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My husband has been dead over a year now...........omg

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Bettyanne:
I wish I had been able to handle what was ..........I realize now how we can break away from what is not good for us.
I am only one left from my childhood family and I do have six kids but my so called mother brainwashed them into thinking she was fine.......nothing I can do about that now.....

I miss Bill so so much......I realize what we had was good and we loved each other.  Thanks dear friends here......
Love, Bettyanne

Hopalong:
You're very welcome, (((((Bettyanne))))).

Come back any time you need to just express it all, get it written out.

We hear you.

hugs and comfort,
Hops

Twoapenny:
Hi BettyAnne,
It's lovely to see you, although I'm sorry things are (understandably) so tough for you.  I was watching a TV show the other night and a lady on there was talking about losing her husband - she said the light in her heart had gone out and I just really go the sense of loss and sorrow from that.  I guess it feels like a similar thing for you.  I'm so sorry.

I think with family, even breaking away didn't stop the enormous influence they had/have on my life.  I haven't spoken to my mum for fifteen years now and the only contact has been either unpleasant cards or letters from her and one or two 'reaching out' cards from me over the years, which I wished I hadn't sent.  I still think about her every day, I still wish things were different, I still look back at some of my childhood and think 'what the hell were you thinking?'.  I think they're just part of us, you know?  And I guess Bill kind of rescued you from them in a way, and maybe that's why they're on your mind a lot again now he's gone.

I'm very sorry it's so tough and wish there was something I could do or say that just made it feel better.  It's so hard.  I hope you're able to pop in here from time to time anyway, it's always lovely to see you xx

lighter:
((Bettyanne))  I hope you find a way Bill is close to you.  Sometimes I want so hard to have my Bill with me.....I pretend he's right next to me and for a little while, he is.  At least to my Nervous System and heart.....
they believe. 
::Nodding::.

It's a comfort to me as are dreams.

Bettyanne:
I continue to feel the lost of Bill.......
I was ready what I wrote but I think he was the only person that I had........he was always to kind to  me...I don't mean he that he never did nothing wrong.......we all do........but I felt so close to him.....He understood what I was going through.
He knew there was something so wrong with my mother........
If only I was told a therapist to get away from her........I see that clearer today then ever.........my life would have been different not perfect but I would not have let her control me or my husbands..........

I am 78 now and I see with my eyes wide open OMG what a sicko she was and her mother.......I see my dad did nothing to control her either.......that's the lesson.......we all can make a choice????? we don't have to be abused.
As I continue to miss Bill I realize I needed to get away from her.....she's gone now but she was awful to the end almost 101.

Thank you friends........for kindness and nice responses........it's never to late to say NO.......and learn to love ourselves
Love, Bettyanne

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