak that was.

I'm sad for Hol but glad if it's the right change for her about C. Don't know what the toxicity was but it sure does happen. Too often, to too many.

Happy B's getting new pain relief and fascinated by his massive turtle-pace move. It's a happy thought that y'all have persevered with belonging together through all of these obstacles. There's got to be something deep going on, or being created.

Bird Nerd and I will be in friend zone for a good while or maybe forever, but I do enjoy his company so far. Not enough info yet and slowwwwww is my mantra. Anything rushed or whoopdedooey is a red flag for me.

One back-of-mind concern is his EXTREME introversion. I was babbling away over a brew and he was just nodding, smiling, listening. His ex is alcoholic and a painful subject for him. He has two grown daughters who're functioning well, sounds like.

Nothing to worry about. I'm very leery of any mantanglement right now, but still enjoying the contrast.

hugs
Hops

[Dirty Hippy]

All forms of whoopdedooey prohibited until further notice.

[sKePTiKal]

Bird Nerd sounds nice! Nothin' wrong with friend-zone, s-l-o-w, and still being who you are.

The older we get - the more baggage we drag around into any kind of relationship. Takes a while to sort/purge/try something else and maybe trust A LITTLE in any new situation.

B came here the first time in 2019. Then, it was a year or so before he came back. And he's only just now sorted his head out enough to let his hair really hang down with me. Pain required he compartmentalize so much, so completely... he couldn't feel anything real or deeply. Been there, done that myself for other reasons. So it's just reminding him, being patient, let him make his own exploration, decisions, etc about it.

Of course, that required me keeping enough independence and confidence in my self - apart - until he got all the way through his process. And it doesn't hurt to keep that little flame alive anyway. We're going to need it as we prop each other up, hobbling along the way we do. Equals - is our main objective.

[lighter]

Eh.....slow, fast, or any combination, Hops......let it be your choice. 


Heck.....go wild.....or don't.

I'm glad you're enjoying the connection.


Lighter

[Dirty Hippy]

Hops do you meet these guys through advertised-as-single and looking type situation? Do you know if this introverted guy is looking for a relationship?

You sure do seem have a lot of social activity going on Hops.

[Hopalong]

I think he might be interested, Meh, but I'm not looking for anything intense. Just some company and conversation over a brew now and then is fine for me. Or not.

We're both volunteers for a local nonprofit (part of vtvnetwork.org), so we have that in common. Also, he reminded me of the kindly, scientific-nerdy types who worked with my father. I read a feature on his life in our newsletter (which I write, except for the "bio" features) and thought we'd enjoy a chat, so I reached out by email. He was pleased, and we've met up several times and have enjoyed it. Good organizations tend to attract good people, imo.

Lately I have been socially busier, you're right! But my overall introversion is way more powerful than I'd realized before. And that's okay too, just an adjustment.

I'm too overwhelmed by the home stuff to be more ambitious right now.

hugs
Hops

[Hopalong]

Amber, your description of how you and B have carefully stepped into this real relationship was mind-blowingly wise to me. Beautiful!

I am nursing a serious crush on the old family friend who once had a crush on me. The reunion finally happened and I felt joyful throughout. The two brothers and the sister....all welcomed me like a long-lost cousin.

As to Crushman, he's written the most brilliant, funny, moving and fascinating memoir I've ever had the privilege to read. It's almost 700 pages long, and completely absorbing. I was up all night binge-reading.

Alas, it's not for sale publicly. He just "gifts" copies to specific people. I'd try to describe it but it's so encompassing I don't know how. He does have an earlier book, Take Me With You, about him traveling the ENTIRE world until he finds a local person to invite to come visit him, on his dime. That book is on Amazon, just ordered it.

My head's still spinning from all that, with gratitude. He loved my poetry, which felt good. But back to California he (and his wife) go now, so I'll be forlorn a bit.

hugs
Hops

[lighter]

You so deserve lovely fellowship, Hops.  What an amazing time you had!  Please do drop interesting points, from that interesting memoir, and it's nice to know one's work is appreciated!

What an uplifting post, yay for'ya!

Lighter