'23 - The Adventure Continues ;)

[Hopalong]

Everything Tupp said. I loved the shield maiden berserker invocation too!

Amber, I wonder if there'll be some shield maiden art coming out of that beautiful studio.

Now comes incubation and cozy project time -- spring creativity might be a rushing stream.

Hang in there, you and Mr. B. I also found myself agreeing with the suggestion of using S as a chimney brush. LOL!

hugs
Hops

[sKePTiKal]

Oh yes, we hadn't thought of that one! (other things, definitely!) But methinks he's eaten too many of her biscuits & gravy to get IN the chimney now. That image will give me something to do on day 2 of Ophelia rain.

Rain always adds a bit of rhythm layer to B's pain. Thunderstorms are usually Wipe-out on the cage fusing his lower back. This steady soaking rain is causing him constant aches. He slept for 4 hrs. yesterday afternoon. I rewatched the  '81 version of Excalibur.  Tomorrow is the knee exam, and meet with stimulator rep AGAIN. Sigh.

So, he's suffered another week of pain just to PROVE to little Ms. "expert" that there is for sure a direct connection between the nerve stimulation on the last 2 programs and his bathroom issues. This kind of dismissal of both our troubleshooting/observation skills - along with my quick deep dive research - sets off one of B's triggers. It sets off something different for me, but until she actually looks through the programs and CHANGES the setting back, for where the electrical zap hits exactly on that nerve... she'll just keep getting the same result. THAT'S what has to change. B knows he's never going to be completely pain-free. At our age, none of us are. The location/type of stimulation was always going to be different & less effective - we knew that from the beginning; accepted it. It was the best the doc could do, given the amount of scar tissue in the usual location. And the weather is always to impact him negatively, too. (He sez it's what his "people" are good at - rain dances! LOL.)

I think tomorrow, I'll don the high priestess garb. Monotone, early evening blue.... with appropriately selected mineral/crystal jewelry. It's good for my chi. And great camo for dealing with recalcitrant, over-educated doofuses who don't LISTEN to what their patients are telling them. I can sit there silently, and summon a pretty good-sized ball of energy - just holding it - and when I do speak, simply point out the OBVIOUS. That way, IF she completely dismisses his EXPERIENCE and my OBSERVATION, in creating a new "genius" program that will 100% work THIS TIME, (just trust her).... I can let the ball of energy loose. It's also appropriate garb for martial arts.   

We absolutely love his NP; that's who the knee exam is with. She listens, she's smart, and she's judicious with pain relief solutions. Experienced. An open demeanor. Funny and easy to talk to for B. An ally.

We're dealing with mechanical and software engineering. We both have deep, long experience in those areas. Time to change the power dynamic of "who's in charge". The "nice way" didn't work.

[Hopalong]

That dress sounds divine.
Crystals might diminish your stature in her eyes if she interprets them as woo-woo or "anti-medical" (might not but could be for her, subliminal cues to identity).
Cammo might ditto in another direction.

Warrior woman and martial arts fantasies could cause the ball of energy to be explosive, which would perhaps undermine the success of this frustrating, tedious, annoying but necessary dialogue with Her Deafness.

Even though you're right as rain, which is raining down on you both. It just ain't winning unless she is appealed to as B's partner and champion and healer.

If she fails B again, I'd ask for the highest-ranking practitioner of same. In a controlled but formal and determined fashion. I'm a fan of CCs to higher ups, rarely but when I'm sucking a brick wall.

Good luck, vibes aloft!

hugs
Hops

[sKePTiKal]

Thanks Hops!

"Her Deafness" indeed! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

[sKePTiKal]

Well, there's good news and not so good news.

Good news, is instead of stimulator rep #3, #1 showed up. Provided the info, that the "hot spots" on individual leads number 4, and are specific to individual programs. Those hotspots aren't programmed indepentantly across all programs, in other words. Said an xray would provide info on whether a lead had come unattached or shifted.

She agreed that going back to program 1 made the most sense and to keep it at a very low setting.

Still, the side effects have re-occurred, so the stimulator is currently off completely pending the appt with the surgeon and orders for the xray. (B was hoping to get back for the big load next week. That ain't gonna happen.)

