Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
DD18 seeing nutritional response practitioner (NRP)
lighter:
Thanks for taking the time to share all that, CB.
I think your point, about more complex carbs slowing down simple carb absorbtion, is important. I also think the almonds are what make the dark chocolate from Aldi's something my body can handle, at this time, if I chose to eat it.
I understand popcorn and chips equal eating skittles in the bloodstream...... that's why I'm trying to limit carbs to one, once a week.
It's likely I've been in ketosis, as you said. There's no way to drop this much inflammation and weight in this short time. Can't be, while I'm eating so much food. So much protein. So many greens and veggies. Making sure there's healthy fats included. I didn't stop eating fruit this time, however. I think that's why there's not more change in my body. I'm not really aware of my body, most of the time, so I don't notice increments. I don't weigh myself. What I do notice is how my clothing fits. I turn aroud, one day, and all tthe layers of dimples fell off while I wasn't paying attention so it still seems very mysterious to me.
NRP has us eating protein, fat and complex carbs...... lots. We need the carbs to break down into glucose to unlock the cells to take in the nutrition...... is how she explained it.
If we have spiked insulen levels, the cells can't open up to release the stored calories, is how I understand that process from DD20;s struggles with weight. Her fasting insulen levels were very high. I'm sure they still are. The processes are so complex. Well beyond my uderstanding. If my experience is any indicator, it's well beyond Western medicine doc's understanding too. Some are able to admit it. Some get defensive. I feel pretty done witth them, frankly.
I can say this "prescriptive" way of eating (thanks, Amber) is what will help DD20...... I don;t see any other way. None.
Everyone's body is sensitive, needful, deficient in unique ways. Things change, sometimes very quickly, Cutting out more inflammatory foods in the beginning, so the body can rest, heal and start handling toxins and processes again means adding foods back in is possible.
Making unhealthy choices on occassion doesn't overwhelm or shut down function as long as we're tending to our health when it's back online.
That's how I see this working for me both times I've taken it on and it's overwhelming each time.
I've just eaten a big plate of meatballs with zucchini, pea greens and gooy eggs...... I feel full, but not too full. When I eat cooked down cinnamon apples I feel sick afterwards. Eating good foods doesn't upset me or make me feel ill..... consistently, it's just eating and getting back to work or whatever I was doing. When I was eating simple carbs there was heartburn, feeling sick I was so full, inflammation and sometimes pain, depending on the carb. Wheat always leads to pain in several joints. When I was eating it daily it hurt the shoulder I popped out of joint in martial arts. Once in a while only hurts my big toes.
How much we eat, how often and depending on our ability to handle it...... everyone has different food prescriptions if food as medicine is a focus, IME.
My sister added wheat back into her diet without pain..... every once in a while. Her body can handle it. Mine can't. Not now, anyway. I removed gluten years ago, so I have replacements, don't yearn for it and am quite sure it still bothers me, bc I got stupid on the island over the home baked sweet bread popular with locals and tourists. Lots of sugar. Marvelous stuff, but strictly poison if you care about such things. It seems odd I'd DO that to myself, bc all the walking and working I was doing... I needed my body, out of pain. That's where being around people eating stupid really hurts. I bought the bread for DD18, then my brain pinged after having a bite and that lead to days of eating wheat bread without hesitation.
DD18 agrees.... we can't have inflammatory foods in the house or they will get eaten. That's admitting we're too weak to discipline ourslves consistently. We lack discipline. Discipline is lacking in our habits. Ouch. I don't like reading that. Darn those exciting foods.
I'm sure eating this way will get much easier than it is now. It's much easier than it was.
Lighter
lighter:
CB:
It's been a while since DD20 has been to the doctor. She was working out regularly at a gym....loved her personal trainer, made an effort with food choices....I think not seeing much progress bummed her out then Covid shut down the gym. She's gained so much and the bypass surgery quacks convinced her she has no power to impact her own health and weight.....they can fix her with a surgery.
Her fasting insulin levels, 9 years ago were significantly elevated and she had a whole body infection....I assume it was Lyme's disease another doc found 6 years ago.
When DD20 went toTherapeutic Boarding School she snapped at me...
