Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
The Lake House
Hopalong:
PS My neighbor got so unguarded and cozy with her contractor (because she was lonely) that he ripped her off for tens of thousands, did crappy work and got away with it.
I like to connect with people too, including workers I hire, but more carefully now. No need to go all lady of the manor, but it helps me to regard these as professional and not personal relationships. I remember the chemistry w/landscaper that went weird (real) all of a sudden. We recovered and are still friendLY, but not friends.
It'd be harder to establish with caregivers alone with your parent. It really is an intimate role, but I'll need to remember if I'm someday the one being helped, to keep mentioning our agreement, expectations, clarifying things, etc. Plus, draw it all up as specifically as possible when they first start. Vibes often go south if it's unclear.
lighter:
The "caregiver"was a maid who stole 80K dollars from my Grandfather.
This was after my father became disabled.
Once I confonted the caregiver, she got defensive, admitted to the theft, then went to my father where she began tormenting him with leaving him...... and I could see the fear in his eyes. She meant for that fear to be there. I wasn't too happy at her for either of those actions, but Dad wanted her, no matter how much she stole, so I shut up and continued to support the mission, which I did until my father's death.
Father died before caretaker's DD's family arrived, btw, so there was no bond there.
Once they were in Dad's home, they were rude, spoke about us behind our backs an basically made it too awkward to visit the house at all in 3 years. Sometimes I'd go, but basically the house was a filthy mess with cockroaches when they left without cleaning. Oh.... the dog pee carpet..... ::head knocked back:: it wasn't good, but they lived for free, actually made money as the hospital treating their son paid them "rent and utilities" even though they never had to pay it..... so they were in a pretty good position to purchase a home and that became the mission.
Brother's gf was a go gettter realtor and found the house, lined up the loan and somehow got the SonIL to say the right words to the banker to force it through. It wasn't easy, then they planned a picnic on the day WE MOvED THEM into their new home. I'd say it was poor planning, but I think it was how the DD wanted it to go. Whatever, the mission was going forward and we got the job done. It was annoying. Nothing more.
They're in a little brick home, with a basement, fenced in backyard with an extra lot and they're a minutes drive from the center of town..... near schools, work and Bob's your uncle. Done and dusted.
I feel really good about that and it's my intention to keep the good feelings flowing.
My brother considers caretaker to be grandmother to his children. My sister and i don't share those sentiments. Caretaker has back stabbed me to the point she's not safe to be near, even though she can't harm me any longer. She would have and tried. That's over.
lighter:
It's been 6 months since this thread was updated. Lots got done over the last 2 weeks.....
the sheetrock repair in the new bedroom was greatly improved, with some work still required.
The closet in that room got primed, painted and light installed.... looks great.
It's been determined the female contractor won't be doing the LVP on that space or the master bathroom, won't be cutting down the vanity and installing it and won't be painting the sun room ceiling, bc self care. I get it.
What's left.... plumbing issue, installing barn door and closet doors. Grouting master bathroom,which is half tile.
On my list.....I distressed the back of the master door and the corner cabinet next to the distressed fire place mantles....looks really good.
Will distress or paint the master bathroom solid oak vanity, which will look amazing...... it's suffered much water damage, so will end up looking more like old barn wood, than not. I've figured out how to do one pass with the black/brown glaze and get just what I want. Will go fast.
Almost allt he walls are taped off upstairs so I can do a quick pass on the trim and oak doors.... to remove the last of the 80's vibe.
For better or worse,we laid down many different rugs in the main LR area upstairs.... they fit pretty well,but there's one long area with a curve I need to have something made to fit, where the brick curves around at kitchen's edge. The rugs are covering oil painted sub flooring.
The kitchen looks amazing...need to update the backsplash...the counters are white corian. My sister spent hours and hours emtying cabinets and paring down items for guests to use. The family stuff got moved to the out building. Mostly.
BTW, any ideas what to do with boxes of Square Dancing records,with calls? Or the Cowboy country music? Of the Polkas? I can feel the joy in them,whenhandling the boxes. Right now, they're in the outbuilding too.
Need bathroom shower doors ordered and installed....will do stationary panels.....if I can. There's enough room to do that IF I have a hole added for reaching through to turn water on in the master bath.
Leaving the downstairs bathrooms alone means this should go pretty quickly. If I didn't say, my contractor with the high BP said his new meds having him feeling very good...... he wants to come back. Betweenhim and the female contractor, surely we can get this thing off the ground?
My brother had the decks sprayed with a brown stain.... it's perfect. I can't say how right he was about that color. I thought the gray would be better,bc of the brick grout and grey siding,but I was way off. Brother wants to paint the brick next....not sure about adding more upkeep. I'm sure it would update the appearance.
The yard is a meadow, full of flowers and grass gone to seed. I plan to put out signs saying we're feeding the bees..... I hope guests see it that way. I don't think regular mowing is in the cards.
As for the Airbnb site.....I have yet to re name the bedrooms. I think local trees.... perhaps some birds. Trees upstairs, birds below?
That's my update.
Lighter
lighter:
What a strange weekend..... went to the Lake house and my friend with the foot injury spent the night. The last time I saw her she was trying to walk without a big limp. THIS visit she and I were carrying loads to the dumpster, mounting a very tall ladder, handling tools an moving the project forward.... her SIL and brother put in a heavy barn door... it looks great!
Took a load to Goodwill and gave the SIL 3 "court" dresses I hope to never need again. I'm just sorry the SIL has many court dates in her future regaarding access to a beloved Grandchild she's cut off from. Such hearthbreak and the Courts just threw out her criimal case against a neigbor who beat her, requiring a trip to the ER. When it rains, it pours.
Lighter
Hopalong:
For me, your lake and island posts are like "reading" HGTV, Lighter.
I got nothin' but am happy for how much you enjoy it.
hugs
Hops
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