The knee exam, which I didn't figure would be problematic - set B off into a total meltdown. NP, inadvertantly - she couldn't have known - hit his primary trigger buttons. He's had the motor function in that leg just temporarily shutdown & reboot - usually resulting in a fall. That concerned NP, so she wanted to investigate further. B is convinced it's connected to the nerve damage from the original injury. Xray showed minor arthritis - which he's had since his 20s. At our age, it's common anyway. But, at that point B just shutdown and ranted and couldn't hear a thing she said. She caught me on the way to check B out (since he put distance between himself and the office) and apologized again. I told her it was OK, while I navigated all the other admin type stuff.

All he's asking for, is an articulated brace. To help stabilize that leg - but those words have been lost in the emotional hurricane. I've already ordered one; believe it or not, Amazon carries them and they're not terribly expensive. It appears well made and functional; adjustable.

I felt so awful for this nice NP. It wasn't her fault; he's not really angry with her. It's a basket of things in his past that hit abandonment and being "disposable" issues. I want to find a way to tell her that outside of an appt. She's been helpful and cheerful above & beyond the call of duty, while at the same time, bringing a good level of professional skill & knowledge to the situation.

B is still processing his feelings and what his brain is also telling him; and what I've told him about my perspective of what happened. And that it's perfectly understandable that his patience just took a hike on hearing - what he THOUGHT - was the same old BS. It'll take more days; maybe weeks. And by the time of his next fill, maybe he can make his own apology to her.

Meanwhile, the contractors are ALMOST done with the studio and Home Depot has told me they delivered some of my order.... that I didn't receive. Think I'm scheduled for Saturday - AGAIN - for that delivery. Hopefully it doesn't rain. That's why it was rescheduled the first time. People I talked to last night were clueless.

S is temporarily back home, from 2 weeks of work out west. He leaves Friday again and has another week-long commitment coming up. So far, Hol is taking it pretty well. But they STILL haven't talked. She barely hears from him, when he's away and she worries. I think between the two of them, I need a spa day!! At least a long 90 minute massage. But so far, I've kept going with the fun design stuff for the studio interior.

[Twoapenny]

Personally I wouldn't worry about the nice doc too much, Skep.  If she is as good as she seems to be, she's probably been over his notes and wondered how the blazes he's kept going all these years, and people blowing up must be a fairly regular thing.  In her shoes I don't think I'd be taking it personally.  I know I get so stressed at every appointment now because we've had so many awful experiences that I can blow over something fairly minor and mishear what I'm being told sometimes.  I think a good doc understands that (and should do more to sort the ridiculous systems out, in my opinion, but that's a whole other conversation ).  From all the things you've said about B no doubt he'll chat it through with her next time when he's calmer and things will have settled a bit by then.  I'm glad you've been able to sort a brace easily, and I hope this next round of trying to sort it all out means you are finally close to it being 'done', however that might end up looking.  It's so draining.  I'm glad he's got you around to buffer all the medical stuff (I accidentally typed 'bugger' then which was kind of funny   ).  Lol.  I hope your stuff arrives at some point!  Deliveries are so weird sometimes x

[sKePTiKal]

Actually, the materials delivery and the medical dreck seem to me, to be the same thing Hops. Entropy at work. Entropy in the system, education, priorities, etc. B has supplied the 4000+ pages of his  medical records to this team of docs. The knee issue is documented in there, from the time he got up out of the wheelchair and worked to get his motor function back.

In the meantime, it's now my turn "in the barrel". SIGH. Coming back from a planning session with Hol at the studio, the earlier "dark" got ahead of us... and I missed the last 2 steps on the new steps and face planted on the concrete. Sprained my bad ankle pretty good; other knee and palms scraped and one lens of my glasses engraved with deep scratches. So, now I have BOTH him & her riding herd on me.

I don't bounce as well as I used to but I still bounce. Hol was able to get me up the stairs even tho the pain was so bad, I thought I'd broken it. B took over from there and began administering all the usual - including a doubleshot cocktail, for liquid ibuprofen. That was a rough night,  but the next morning it was lots better. Swelling & pain down, nothing's broken except my fantasy of being an active 60-something...  LOLOLOLOL... and they have threatened to duct tape me to the couch this weekend.

