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Meditation

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Phyll:
I use a CPAP machine when I sleep.  I got a new unit in June.  Data including the hours of usage and number of apneas (non-breathing events) is automatically uploaded using cell phone towers. I got e-mail alerts in August for having too many events, as many as 21 to 25 events per hour.  I reported the spikes to the respiratory therapist. He reviewed the data and said many of the increased number of events were identified as central apneas. He went on to explain the pauses in breathing are not because of an obstruction in my upper airway., and he could not identify a possible cause for this from my records. We agreed to monitor over the next month.

The reports I can view on the computer do not differentiate the central apneas, but the unit itself will  show me that data each day, so I have been keeping track.  The number of events have steadily  decreased since the end of August .

I met with my psychiatrist today and went over the events that happened since we last met (mid June), including the Lyme's disease and issues with W's lack of empathy.  I also told her about the central apneas - which I understood it to mean that my brain was not telling my body to breath for some reason.  She explained the same part of the brain is impacted by fear, and wondered if I was feeling unsafe due to the situation with W.  We discussed doing some routine breath work and meditation.

What is interesting is I noticed things have been pretty calm around here with W for over a week now, with very few arguments vs. 3 to 5 explosions of anger per day.  Perhaps there is a measurable  correlation between how well I sleep and how well I am coping with W's fluctuating moods.

I have considered getting into a routine of meditation for quite some time but keep putting it off. My book club (we call ourselves spirit sisters) have read a number of books on the subjects of meditation, mindfulness such as - 10% Happier by Dan Harris, The Book of Joy by the Dalai Lama, Minfulness and the 12 Steps... When I first got sober I used to attend sessions with a woman using breath relaxation techniques and guided imagery.  I am somewhat familiar with an app called "Insight Timer" for guided meditation.  Are there any you use or find helpful?

Perhaps this is the kick start I needed.

lighter:
I used to use the blue ball app..... not the actual name, but the ball got larger and smaller and I could speed it up or slow it down and breathe with it.

I prefer  walking meditations like kissing the earth with my feet, but you do what you do, Phil.

Whatever works for you is what's best.

I'm glad you have a T you trust.

Lighter

sKePTiKal:
I think there is a direct connection between the stressful things you encounter during your day and how well one sleeps. I agree with your T. The thing is, you may not be consciously aware of being afraid or threatened... it may happen at deeper levels and your mind/emotions will still react.

Anything that helps you feel more confident and in control (if possible) of your environment will improve your sleep.

Hopalong:
If you scroll down and read the CAUSES section here, it helps make sense of central sleep apnea.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/central-sleep-apnea/symptoms-causes/syc-20352109

Stress never helps anything, and I'm very sorry you've been living with so much of it.  I'm imagining any physical health issues that you have that are mostly behavioral would be a good place to focus. (Talking --shouting-- to myself, here....) Lots of emotional support and therapy can free up more strength so it's available to you for sorting out your personal situation or coping with it with more peace of mind.

You deserve a serene and peaceful life, Phyll. Do you have a sense of a step by step way to make that more possible? I'm wondering if something written up -- dunno, like a goal timeline, or a priorities list, could help you as you go forward.

hugs
Hops

lighter:
There's an interesting documentary called HEAL on tv.....Hulu, I think.

Lighter

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