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mental health
Twoapenny:
I'm glad there's continued input from the docs, Hopsie, and that my earlier post hadn't sounded a bit dodgy! I had a moment when I re-read it when it seemed it might not sound the way I meant it to :) Truthfully my motivation is really more than son needs things from me and that I want to be around (and functioning!) for as long as possible for his sake. I think I'd have succumbed to some sort of deep dark pit long ago without him to keep me in check xx
Hopalong:
I know what you mean about how taking care of someone else keeps one out of the pit, Tupp. It's a strange thing, because if that gets soooo out of balance (as it did with me and my Nmom and D, and you at times with your terrors for Son) you think you might die from the stress....then you're in the dark pit anyway. But I know it does give me purpose.
Pooch every day; crows yesterday. The day before that I made an enormous pot of veggie soup again (minus the previous oops with the hot sauce, to each to add their own!). Was so excited to have it to share with neighbors. Pooch and I went up and down the block leaving jars of it on four porches with little notes, late at night. Next day I realized I'd kept only enough for myself to have two bowls, and the initial plan was about my health, to ensure I was eating more nutrition ongoingly by always having something healthy in the freezer that could last me a week or more. Soup is that thing for me, if it's really jammed with veggies (as this one is).
So today I need to make another batch. This time to freeze. It's a lot of prep and chopping and cleanup. The out-of-balance thing was not realizing I'd stinted myself with the whole plan. But it was nice to get happy notes and emails back, when they returned the jars.
I think the changing light is lovely, but have a wary eye on winter. I know you do too, especially with energy worries. But you sound so enterprising and prepared. I'm not too worried about staying warm in a brief power outage, but the world is spinning faster than usual and there's so much trouble in so many places. I'm trying to build in some emotional resilience that drained away during the initial heart scare stuff.
T work is going better. I'm pushing myself to reach out more, schedule more visits, make more calls. Anxiety is like that. Isolation can make it roar.
Thanks for listening to this ramble!
hugs
Hops
Twoapenny:
The soup sounds like a brilliant idea, Hops, and it's nice to share it around. Be great if you start finding little healthy food parcels on your doorstep every now and again - that's assuming that the crows don't get to it first! I know what you mean about people and their needs; there's such a fine line between your own needs and those of the people you love. It's very hard to tread that carefully and not be swamped by other people at times. I'm glad the crows returned. Reaching out and scheduling social contact is a good idea, especially to get in place before the real winter sets in.
sKePTiKal:
Since we're all human, chances are we won't often get that balance correct between taking care of others & putting ourselves first. But, to keep trying does build up the experiential awareness and help us decide what's right for us in that moment/relationship.
Totally agree on the world spinning off it's axle. No matter what your perspective is on world events - everyone is dealing with at least increased low level anxiety these days. And even though I only have to look around the farm to see that in my little corner of the world - things are still just fine; and nature's at the controls of the order around here - some days it gets to me too. Hol & I frequently throw ideas at the wall for solutions - but we also know full well no one (who could implement any solution) ever asks US and wouldn't listen to us, if we did get on a soapbox.
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