Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
'23 - The Adventure Continues ;)
Twoapenny:
Personally I wouldn't worry about the nice doc too much, Skep. If she is as good as she seems to be, she's probably been over his notes and wondered how the blazes he's kept going all these years, and people blowing up must be a fairly regular thing. In her shoes I don't think I'd be taking it personally. I know I get so stressed at every appointment now because we've had so many awful experiences that I can blow over something fairly minor and mishear what I'm being told sometimes. I think a good doc understands that (and should do more to sort the ridiculous systems out, in my opinion, but that's a whole other conversation :) ). From all the things you've said about B no doubt he'll chat it through with her next time when he's calmer and things will have settled a bit by then. I'm glad you've been able to sort a brace easily, and I hope this next round of trying to sort it all out means you are finally close to it being 'done', however that might end up looking. It's so draining. I'm glad he's got you around to buffer all the medical stuff (I accidentally typed 'bugger' then which was kind of funny :) ). Lol. I hope your stuff arrives at some point! Deliveries are so weird sometimes x
sKePTiKal:
Actually, the materials delivery and the medical dreck seem to me, to be the same thing Hops. Entropy at work. Entropy in the system, education, priorities, etc. B has supplied the 4000+ pages of his medical records to this team of docs. The knee issue is documented in there, from the time he got up out of the wheelchair and worked to get his motor function back.
In the meantime, it's now my turn "in the barrel". SIGH. Coming back from a planning session with Hol at the studio, the earlier "dark" got ahead of us... and I missed the last 2 steps on the new steps and face planted on the concrete. Sprained my bad ankle pretty good; other knee and palms scraped and one lens of my glasses engraved with deep scratches. So, now I have BOTH him & her riding herd on me.
I don't bounce as well as I used to but I still bounce. Hol was able to get me up the stairs even tho the pain was so bad, I thought I'd broken it. B took over from there and began administering all the usual - including a doubleshot cocktail, for liquid ibuprofen. That was a rough night, but the next morning it was lots better. Swelling & pain down, nothing's broken except my fantasy of being an active 60-something... LOLOLOLOL... and they have threatened to duct tape me to the couch this weekend.
This ankle & I have a history, so I keep an adjustable cane in the umbrella stand/coat rack. We had just gone to the grocery that day... so no need to go anywhere. Hol went to post office & picked up a part for B's backhoe work - which seems neverending. He has an appt Tuesday with the surgeon and stimulator rep - for an xray to see if he's torn the leads to the nerves loose. The bathroom symptoms came back, even on the original program, set very low. It's possible he ripped one loose falling (knee issue).
And if the "experts" had simply LISTENED to what we were saying without jumping into each piece individually to problemsolve... they mighta put 2+2 together. SIGH. I hate industrialized medicine. It hasn't made anything more affordable; it hasn't improved care or access to it (that's what happens when you let insurance decide if something is medically "necessary") and overall diminished the help available to people.
If I'd gone to ER, they'd have told me to do what I'm already doing - elevate, stay off ankle, take ibuprofen to reduce swelling, ice/heat, and maybe done an xray to "prove" it wasn't broken and then thrown excessive painkiller pills at me. My life doesn't stop just because I'm temporarily "limited" physically. I can't have my mind fuzzy.
That foot - ankle - knee mess probably does need a close exam. AFTER this heals back up. I know I need more arch support, but that foot has always been "out of alignment", since birth. Pain of the annoying level, a frequent companion. So, it's time. Both B & I are sneaking up on 70, so we ARE getting older... even if we do keep as active as we can.
Oh, and the old home theater system receiver died... so after talking to a lovely CSR at Crutchfield, I have a new set up to figure out and learn. Maybe have to call Crutchfield AGAIN and maybe order another cable. But I don't mind. I am unclear on the solar charged remote.... but I think it's working coz I can turn tv on; just get no image or menu or anything. Instructions and manual are pretty useless, btw. 275 pages of pdf manual that doesn't say connect A to B... just pictures and a brief sales pitch of how wonderful my new paperweight is.... LOLOL. But that'll keep me busy while elevating the foot.
