Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
The Lake House
lighter:
The first November rental is for sure happening. I'll get some time there tomorrow.
lighter:
This morning, while I made coffee, I noticed some drips of sealer used to finish the oak cabinets I'd distressed in the kitchen. I scraped as I noticed, and touched, smooth surfaces, once sharp and full of splinters .....all smoothed now. Sort of amazing. Splendid, even.
Last night I glued the bathroom cabinet door I'd knocked apart while distressing. It was easy.....the repair. Finding the glue required walking past many other things requiring attention.....so retrieving the glue, walking to the bathroom, unplugging it......those things were not so easy, bc ADD and squirrel!
And I wish I'd distressed the kitchen's lower cabinets, instead of the tops, bc the uppers have arches.....not optimal. I could have sat sturdily on the floor, instead of perched on tall ladders, for all that intensive labor too. Missed opportunity, there, but still.... it's amazing and I understand why I did it. The back of the island bar is flat.....less optimal than the uppers for distressing. Choices.
I'm drinking coffee this morning and wondering how wise it is, bc I'm pretty numb today. Maybe I'll stay numb, for a while, if I don't finish this warm and comforting brew
Last night I drove trash to the transfer station, bc today it's not open. There was freezer trash that needed to go. Driving in the pitch black, with only one wiper working in the rain, bc it was important ......seemed important at the time, to put DD's bf to work washing my windshield instead of standing around munching Cheetos with the girls when we fled WNC that Sunday. When the water stopped working.
The truth is.....I never liked him AND he also doesn't know how to check and fill tires. I replaced a missing valve cap and every tire was low, to different degrees. The important part was....DD22 understand how incompetent he is, on top of his other faults, which are apparent and many. Ya, he's cute and ever so male, but Lord, was that ever enough? I guess it was.
Things are ok at the lake. The beds are all clean and will be made today. The showers all pristine and dry, so no growing crud. That's how be bathrooms stay clean, ime. One squeegees and drys tubs and showers....at least the last to use it. Not everyone feels obligated, mind you. Then it's more work to make pristine ....again. If I sound frustrated, I'm hovering at the edge, only. And it's ok, bc it's small stuff......and I know this.
I feel like Suron's eye.....above, looking out for trouble, but also opportunity. I don't want anyone hunting the property, but the very first contractor, who looks in and is helpful. This makes sense to me, plus he doesn't hunt while we're here. I can't say that about "the others." That's another layer of worry, for myself, family and guests, I'm done putting up with..... bc something inside will pop and will I continue allowing others to push till I pop? I don't think so.
I have storm sounds playing loudly. No tv. No news or background movie interference right now. I dread cleaning floors, bc.....making "pristine,"over so many sf is impossible and there's the vertigo, which is better now, but still with me. I screw my face up when it hits.....I have to stop doing that.....it doesn't help.
:: breathing::.
::thinking about filling bird feeder::.
::finishing warm coffee::.
Lighter
Twoapenny:
I hope the vertigo improves, Lighter, it's a horrible feeling. You sound very busy, as always. Is there any sign of 'normal' being any closer now, or is everything still so much chaos? x
lighter:
Tupp: I'm afraid there's a new normal, and least for a while. The docs say no curing vertigo, but it's "treatable."
I'm adjusting. Moving picture wires on art, opposed to moving nails on a tall ladder....that sort of thing. Thinking about climbing tall ladder instead of climbing it😭
The hardest thing now, isn't the tons of leaves I need to blow or the tree parts I need to move to the street or the lake cleaning.... it's my gurls' mental health and supporting them right now..... without doing everything for them. Just being there.... listening and attuning.....cooking nutritionally balanced foods bc it's been a junkfood fest for a few days, all around.
DD22 and I sang and danced our way through Asian market and Ingles run....forgot water. Again. She found a tick on her shirt then plucked an attached tick from my neck. This is a sign to stay out of the forest where a dead raccoon was reported mid trail and I have to negotiate over and under many fallen trees....the ticks catch us, moving slow.
::putting pug goggles in pug drawer::.
Now I'm itchy, but all the snow pea leaves are clean.
Lighter
Twoapenny:
So much to juggle, Lighter, and yes, the mental health balance is always a difficult one. As is a new 'normal', so hard to adjust to, especially as I guess the new normal is not where everyone wants (needs) to be. Healthy meals, yes, so important, and so much harder to do during stressful times than pizza. Personally don't think anything in the world comforts as much as pizza dough and melted cheese, for some reason. Crossing fingers things settle and everything becomes more manageable xx
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