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Hello from Seastorm

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Hopalong:
((((((((((((((SEA)))))))))))))))

Missed you a lot!

Even though you're in the middle of deep effort and some stress, I salute and celebrate you. I'm so glad you're making a change. Personally, I'm not worried about your Nex being in the same city. I've seen your strength. And I think you know a boundary when you set one. (Just my quick take.)

I'll be on tenterhooks until your auction is done, and how exciting that Amber and Hol might be outlets for some of the stuff you're ready to let go! That made me smile.

The only possibly-practical thought I had, fwiw, is if the auction is helpful and makes you ready, could you go ahead and purchase the space you like in the city, and rent it out until you're ready to move? If it's nice, there could be executive transition services that might be interested....I don't know what they're all called but for universities and businesses, attractive but simply-furnished apartments or houses are kept on a roster for temporary faculty or executives.

You don't enjoy computer stuff but if your adult child does, you could ask for a little research on that? OR, it's very possible that'd be too complicated an approach. A good realtor could probably easily set you up with a similar arrangement to rent out your new place, even on a six-month lease. Just in case you'd like to nab your new place now.

BIG hugs and keep updating us!

Hops

seastorm:
Boy! am i ever glad I wrote that huge description of the inward and outward chaos. I felt very exposed and thought I was way to crazy for you all.   Of course Im not too crazy.

Your comments are gentle and right on the mark. It helped to write it out to people I trust. I know enough without digging any deeper. Denial crept back in and thought it was ALL my fault. Well, digging into my past for a solid gold version of the truth was ....... can't find a word.... chaos, heartshredding, scary etc. The thing is that I do know enough already. I can trust myself. It was as bad as I sensed it was without knowing every single detail and getting a polaroid of the pain. Wow. I stirred up some trouble.  I phoned my ex and he immediately triangulated or at least his wife did with my daughter who in turn was very upset with me.  She heard from the step mom that I am just after money. All I did was leave a message that I wanted to talk to ex. I wanted to see if we could give the gift of our getting along to our daughter. Well definitely no to that.
Skeptical:  I was not happy with my ex. We were together for 12 years and I was not happy . Happy didn't seem to matter. All that mattered was that he loved me. So I tried everything.But it didn't work and only got worse.Yes, I was only existing. Doing lots of art and crafts and gardening and going on the fishboat. Love the ocean. Very good questions you asked. Thank you.

As for the loom. It is a nice little 28 inch table loom and easy to use. Four harness. You can have it for the cost of shipping which would be about  125 dollars. I have a drum carder for carding raw wool too. Never used it.

Stinkerbell is a great name for a cat. Such big lessons from some cats.One lesson is don't give up on the cat.

Hops , So glad you are there. I salute you back. Yes there is something in the air about change for me. I read Pema Chodron and she is all for staying with the scary feelings  and not running around trying to get grounded.  I think you are right about not worrying about my ex. I think it is good for me to realize how little power he has over me. Probably the problem started in my childhook whoops I mean childhood.

Something moved in my psyche and today I mobilized and got out of bed and started working. My priority was to get my iphone going and learn how to use it. I am getting lots of referrals to do art therapy with Native childrenl and I have to do financial things on the phone. I hired someone lovely who is helping me. I even ran into a woman who asked me if I was Bev ross the counsellor and she told me her name.  I worked with her for a year and she is about 22 now. Wow. I asked the universe to give me an answer about what I should be doing. Next thing ya know I got five referrals for working with children doing art therapy.  What a day. I have three kimonos to my helper and she had an ooh la la moment with the silk kimonos, dragons and silk etc.
I honestly don[t know what I am going to do. First I have to take pictures on Iphone of Japanese Ningyo dolls and kimonosl. If I get the clients and figure out the paper work I can do it. They are having a hard time at their end figuring it out  too.
I want to see the children one on one so have to be careful and safety conscious.
thankyou for listening. My brain had a log jam in it and sharing with you helped a lot.  telling my story is not au courent  with therapeutic practice but it really helped.

No more digging in the past with people I know now are not telling a version of that truth but more a version of how they haven't changed much in all these decades.
Helping others is a balm for the sea sick soul. I will be happy to work with kids. They are such vivid artists and truth tellers. I won't try to change their parents and they are sooooo much of the problem. Now  I know better. Just keep the connection with the child.

It is too bad that people think the only really valuable relationship is with a man or a woman. OR an animal. Maybe all that needs to change somehow. Communities of friends with things in common would be nice.  Loneliness really twists me up.  If anyone feels lonely I offer them compassion and understanding and encourage them to love themselves way more and connect with a higher power.

Bye for now, Standing by

Seastorm

Hopalong:
I loooooooove the idea of you doing art therapy with children, Sea.

Magical. Perfect. True to you. Fulfilling.

Lord that'd be perfect. I hope it grows.

Meanwhile, so much support. Transitions are standing in the wind and trusting it to blow something good, along with ducking the debris.

Don't be gone TOO long!

hugs
Hops

sKePTiKal:
The loom sounds about right for me to get started on Seastorm - and won't take up that much space if I don't get addicted to the lovely relaxing, repetitve motion of it. I like it's wide enough to do bigger sections of fabric. I've developed a mild interest in historic clothing - think Viking era - and have been pretty disappointed at the diminishing quality of fabric in general lately. Most of what my daughter does, sewing wise, involves repurposing old clothing/cloth. She might be interested in some kimonos for that purpose... but she generally works with quirky patterns & garish colors. I'll mention them to her and see if there's a spark. She makes quilt images from the old clothing. Sometimes graphic; mostly pictoral though.

If you'll PM me the particulars, for payment, I'll take the loom off your hands and list. That cost for shipping seems a bit optimistic to me, though. Maybe not. Sometimes weight impacts the costs.

I think most of my "art" was really art therapy for me. It was a way to "say" the things I didn't dare speak out loud. If anyone had paid attention to the images, the "unspoken" content would've been obvious. I did have one prof that got it, though.  ;)  I think this will be a rewarding occupation for you.

Transitions ... are like reincarnation for me. I stay me, but all the circumstances in life can change... and I can adapt to them. I've been through 5-6 major ones already.

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