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My husband has been dead over a year now...........omg

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Bettyanne:
Hi dear friends.......
The abuse I suffered started at birth.........she put me in day care.....for the first five years of my life......when I was suppose to go to kindergarten she made arrangements for me to do 2 years of first grade........life was about herself and her escape of taking care of her son and me........when I was young not sure on the story but I lost the top of one of my fingers because she wasn't really watching me.........the list could go on and on and on......
she was not a mother.........I don't think she wanted to be either.....she used me and anyone she could........she could change her personality on a dime.  I saw and I new it........in time but it was something I couldn't do a thing about!!!!!
She knew what she was doing........
my husband drove her for years on the weekends to shrine where she volunteered to sell used items......and make money for the poor......( I had 6 kids........she hardly ever did anything for me or my kids that didn't suit herself and her needs)

I remember hearing that her friend took her to the shrine and charged her 25$ for one part of the ride there......ha good for this friend.......she paid her but not me or my husband......I guess we were suppose to???

I didn't really have a mother I had a control freak who put her needs before anyone......once a year the shrine would have a luncheon and oh boy she got praised for all she did raising money for them..........not me or my husband we were ???

I sure realize now how I was used and abused.......she was good at how she made me feel I owe her and for what??? I had six kids and was treated to a pizza ......I didn't need

I wonder today ........since she died at 100 and was such a big fund raiser for the shrine.....PS she also told people how bad I was.......yicks......I was taking care of my kids most of the time......oh I could go on and on.....I realize how I was abused and used my therapist says.......she trained me that way........

I more then anything today miss my husband......who was a good man and was always nice to me and our kids......I wish I knew to get away from her when I was younger.....I didn't and was caught in the mouse trap......
'
We've all learned a lot from abusvie parents and people like nuns who could tell you your no good.....today I see it all so different......stay away from mentally sick and abusive people......be good to yourself and your family......Love is the answer for it all......don't get caught and be abused by selfish people ........that's not what life is about.........enjoy yourself xoxo

Hopalong:
I'm really happy to learn that you have a therapist, BettyAnne.

So glad you have this support.

hugs
Hops

lighter:
Hi, Hops:

I was responding to Bettyanne's last comment in her post....
" OK  I need to stop."

I wasn't in any way responding to your post; )

You always provide valid experience and opinions.  How wonderful to have so many viewpoints on this board; )

Lighter

Hopalong:
You mean everything in the universe really ISN'T about Meeeeeeeeeeeee?

Blush.

Well, there goes another oversensitive self-defense that was entirely unnecessary.

How embarrassing.

Sorry, Lighter.

hugs
Hops

lighter:
I didn't read your response to Bettyanne bc I was reactive and immediately fired off a response to make sure I didn't forget.  All the travel and readying for more travel and catching up with the island and the lake and my widowed friend has me starting posts I don't finish.

Sometimes you and I give different advice, but we have different POVs.... it's to be expected.  Our stuff rubs up againt the other's stuff and shows me where tender spots reside.... and that's OK too.  I admit I've gone to bed mumbling to myself, on occassion, after reading some of your responses to me...this was years ago.  Maybe 2012 or so..... and my mumbling typically lead to deeper understanding about difficult things I needed or need more clarity on.

It's all good: )

Lighter

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