I was gonna update my over 10 yr old system for Christmas, anyway. So, I just went ahead and ordered it now.
Now, to attempt making another pot of coffee with my cane. :D
Hopalong:
OWWWW, hon.
I'm so sorry about the ankle wreck. I feel ya. My ankle injury a couple years back was waaaay painful. And healed completely. I do not offer patience while healing but have heard of it.
This is not a harbinger of nuttin', except that you know natural accidents and natural deficits (or slowings or warnings) come along with the containers we live in. I think you're pretty sanguine about it all. Kinda fun to think of you duct-taped to the couch, though. You'd probably chew through it in about 5 minutes.
Tenderness toward it all. You are remarkably strong and purposeful and this is tough, when faceplant shocks do happen. So glad it wasn't worse.
big hugs,
Hops
Twoapenny:
Sorry about the ankle, Skep. It's amazing how easily something can happen. I'm glad it isn't worse and hope it starts to feel better soon.
I hear you re the entropy and the instruction manual! We had new heating put in recently, I ended up having to go on YouTube to work out how to set the temperature right and put it on when I need it despite having a huge manual - I couldn't find the bit I needed which for me is all I need to know - temperature, on and off. Lol. I don't know why things need so many features now. I can't use my phone for the same reason :)
Anyway. Healing thoughts for you and B. I'm glad you are both 'project minded' people who can plan and organise if physical activity isn't an option. Cane operated coffee production deserves recognition, I think :) xx
sKePTiKal:
Thanks for the warm fuzzy thoughts!
I've had issues for years with this foot, off & on. And the day to day twinges/failures are finally getting to the point that I was beginning to consider it's time for a podiatrist before my splat. The swelling on the ankle has moved to the top of my foot, so I'm still pretty immobile. Considering Hol driving us into the city over the mtn. on Tues, to rent an automatic. I don't think I can operate a clutch yet reliably and I have to stand on that foot getting into both jeeps.
But it IS better; mostly just achy yesterday & this morning. If I move wrong and without total attention however, I can tweak it. And I'd rather not.
New tv system is sorted and we indulged as part of "testing". <grin> Dinners for the next few days are handled. So the next time we need to go anywhere is Tues. I EXPECT I'd be recovered enough to do so, IF I wrap that ankle. But we are in wait & see mode. Hol has offered to help with all the things around here and to act as chauffeur and gofer.
B's new brace fits and seems to help. Studio should be finished in the next few days. Contracts for the shop are about ready to edit/refine & send proof notes back. B & Hol are cutting/stacking wood from the two trees we had taken down in the spring. Probably won't need to cut anymore. So we're hunkydory around here, even with the crap that happens.
My feeings have been all over the map - but just little flashes, then it's move on to something else. There isn't anything heavy weighing on me. Still keeping tabs on the news but anymore, it all seems entirely irrelevant and unimpactful to life out here in the boonies. They don't care about me - and have no inhibitions about making it obvious and forthright - and so, I don't much care about what's going on in other places, including the government. Never once, in 67 years have I been asked what I think or how things should be handled. I have mostly tried to follow the rules; it having been conditioned into me that this was the grease that kept society functioning. Anymore, it seems like that's now becoming frowned upon and in some case - punishable by law.
Kinda makes me glad, I took on the challenge of becoming a hermit - at least mentally. I like people one on one, and in small groups well enough. I know how to work with teams. Collaboration is fun for me. But I have no desire or need or wish to expand my life into what everyone is doing, thinking, or especially their feelings. Life is hard, no matter WHO you are, at times. And everything changes. I am committed to enjoying my current slice of contentment come hell or high water, as invisible as I can be... as long as the rest of the world leaves me alone or doesn't pose a threat, inhibits basics needs, or tries to force some other version of morality on me.
No one died, and made them God.
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