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2021 Farm Log

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Meh:
Amber,

Do look into the probiotics, it's not some new-age nonsense. It's an effort to change the bacterial ecosystem in the body.

Good luck.

Twoapenny:
I'm so sorry that Buck is unwell again, Skep, and even sorrier that he's still dealing with this mad admin situation?!  Crazy stuff.  We get similar situations where everyone's tied up in red tape and it all takes so long that by the time it's dealt with the original tests are out of date and you have to start again.  Crazy.  I hope some of the natural/alternatives suggested might do something useful (if only by making him feel like he's doing something.  It must drive him nuts).

I hear you on the sense of ennui that's all pervading at the moment.  I'm finding the lack of change of pace difficult to manage.  My diary for this time last year has too much in it - daily activities, paperwork deadlines to meet, friends coming to stay, a big birthday thing for son to organise.  But this year has one health related appointment for Feb and one for March, and nothing else at all.  We've got plenty to do at home and I'm walking, doing yoga etc, but without any sense of deadline for getting things done I'm struggling to motivate myself sometimes (and I could set my own deadlines but as there's no consequence to not tidying that cupboard out today it doesn't really work that well for me).  I hope Hol and the vehicle are alright after the skidding incident.  So easy to lose control in icy conditions (we very nearly rolled completely over in a van once and only stopped because the road was so narrow that the van got stuck sideways on and rocked back to right itself.  That was an interesting morning lol).  It will be nice to get back to a decent level of functioning, even if it isn't 'normal' xx

sKePTiKal:
You know what they say - too much of anything can be bad. That's how I feel rolling around to a year-anniversary on this isolation situation. It may have kept US healthy; but the virus still was widespread - unless a lot of those cases were false positives. At this point, I'm guessing it'll be 10 years before statisticians will either admit they don't have good data or the "real" numbers are released. I still picked a garden-variety daycare virus at either the grocery store - masks still required; still washing my hands after that visit; or the DMV - which is appt only now, and even tighter restrictions. Still washing my hands on the first opportunity back in the house.

Because of the places I do chat about different things online, I'm not as desperate to just sit and talk with a real live human being as Hol is. Ironically, she lives with her fella - and I talk more to Buck every day than she talks to S. It's not that he's some bad person - he is simply so unavailable to her and wants it that way - that's she left dangling. This has always been a problem for her, since she was little. Always preferred a small pack of kids to do things with, be with, talk to. She seemed to have more trouble staying focused on her own solitary pursuits than most. So when she makes quilts, it all happens in a very short amount of time. Single-minded purpose, get it done - move on. That's just her way.

I'll have to remind her this is one of her goals. But that still doesn't change the painful awareness of the limbo we find ourselves in. Too soon to do anything outside - the snow might finally melt enough for her to be able to get the pontiac out, and hopefully mud season holds off - then she can go to town to visit local friends. Her city friends are meeting for a vacation in Mexico. She was invited and feels torn between just up & leaving... but S's dog, is having hip pain issues and she just won't leave them here to go "play" - even though that's exactly what she needs to do. There are also the virus issues when flying, going out of the country too. With testing centers closing or changing to vaccine centers... she's not comfortable she won't get caught in a catch-22.

I've been breaking up my screen time, with washing and resealing kitchen cupboards. LOLOL. If I get motivated, I'll sand and poly the range counter - with it's breakfast bar. Then I won't have THAT weighing on me when the weather is nicer.

Helga will get towed to her local mechanic, as soon as it's possible to get a rollback in here. Looks like bumper, grille, radiator - and possibly the battery. She couldn't have hit that tree more dead center if she had a hood ornament. Good thing she did hit the tree - there's natural pond just beyond it. Much worse situation.

This kind of thing, is just "life with Holly". I showed Buck the pics and he said he thought I told him she wrecked it - that this much damage wouldn't get her any off-road 4x4 credibility. LOLOL. This rash/infection moving to his skin is more annoying to him - and since he's so careful about spreading it, more work - than it is he feels ill, this time. Things ARE starting to break loose. Once he stopped playing by the rules and resumed his angry ex-marine demeanor things started ticking right along again. He didn't WANT to do this, mind you - but no one was paying attention to him while he was being polite, patient, and following all the rules and not challenging all the excuses.

I have gotten him two different creams to put on his legs - one is a slilver-infused skin cream (his bandages were silver-coated the last two times) and the other is a topical version of cryptolepis - which he also takes internally throughout the day, a bit of tincture in a cup of tea... along with a few drops of bidens & sida. The 3 together are more effective on these antibiotic resistent bacteria.

Yesterday, they FINALLY did a biopsy to find out just which bacteria, for sure - instead of just, "well this looks like..." - which one he actually has, so an appropriate AB can be used to clear it. Today is the scan on his spine... in a couple weeks he has his VA appt; first with his new status - a full 6 months after putting in his paperwork to retire. 

My life realm's it seems - ALL of them - are equally in limbo and waiting. So, I've been patient up till now I feel. TRIED very hard to simply pursue my life in the meantime instead of allowing myself to go into 'suspended animation' till something started to change. I tried not to go bonkers during that time too. And my energy is shifting now - I'm gonna DO something, ANYTHING at all, because I'm totally tired of limbo.

I think spring fever has hit.  :D

sKePTiKal:
This movie "Land" is coming out soon. Robin Wright worked with Hol on House of Cards... and now she's directing. I watched the trailer, and I think it might help explain some of what my journey/project is about here on the farm. Granted - a lot of things are idealized/romanticized that are just plain hard work and patience. But I sense there are more layers to this movie - subtle things - that will get conveyed in it and it won't be just a superficial idea of what the experiences are like.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOw20FDNnHA

Hopalong:
I'm in for that movie, Amber! How exciting. Love Robin Wright but I'd watch that story with anybody decent starring.

About statisticians...I think it's likely many will have good data and most have so far been sharing what they can figure out as best they can. Data are facts, but only as good as their source and reach. It's important they not present conclusions that aren't conclusive though, AND many people overlook the expressed caveats.

I hear you on that squirrel chewing through cage of confinement feeling. It's lucky you have the space, the physicality, and the executive organization to keep on going through this. I'm not surprised it's getting to you, m'dear, but have total faith that you won't wig out over it. You really are astonishingly strong.

IF BUCK COULD BE WITH YOU, how much different this chapter would be! I hope his miseries will soon be ameliorated by the right AB, and by his right to get care elsewhere. Damn. It's unbelievable what he and you have been through to get him help that is --or hopefully will be--effective.

As to Hol, she's got a lifetime to figure herself out. Did she get/continue therapy, do you know?

hugs
Hops

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