Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
DD18 seeing nutritional response practitioner (NRP)
lighter:
CB, thank you for your response. I feel validated and understood. Super grateful.
Hops, I spoke to my T this morning and have more clarity around what's mine to solve and what's not.
I've been carrying a lot and I'm still wrapping my head around parenting adults v children.
The girls are trying to do the same with reatd to embracing 100% responsibility for themselves.
When in doubt, I'm to dismiss the past and decide what's best for everyone in the present moment.
It's a variation of getting my nose off a Pebble.... to shift into expansive right brain choices.
About this orthorexia you speak of.....it's really sad....deeply....prifoundly sad one has to spend so much time learning to read food labels designed to trick and mislead......to hook everyone on foods jacked up with chemicals, additives and sugar for the sole purpose of exciting our brains so the population becomes addicted to inflammatory food like stuff. I'm hesitant to write foods, bc so much if it is harming the public's health while most docs play stupid, or truly are ignorant.
The idea of excluding so many food groups/chemicals/sugar IS viewed as a sickness.
If I hadn't felt, looked and functioned so much better without g/s/d I would have a difficult time believing/choosing/knowing these choices lead away from brain fog, obesity and havoc mit hormones.
It's huge, but it's hard, bc it's not normal to really pare down to nutritionally dense foods sans the monkeys with additives.
I know I look unhinged with food right now. It's really hard to give up all the foods I'm addicted to and choose my health 4 or 5 x a day.
It makesother people uncomfortable when they're aware I'm doing it.
So, ya.....in this culture I have orthorexia. What I don't have is a med cabinet with Rx's. If I have to choose, I have to choose health over food addictions and that's exactly what it feels like....breaking addictions.
At least I'm aware of my choices and likely consequences. IME Wester docs have failed us miserably. I guess they're failing themselves too. How can we expect them to do better when they aren't informed either.
I guess I'm not ready to stop ranting on the topic yet.
Still struggling. And really hungry at the moment.
Thanks for the article, Hops. Interesting rabbit hole. Made me think of me too!
Lighter
Hopalong:
Rant away, Lighter! This culture deserves it.
I'm also disgusted by all the processed, chemicalized, nutrient-depleted .... errr... THINGS in packages that get disguised as food. When I worked at Rodale one of the first things they told us was, avoid things that come in boxes or bags (except brown rice). Or at least, READ the labels on the boxes, cans or bags. Then buy stuff dried.
Took a while but, like you, I finally twigged to the simplicity of healthy food.
I really liked what you said a while back about healthy food not exciting your taste buds overmuch. I get that. It's like packaged/processed/preserved foods have become TV for the mouth. Most of what we get if we respond to the marketing is sugar (soap operas), salt (violence and/or fake wrestling) and fat ("news"). No PBS....(well, except THEIR food shows are appetizing!).
M is entirely and completely about food satisfying intense mouth cravings, little more. He does wind up cooking fairly healthful food because of the Costa Rican influence, but considers regarding food mostly as about fuel/health over hedonism/partaaaay as failure of the imagination. (I think not imagining the health consequences realistically is a different failure.)
I hear you and I understand.
hugs
Hops
Twoapenny:
Lighter I was just reading your post (a few back now) about the court stuff, MIL, caring for both your girls, both parents and dealing with step-parents etc - and it made my blood run cold. There is so much similarity between what your MIL did and what my mum did and it's the cold hate that I think I found so hard to deal with. Why? So much hatred toward someone that you target their kids, create years of stress and tension, spend all that money! My God, the cost as well, none of it makes sense, plus they miss out on a relationship with their grandkids - and for what? To start a fight that they can't win, because I do think the truth comes out eventually, as frustrating as it is to be called a liar over and again when you speak it.
I know I have found most people just can't believe a grandma can behave in those ways. I think firstly because she's female (unusual for women; I think if it was an abusive husband people find that easier to get their heads around?). And also because they're older ladies, sweet, kind, gentle, knowledgeable. I know many people just didn't believe (still don't) all the things my mum has done over the years. It's a hard battle to break through. Makes sense that food is tangled up in so many ways now - bad memories, withdrawal (the chemicals are bad but they feel good; that's hard). All the extra work and I guess more frustration now because the girls are adults so you can't just put their lunch in front of them and that's what they have. Own choices to make. It's hard. But I hope it gets easier and I hope you are being kind to yourself when it's tough or if you crack and allow yourself something you shouldn't. I hope it all gets easier now xx xx xx
PS MIL is an arsehole! Lol xx
sKePTiKal:
Lighter - you see why my garden is such a priority for me?
