Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
The Lake House
lighter:
After the contractor's GP TOLD him all his organs were working properly.....
after failing to improve his high Blood Pressure problem WITH MEDS ONLY.....
the GP fially sent contracctor to the heart specialist and many weeks later an ultrasound found multiple blocks in C's heart, which have been fingered as the ONLY problems, which is highly unlikely, IMO and I was right about the drugs sans diagnostic tests being wrong so l'm going to assume I'm right about other organs in D's system being involved. I guess the bean counters decide who gets what and drugs seem to always always win out these days, even if they're likely to do more harm than good. It is what it is.
So...... as disgusted as I am I have to just put that down for right now and do the "wait and see what this and that and the other drugs DO" to the contractor while precious weeks go by without more diagnostic testing to inform a functional treatment plan.
Non functional, sick model healthcare is the standard of practice. It's official. Almost makes me nostagic for the "lets just cut into the patient and see how that goes, even though it's obvious tragedy is the ONLY outcome" model I was disgusted by 25 years ago.
Shameful. We're sheep. It is what it is.
In the meantime, a friend in Ill is struggling with a failed back surgery AND uncontrollable bleeding of the female variety the doc she just saw feels can go without care. I guess lettig women bleed out is a "standard practice" we have to live with and do.
On the upside, she's so miserable she's been eating prescriptively, as Amber says. I'm so ovewhelmed by her suffering I can barely think. She can't sleep or stand or think........ I'm looking at flights and plotting driving routes........ right now it feels like I'd be KING F'n KONG on the scene and I'm not sure I wouldn't go to jail. Doctors tend to be touchy, defensive, vengenful creatures when they almost kill people you love and you call them on it, IME. I'm gessing they're worse when they actually kill patients.
Standard of care....... bean counters deciding who gets what. Who dies. Who lives.
Wer'e sheep and we better have an advocate in this sick care system, or else.
Oh dear.....
I am SO MUCH like my father, but I already knew that.
I've had to let the friend in Atlanta go.... release her with love as all efforts to "help" her did not help. She's just had a lumpectomy and they took a lot of her breast. Her oldest son was there and Im hoping she goes to live with him in Ohio since her rat bastard ex husband died recently and can no longer poison her youngest autistic son against her...... this seemed to be the main problem with youngest going to live with oldest son. Rat bastard ex died of Covid, btw. Unvaxed and unapologetic about refusing to mask up.
I really do hope friend and youngeest son DO go as oldest ds eats well, is active and teaches the autistic son SO many things....... about everything, including skills and self care. She needs support and care and an advocate. She truly does.
Had to blather on about that and get it off my chest as it's my COW...... crisis of the week yanking me around in my mindfulness saddle, but not yanking me OFF.
And part of staying seated is accepance of the things I cannot change. Just..... it is what it is.... let it be what it's going to be.
I will say I don't expect my contractor to be back on the job when the doc says he will, bc....... the doc SAID it. I DO expect other problems to be part of the root of his problems...... BP and clogged heart are symptoms, but heart doc sees only heart problems and cares nothing about WHY the heart is clogged. It is what it is. By the time the contractor's health continues declining, despite standard of care sick care pactices, I only hope he's healthy enough to get to 2 or 3 more specialists to discover the true root of the problem and perhaps ask the bean counters IF THEY CAN TREATthe causes and not just prescribe meds for the symptoms, wow this is really making me angry.
The sky is blue, the grass is green.
::breathing::.
Food is medicine.
Eating more whole food is healthy..... dieting is not.
Giving the body what it needs, in the moment is functional medicine. Keeping the body in balance, before disease progresses, is functional medicine.
Waiting till the organs are failing and diseased IS standard practice...... telling patients everything is "fine" when no real tests have been run and it's OBVIOUSLY false is..... standard sick model healthcare. Grr.
The sky is blue, the grass is green.
Lighter
sKePTiKal:
Right there with ya Lighter. I've been walking beside B, as he tries to navigate this system for almost 6 years now; trying to give him support, hope, letting him blow off steam and then pick a path forward. I feel kinda the same way. Kinda, because I know there are still docs that care about the patient; that care about doing the best they can. They are getting RARE.
Old ways: healers, herbalists, medics, etc are probably going to become more important going forward. Even though they don't have access to any of the old generic drugs even - that were effective way before the fashion in pharma went to the biologic and dna "remodeling" solutions -- which all list death and/or cancer as a side effect.
I'm not sure when it happened, but "do no harm" doesn't seem part of what is taught in medical schools anymore.
lighter:
I know you understand, Amber. As does B who remains patient and reasonable beyond all comprehension, imo.
Lighter
lighter:
My brother phoned on Christmas day and was just lovely. Upbeat, happy and excited and it the distressed mantels, kitchen island and large cart.... anticipating the bulk of cabinets looking anything close to the cart....just so great and I noticed the backlash of resentful reactivity popping up from past unfair judgments and criticisms he'd leveled at me and my character as a very difficult person.....the very worst person to organize and handle the island renovation. Just....crazy opposite the truth, rendering me speechless and those emojis ruins just wedged in my limbic system....and I'm gonna do something about that so his compliments and praise are lightness and pleasure, only. Not heat and reactivity.
Lighter
Hopalong:
It's such a shame how much extra emotional construction and labor women undertake in this culture so that fragile, entitled males don't need to introspect.
Bravo to you for your own insight, Lighter. But don't feel you have to train yourself not to react to what's unkind. Maybe you don't want to process your reactions in front of or with your brother (my guess is pointless) -- but don't feel you are not allowed to feel anything about it other than Buddha things.
I do hope that self-calming is helpful in the moment, but hope you don't judge yourself for NOT LIKING IT.
I don't like being taken for granted or underemined or casually devalued or shamed by men either. Doesn't happen often but it awakens the fem-dragon. She just has to get out sometimes. No point in stewing in anger either, but a flash of resentment's understandable.
Bear in mind I'm resonating maybe too much, because my brother was epically unfair.
hugs
Hops
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