Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Clutterbug

(1/3) > >>

lighter:
I've been trying to zero in on decluttering.  It's really difficult for me, so I did what I do and researched why it's hard.

Clutter is either memories or maybe this will be useful some day clutter.

I have both, of course.

I also have generations of stuff I'd like all our grown children to make selections from....which means that stuff stays in our homes for a while BUT will be thrown out if it goes to ex SIL's house.

And I will have to let go.  Not worry.  Not feel responsible anymore.

I'm a visual organizer....I want to see my stuff.  Touch it.  Have access.  I have to edit useful stuff from memories from maybe useful in the future......and just get on with letting things go.

Kids can choose, but I can't be responsible for it all anymore. 

Letting go.  This is huge big change for me and I have to take bites every day and chew then swallow.....multi tasking, moving pieces, the right systems in place so I can use and function within them without angst and dread and paralysis.

That's what I got from identifying "projects" this last week.

With that said, I'll be at the lake for a while doing the same thing.

Time to get all the heirlooms sorted.  Kids can choose.  I help my girls with theirs and....see.... I'm the one.  My sister cares, but she lives in Canada and has no extra space.

Well....I am turning towards it with fat intent.
:: Nod::.
Lighter

Twoapenny:
Lighter, I did read once that photographing items can help - that way you can still see it and access the memory without having the actual item any more.  Another tip I read was to sell things you can't keep and use the money to buy something you do want or need - so each time you step on that lovely rug in the sitting room you think of the porcelain doll collection that meant a lot to someone but just took up too much space to hang on to.  I think people hold on to things in different ways.  I'm not into stuff but I love photographs, music (ie a record I know that x loved to play), those things that tell a story.  Maybe there are ways you can keep the story and the memories without having the actual items in front of you.  Little steps.  Bite size pieces.  It all adds up xx

lighter:
Tupp:
I think I know getting rid of clutter feels amazing, creates space to live I and brings joy.  I wish I had more ability to deal with it.  I'm either micro managing or throwing out wholesale.....taking loads to Goodwill in the night, like a thief, but in reverse.

I think your idea to sell things, touch them one last time, see them go to new owners to care for them....could be cathartic and pay for a new useful storage system, perhaps. 

I'd have to set a date and GO. 

Now, that said, the idea if a PITA sale feels daunting.  The pricing, dealing with people and thieves.....the strangers would bring up stress.  The neighbors would too, frankly.  Esp Yelly Guy.  I figured out why he bugs me so much. He behaves like a teenaged boy, brokenhearted, hoping to be saved, completely clueless. I suppose my codependent nerve gets tweaked when someone inappropriate makes me feel responsible for their feelings.  I'm really touchy about it where maybe I should just fly above it.

It's my reaction that creates trouble for me.  Not so much his initial transgression.  It's the insistence he be seen, heard, liked, helpful, saved.....that pouty teen boy thing....ugh.  Just can't fly about ve it quite yet.

I grabbed hold of myself today and went into the forest with pug, determined to deal with him better, if necessary.  I enjoyed the moss, the stones, the tadpoles, the pug.  I noted,veith little emotion, the things I put down in my efforts to avoid yg and neighbors in general.

I really disconnected.  I want to decide what I choose and how I feel.  I want to feel joy again, not snotty unhappy sourpuss avoidance, bc I can't do better, kwim?

It would be nice to set a timeframe to deal with the stuff before my sister arrives.  Yard too so she can relax.  Her health needs attention and some downtime.

Lighter

Twoapenny:
I know what you mean, Lighter, sometimes selling things can be a lot of work.  Is it the kind of stuff that might be bought up by a house clearance company, or stuff you could auction?  Just so it's a more hands off way of selling things and you wouldn't have to do much other than arrange for them to come over?  Could any of it go on EBay and you post stuff out to people (assuming there are any small bits to sell)?  Or maybe could the girls organise a yard sale, maybe your brother could help?  Just wondering if there are ways you can delegate a bit?  Is Yelly Guy the one that declared his feelings for you when you were out walking? 

lighter:
Yes. Yelly Guy is that guy, Tupp.  I like the idea of an auction.

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page