"Stop trying to fix me!". I was stunned. Shocked. Terribly conflicted and hurt, bc I had spent so much time and resources trying to solve the mysteries of her weight and underlying causes....very high heavy metal levels, leaky gut, low stomach acid so she wasn't digesting protein I was feeding her a lot of....I wanted her to eat, not restrict and work out like a maniac ( her father) to control her weight....she was 18 and I stepped back.
She's been to check ups with a regular MD practicing integrative medicine, but she believes the gastric bypass will change everything.
I don't go with her to doc appointments anymore.
When we all 3 saw the NRP, who's also a nurse practitioner, DD20 dropped so much inflammation, it was night and day. I wonder how things would have gone if my mother didn't fall ill, if we didn't move back to GA to be near her, if we didn't drop the NRP bc I was overwhelmed with the custody case and mom's cancer....I missed her first chemo bc of an 8 hour deposition of the..... doesn't matter now.
DD20 feels pretty distant right now. She doesn't want me meddling in her food, or telling her what to do.
I had no ability to balance anything but her healthcare, the girl's school and the legals while living under the legal siege so many years. I was tunnel visioned on DD20's physical health and the legals and school. That's it. My nose was on pebbles....I didn't laugh or dance with the girls. I was too tired and tormented to be the mom she had before. And she remembered who I'd been before. She was really awful to me, which was super difficult to have in my safe spaces. My MIL had a weekend of poisoning her mind when DD20 was 7yo and things really changed....I think that was a huge factor. DD18 began hating DD20....every day was battle after battle in the house....and outside. My relationship with DD 20 is complicated....even after she admitted to tormenting me for years on purpose..... she's very touchy....she'd say oppositional defiant, but only when she feels I'm overstepping.
DD20 needs to go to the dentist. I'll try to set up a regular physical....and maybe be there for her in a way she won't mind, if allowed. She should be handling these things on her own, but doesn't if left to herself with these appointments.
I'm curious about her fasting insulin levels and general health/ labs too. Last week she was looking over workplace insurance programs and deductibles.....so expensive.
That's a lot of information.
Lighter
Hopalong:
Lighter,
I remember when my DD's distancing began, her focus grew ever more intense on removing me and my:
considerable research skills
health education background
deepening anxiety for her wellbeing
love as I expressed it
....to the point that ANY (from me):
advice
instruction
affection
research
appointment setting
appointment accompanying
interpreting of any medical issue of hers at any time
mentioning
recording
commenting
pressuring
obsessing over
worrying
...from her orbit. It took me a loooooong time to recognize (and for us, it was too late) how my anxiety over her wellbeing had turned me into an entire fleet of BlackHawks, hovering, terrified for her, and so forth. My fears were suffocating to her. I couldn't fully control my anxiety and to her, it was an acid drip.
So, forgive me, but I'd say -- bless the bypass. Support her in going through it. And if it isn't the magic cure and she regains? Then you can step alllllllllll the way back and watch her, as an adult woman, make her own realizations and decisions about how she's going to live. Or not.
The rub is:
--She may be one of many (50%) who do succeed and are transformed and filled with hope and sanity, given the kickstart of the bypass.
--She may be one of many (*50%) who revert and create a second obesity crisis for themselves after the bypass.
[*updated because of conclusions from a substantial study of stats:
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18392907/]
The bottom line is:
You can't know or control the outcome. I'd donate a metaphorical toe to help you release the trying, because the trying might contribute to her giving up her essential discovery of full autonomy. You can push on doorframes until the house falls down, but this is still her path to trod.
I think the only peace is in releasing the outcome and letting go of the love-and-guilt-driven, frantic campaign to change it all for your DD20. And very very soon, for DD18 as well.
It's not your fault, whether you were a distracted imperfect mother or not. It's what has happened in DD20's (and DD18's) lives too, so only they can find their right ways through it.
Support is one thing. Supervision is another.
Adult children rebel, often in self-sabotaging ways, against supervision.
MUCH comfort, empathy, hope for you--
hugs,
Hops
lighter:
Thank you, ((Hops.))
Sharing your experience really helps me pry my fingers off the steering wheel in DD20's life. Truly.
I'll try very hard to give advice ONLY when it's asked for.
I'll attempt to shift my focus TO MYSELF and my business.
I'll try to drop the guilt and story of the past to do what's best for everyone in the now.
Lighter
Hopalong:
A big Yes.
And, she'll undergo this, too, which may help her in many ways:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3096263/
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