Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
The Lake House
lighter:
It's funny how I find notebooks with info I've written up..... when I need them.
Thank God the basement kitchen notes popped up when they did.
I feel like I'm surfing real good, Hops: )
Lighter
lighter:
I'm running to the lake for cookie baking supplies, which didn't get used over Thanksgiving, and tying up a few things, as I can before Christmas.
I need to meet with housekeepers for Airbnb situation, finish clearning the haze from master bathroom tile and gather whatever works for bathroom renovation at home. Organizing is always an ongoing concern for me. Not my strong suit, but you guys know that.
I was going to make a run to Atlanta to visit my late father's ex gf of 18 years. She phoned a few months ago to say she had early onset dimentia and wanted to see me. When I texted her yesterday, inviting myself, she texted back I must have heard about her cancer..... I hadn't.
She was excited to see me, then said she has company and wants to visit when it's just us. I don't know what that means, as far as healthcare needs go, but we're set for a visit in January. I think she's not long for this world as her weight has dropped from a size 20 to an 8..... the cancer is consuming all her nutrition at this point.
The last time we spoke, she was focused on my father and his caretaker...... much of the time. THIS time she's focused on her late husband's decision to give his posessions to his daughter, after using my friend as a healthcare provider with his years of kindney failure and dialysis she wasn't allowed to speak about. He chose wisely, bc she used to be a nurse, mingled funds from the sale of her home and didn't see this coming..... was wholly unprepared.
So, our visit, when it takes place, will shake me the entire time.....
the legal battle with her step DD....
her losing battle with mortality......
the awkward moments when her sharp intelligence peeks through her Southern self depricating feminine charm and facade...
and she shows me her true self, which always happens these days. It's difficult to explain, but I suck at small talk and pretending, so.....
I think we both feel very emotionally naked in those moments.
I'm a little worried, not gonna lie, about the upcoming visit.
Lighter
Hopalong:
Sounds like that visit could bang on some deep bruises, Lighter.
If she's not just wanting to say goodbye with love, and instead is
thinking somehow that dragging you into involvement with all of this --
from her health to her legal battles --- etc.
That could be a huge test of your ability to NOT rescue or feel responsible for something you can't control or fix.
I hope it stays sentimental and you'll say No whenever you need to.
And hope it's not overall too hard.
Take care of yourself before, during and after, okay?
hugs
Hops
lighter:
Thanks for the advice, Hops. :I plan to get my head straight before the visit. My friend S will spend the rest of her conscious days dealing with the legals..... and that makes me very sad, as does her dh betraying her financially after all those years spent caring for him...more than 20. You get that better than anyone, I know.
I'll bring lots of happy photos and food she loves and maybe a funny movie or two. Any ideas for shows or movies you guys think would be fun? I wonder if she'd like to paint something? I never saw her do anything creative, but that doesn't mean she wouldn't enjoy it?
Lighter
lighter:
The final housekeeping company did their walk through this afternoon and said the property was too large to take on at this time.
That's 3 companies who can't and 2 relatively new companies, 2 person teams, who say they're up to the task. One showed up on time, did what they said they'd do and seem like a crack operation.
The other was a young mother who put me off 5 times and has a life of PD family situations, poor dear.
I hired the mother/dd team and will keep the young mom and her SIL as a backup team knowing I can't book anything back to back. Just can't.
Lighter
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