I'm fortunate to have had mostly good food influences in my life - including Twiggy's neighbor who shared the early Rodale stuff with me. My mom and Mike were the worst, diet wise. And that influence does corrupt - subtly - through "sharing" in a relationship.
I got some strange looks one time when I ordered (it was on the menu) and then ATE, a whole head of broccoli at a restaurant one time. It was really delish and I'd been starved for a simple prep of my fav vegemal. Ex#2 and I were planting, and eating organic before the magazine went yuppie in the 90s. He came from a Rudolf Steiner background, and some of the earliest organic/permaculture pioneers in the UK.
So, my philosophy is that food isn't just fuel or nutrition - it's medicine. And that led into the ongoing research into medicinal herbs. I have a hard time understanding that people would be so judgemental as to consider concern over one's food an eating disorder. In my world, even though the aspects vary a good bit, most people are looking for the best cleanest food, simply prepared, they can find.
OH.... I'm sure you already know... recipes from different cuisines can give your tastebuds that rush of intense flavor that satisfies cravings.
lighter:
Amber:
I have 3 friends eating mostly clean g/s/d free. It's a relief to make plans with them, bc food is just food.
Sometimes I think the people resisting healthy food the most feel overwhelmed and maybe freaked out...a bit frightened food might BE as im0ortant as I'm treating it now.
Esp the people who eat fast food all the time, fed it to their children all their lives and are super busy....too busy to really stop, do the research and find other ways to eat, bc it IS difficult if you're starting from scratch.
I fed my girls organic baby food and breast milk. No juice. Lots if cow milk and water and I thought I was doing their little bodies goid as oldest began her love affair with cheese and rich, thick organic milk, which I love too, as my mother did.
I didn't understand eating popcorn and corn chips is like eating skittles. I can see it in my body after eating corn chips with wild abandon for a couple years.
Putting down all the foods creating inflammation, while feeding my body food as medicine means I eat more food and the inflammation melts off fast, like alchemy. It's not a diet, Darn it. It's what humans are meant to eat. I should eat this way for life and will try, but it feels like walking through a carnival, with a'll the exciting foods they offer, then choosing a bagged lunch of roast chicken, raw almonds, a handful of spinach and squirt of lime over and over again.
The reality isn't that austere, of coarse. I made Vietnamese Pork twice this week and served it over yummy salad of lettuce, cucumber, carrot, cilantro, basil and peanuts dressed with fish sauce, Stevia, lime juice and water, so good. I just had a ham roll up with spinach, jalapeno, tomatoes topped with a gooey egg....I feel it was enough. I'm satisfied.....for now.
Last night I woke up and ate half a yam. Went back for an entire mashed with ghee, Stevia, vanilla and cinnamon, btw. Later, maybe 1am. I ate a little package of gf crackers..... I was not thinking. I was reactive and felt sick afterwards, of course.
Food is medicine in my life. It could be medicine for DD20. She knows this, btw, but there's compulsion and dependence on food as comfort keeping her mired. I see her try. I see her start to make changes then get dragged back down again.
My brain knows and likes how junkfood tastes and feels....it feels like giving up an addiction, honestly. Easier when I'm feeling goid. Harder when I'm struggling, sick or reactive. I fight off compulsions almost daily....mostly I'm winning, but mostly doesn't seem to be good enough to restore health, ime.
My brain wants to bargain and find substitute carnival foods to ding all the bells and light up my mother board.
You're absolutely right about making interesting foods...Thai and Korean, Indian, Japanese.....sometimes everything gets an egg on top, but there's many steps involved. Drop the ball once, at any stage and things can go sideways easy, ime. Particularly if one isn't so busy they lack all time and opportunity.
Another reason eating pristine was easier in 2013....I was stuck in high or flight mode with no access to creative problem solving skills. It was survival....do or die, and yes I had control over what the girls are. I had tunnel vision.....there was no opportunity to yearn or hope. Only survival.
I see how I, now, let myself get frantic and frustrated with food. Other times I just take a big breath and focus on what I can do, then get busy doing it.
Food is medicine. I believe you. I've seen it with my own eyes....been restored by it. Torn myself down with careless choices.
Why is it so hard to consistently ignore the Carny food?!? Because my brain knows and loves it, that's why.
We're the richest country in the world and our health suffers bc of greed, corruption and......? Cowardice? Who made that insane food pyramid? Why don't mainstream doctors.....
::sigh::
Now THAT makes me feel hungry. Again. When people in positions of trust and authority fail, or sell us out for a dollar....it brings up reactivity for me.
Interesting.
Lighter
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