Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
The Lake House
lighter:
--- Quote from: Hopalong on May 30, 2021, 12:53:40 PM ---(((((Lighter))))
This rang cathedral bells for me:
--- Quote ---I'm overtly sympathetic. I see that now.
--- End quote ---
I'm thinking as you continue to heal and soothe yourself, calmly and kindly, you're going to be able to tune into your own energies in encounters. NOT just "fight or flight" but the subtler stuff, which could be just two questions in the moment:
How much tenderness and accomodating and helping vibe am I emitting?
What does it feel like to try holding my goodwill more privately?
Reminds me of riding, how learning to use bit and reins and heels less, ultimately resulted in more -- peaceful cooperation between me and horse.
Ta da! Men are just horses. That helps (me). LOL.
hugs
Hops
--- End quote ---
Thanks for that, Hops. The quoted part of your post really struck home with regard to what I can do, going forward, to change the responses I'd like to limit from men.... people in general, really.
This new contractor expects and looks forward to my input, opinions and sharing of information about health and self care. His wife eats in a prescriptive manner, sees a personal trainer who guides her and so he's already pretty familiar with it.
I will say this..... one day he brought his ss to the job. He seemed a little confused and maybe dissapointed....... I was trying to limit contact, just in case he was the type to lose his mind, but had already chatted him up about things we had in common, etc.
During lunch I ran and grabbed my book PAIN FREE and gave them that copy bc they were talking about their back pain, spine injuries, chiro appointments.
The contractor looked at his ss and happily said.... "See! I TOLD YOU!"
I'm not sure just what he said about me, but I think it was nice.
Lighter
lighter:
OK. We're adding a bathroom and it's likely going to be my only chance to add a tub to the main floor.
The bathroom is oddly shaped..... it would be difficult to do this.
It would make more sense to put in a larger shower and tile it, rather than put in a smaller tub shower unit..... 49x32 inches.
The floor of the tub is 19" x 49"x16" soaking depth. I'd try to put in a 54" long tub, but I can't find any worth paying and waiting for.
If I put in the 57"x32" tiled shower, I won't have room in the bathroom for a tub unless I use a freestanding tub enclosed in the shower unit OR use the drop in tub I already mentioned.
I feasibly have anough space in the bedroom to put a tub in front of the window there.... maybe a 55"x28"x15"soaking depth, freestanding tub installed with a minimum of 6" between it and the wall..... anything it's close to.
It's tight. It's precise work. I'M IN NC, not GA where I can SEE the room. I'm frustrated.
Lighter
lighter:
A local realtor came to the lake house not long ago. She said a tub is good for families, esp ones with small children. People want at least one tub in a house, generally.
If my brother has his way, there would be big tiled showers only throughout the house..... the bigger the better. They certainly look sleek an modern, IMO.
I'm a tub baby. My niece is a tub baby. My BIL is a tub baby. There has to be at least 1 good soaking tub in the house. Niece and I will be wrestling for it, then end up sharing. We might put a clawfoot tub outside for soaks.
This is making me tired.
To bed.
::sending you good vibes for house hunting::.
Thanks for all your input, CB.
Lighter
sKePTiKal:
Lighter - Hol had a deep concrete tub built for the hut. I've also seen created tile tubs, too. For a solution, maybe.
lighter:
As contractor and I maki g final decision on tub, the Bee cut through a water line....he was supposed to be cutting out sheetrock only....went too deep.
Contractor reminded me....of me. My response to Bee's mistake. The frustration of knowing too much autonomy was handed to Bee. Bee has limitations....requires supervision.....truly, like supervising a child. The fact Bee is so hardworking and earnest means he jumps in without thinking it through.
Contractor speaking with lots of detail now. Exact instructions for Bee to fol
They're talking about it now. Contractor teaching.....huffing hard from running up and down long stairs, but calm and relaxed again.
Bee just turned 48, so it's easy to assume he's comprehending the scope of a task something when he nods and assures he has it in hand.
The water line was right against the stud. Bee didn't make a huge mistake....just a lack of experience.
Lighter
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