Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
2022 Frozen Tundra Farm Report
sKePTiKal:
You can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink.
Yes, she knows the value - despite her misgivings - of therapy. She has to seek this on her own or the effort is wasted energy.
Hopalong:
Boy, do I understand the horse story.
My advocacy and urging backfired hugely.
Good luck. Hope Hol wakes up one morning and decides
she is worth it, capable of change, and deserving of peace.
hugs and happy Sunday,
Hops
sKePTiKal:
No worries Hops. We're all trying to do the best we can with who we are and what we've got to give.
Hopalong:
Ahhh.
I meant that my advocacy/urging about therapy with my own D backfired hugely. Anything I proposed was automatically rejected.
I still believe if she'd been willing to do family counseling with me, we might have found a way through. She went to a couple of appointments: rejected the first therapist and announced her "divorce my mother" plan at the second.
Ah, well. All water over the bridge now.
hugs
Hops
sKePTiKal:
Yeah, Hol's issues aren't with me, thankfully. Sometimes it sounds that way, but she's actually indulging herself in some role-play rehersing using me as a stand-in. It confuses me sometimes, and others who witness this weird shift she does. But it's all an attempt to alleviate the level of extreme anxiety she's trying to manage/work through.
She isn't a person one would think would have an issue with direct, blunt, confrontation (from her external persona) - but she is. Behind that blustery, you can't push me around mask - she is a softy marshmallow. We've talked about the possibility of trying to get those two sides of herself to play nicer with each other, toward a single objective. She definitely gets it - and I definitely understand it's way harder than it sounds.
She's working this week and next. It's good for us to have some "time off" from each other. And the working is good for her too. She doesn't have time to spend overthinking the least little things right now. So.... we'll see. I have every confidence she'll be able to find her way through the maze she's created in her mind to a practical (for her) resolution. And I am remembering she needs the positive feedback, better.
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version