Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
2022 Frozen Tundra Farm Report
sKePTiKal:
So, the studio work.
The last of Hol's things have been moved. I've been scrubbing the floor, moving items, deep cleaning & designing in my head. Trying to get a feel for functional arrangement of flat surfaces. And looking at all my gack displayed on shelves - wishing it would just all go away. Like oil painting crap. Oils are tedious, touchy, and one has to wait for them to dry before proceeding. Most of my images are personal & therapeutic for ME - and I'm seldom that distraught anymore to bother with the lovely, expressive "get the composition on quickly with passion" phase. One canvas in 30 years? Hmmmmmmm. Perhaps it's not worth it keeping all that around.
Like my old etching zinc plates; poundage there. I don't have a press (studio floor wouldn't hold it anyway). And the ventilation requirements far exceed the building's design. Before moving to the beach, I invested in a nice watercolor taboret. Even back then, the last time I thought I had time/interest in making art... I was extremely tentative exploring that medium. And ended up back with my paper & pencils; occasionally pastels. Which felt pretty good. And I have done quite a bit in that medium; even lately I finished a portrait of Mike.
A lot of Hol's friends are artists. And one thing I've noticed about that generation is that it's almost more important that they IDENTIFY as an artist -- as make art. There is one exception; the former photog who's been making collages of disposed cigaratte paper/filters. He's been regularly producing pieces, albeit it may also be a form of art therapy for him too. The work/style is evolving, I can say that for him.
As for me, I never made a big deal out of being an artist. The label is almost a stereotype and people regularly told me I wasn't a "normal" artist. LOLOLOLOLOL. You know, raising kids, driving boys to soccer practice, making meals at normal times and paying the bills on time. But I never let the identification go. It was always something I could "fall back on" when I got too old & decrepit to be of much use otherwise. So I saved all those tools. Drug 'em around move after move. And now, I just want them to go away.
It's like armor that's outlived it's usefulness. It's in the way. Of what I don't know yet. Like having long hair down to my butt, that took a long, long time to grow; eats up hours a week taking care of it; creates tension headaches from the weight and is like wearing a wooly mammoth in the heat of summer. It's in the way; not functional; serves no purpose; takes up space. If I keep my watercolors, papers & pencils - I can still make images. Been watching some bookbinding vids too. I learned that one summer before my senior year and made a few books with fancy pull-outs, die-cuts, all handprinted. I have linoleum blocks & tools & inks. Could still print that way.
But the things I know about sewing and needlework seem to be more valuable in the society we're transitioning to. Useful. And it was my first creative medium. And there seems to be rising energy in/around me to just dive in and revive the old studio motto:
I know by going where it is I have to go. (Theodore Rothke)
Hopalong:
LOVE all this thinking, Amber!
And btw, apropos of nothing, I love pastels. Did a wild series of pastel self-portraits when I lived in the attic of the Louisville Courier Journal film critic. She was pals with Ned Beatty. I loved that city.
My guy pals used to come look at them all over the wall and try not to show that they liked the one with bare boobs best.
Identity labels don't matter. Your capacity for human happiness, in whatever personal form, is functioning fine.
hugs
Hops
lighter:
Ahhh.... the long hair and art supplies, Amber. So heavy, take up time and space, but they're a part of a person with long hair and an attachment to art supplies... I understand.
As I read your post I thought about your cutting your hair........
and I was envious at the thought you could and I would never shed my own..... hair or art supplies.
The idea of putting away, giving away precious art supplies felt so sad to me...... and my daughters dive into them and use them all the time, so....they're here to stay.
But the hair....the last time I cut mine, was before trial. I guess youngest dd was about 6 or 7yo and she was so angry.
"I had a lot of good memories with that hair, you PUT IT BACK!"
The ttuth is.... shorter hair is a HUGE PITA to deal with.... much more difficult than longer hair I can put up and out of the way in 3 seconds. Shorter hair looks like someone else's hair and I';m completely unnerved every time I see myself in a mirror....... it was a dreadful time and I think it's shaved head, like Tupp, or long hair for me.
I think the moss was my oil painting-like habit...... tedious and time consuming, perhaps not worth keeping it around. Will see.
I'm curious what I'll keep..... things are going to go. I;m just not certain which things.
Lighter
sKePTiKal:
I'm not either Lighter; not sure what will go and what will stay. It was easier to box up the last of Mike's tools & collections from the studio and relocate them. There are some photos in that category too. My hair is growing out again, just to be able to pull it back and my stylist is on maternity leave.
The outdoor work has two giant obstacles for me. One is heat & humidity; I simply can't acclimate to it. The other is bugs. Noseeums were late this year, and I got nailed back in June; still have red welts on my back. We have a bug zapper on the porch and when I came out a few nights ago collected 20 mosquito bites within the space of 5 minutes. The one welt on my back has B worrying over it and doctoring me, for a change. It's still not serious but it does itch and bother me.
Furniture changes - minor ones - are in order too. And storage management. My pantry plan for part of the garage downstairs hasn't materialized. The studio garage needs a LOT of reorganization and we have a good bit to move from the barn to the shop. Every blessed vehicle needs a day of B attention and parts. B is cutting down dead trees for firewood and Virginia pines (which are invasive here and grow like weeds). The garden needs it's fall makeover after I earth any surviving plants from the waist high weeds. And I need to get my seed starting stuff moved to the barn and order more seeds. And a TON of tree trimming and removing suckers from stumps, etc just landscaping cleanup.
SIGH. I might have to recruit Hol. And she has her own list of important jobs. I guess we'll touch base later today again and see what their schedule looks like again.
Hopalong:
Anybody local who'd welcome some hourly yard work?
hugs
Hops
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