This ankle & I have a history, so I keep an adjustable cane in the umbrella stand/coat rack. We had just gone to the grocery that day... so no need to go anywhere.  Hol went to post office & picked up a part for B's backhoe work - which seems neverending. He has an appt Tuesday with the surgeon and stimulator rep - for an xray to see if he's torn the leads to the nerves loose. The bathroom symptoms came back, even on the original program, set very low.  It's possible he ripped one loose falling (knee issue).

And if the "experts" had simply LISTENED to what we were saying without jumping into each piece individually to problemsolve... they mighta put 2+2 together. SIGH. I hate industrialized medicine. It hasn't made anything more affordable; it hasn't improved care or access to it (that's what happens when you let insurance decide if something is medically "necessary") and overall diminished the help available to people.

If I'd gone to ER, they'd have told me to do what I'm already doing - elevate, stay off ankle, take ibuprofen to reduce swelling, ice/heat, and maybe done an xray to "prove" it wasn't broken and then thrown excessive painkiller pills at me. My life doesn't stop just because I'm temporarily "limited" physically. I can't have my mind fuzzy.

That foot - ankle - knee mess probably does need a close exam. AFTER this heals back up. I know I need more arch support, but that foot has always been "out of alignment", since birth. Pain of the annoying level, a frequent companion. So, it's time. Both B & I are sneaking up on 70, so we ARE getting older... even if we do keep as active as we can.

Oh, and the old home theater system receiver died... so after talking to a lovely CSR at Crutchfield, I have a new set up to figure out and learn. Maybe have to call Crutchfield AGAIN and maybe order another cable. But I don't mind. I am unclear on the solar charged remote.... but I think it's working coz I can turn tv on; just get no image or menu or anything. Instructions and manual are pretty useless, btw. 275 pages of pdf manual that doesn't say connect A to B... just pictures and a brief sales pitch of how wonderful my new paperweight is....    LOLOL. But that'll keep me busy while elevating the foot.

I was gonna update my over 10 yr old system for Christmas, anyway. So, I just went ahead and ordered it now.

Now, to attempt making another pot of coffee with my cane. 

[Hopalong]

OWWWW, hon.
I'm so sorry about the ankle wreck. I feel ya. My ankle injury a couple years back was waaaay painful. And healed completely. I do not offer patience while healing but have heard of it.

This is not a harbinger of nuttin', except that you know natural accidents and natural deficits (or slowings or warnings) come along with the containers we live in. I think you're pretty sanguine about it all. Kinda fun to think of you duct-taped to the couch, though. You'd probably chew through it in about 5 minutes.

Tenderness toward it all. You are remarkably strong and purposeful and this is tough, when faceplant shocks do happen. So glad it wasn't worse.

big hugs,
Hops

[Twoapenny]

Sorry about the ankle, Skep.  It's amazing how easily something can happen.  I'm glad it isn't worse and hope it starts to feel better soon.

I hear you re the entropy and the instruction manual!  We had new heating put in recently, I ended up having to go on YouTube to work out how to set the temperature right and put it on when I need it despite having a huge manual - I couldn't find the bit I needed which for me is all I need to know - temperature, on and off.  Lol.  I don't know why things need so many features now.  I can't use my phone for the same reason

Anyway.  Healing thoughts for you and B.  I'm glad you are both 'project minded' people who can plan and organise if physical activity isn't an option.  Cane operated coffee production deserves recognition, I think xx

[sKePTiKal]

Thanks for the warm fuzzy thoughts!

I've had issues for years with this foot, off & on. And the day to day twinges/failures are finally getting to the point that I was beginning to consider it's time for a podiatrist before my splat. The swelling on the ankle has moved to the top of my foot, so I'm still pretty immobile. Considering Hol driving us into the city over the mtn. on Tues, to rent an automatic. I don't think I can operate a clutch yet reliably and I have to stand on that foot getting into both jeeps.

But it IS better; mostly just achy yesterday & this morning. If I move wrong and without total attention however, I can tweak it. And I'd rather not.

New tv system is sorted and we indulged as part of "testing".  <grin>  Dinners for the next few days are handled. So the next time we need to go anywhere is Tues. I EXPECT I'd be recovered enough to do so, IF I wrap that ankle. But we are in wait & see mode. Hol has offered to help with all the things around here and to act as chauffeur and gofer.

B's new brace fits and seems to help. Studio should be finished in the next few days. Contracts for the shop are about ready to edit/refine & send proof notes back. B  & Hol are cutting/stacking wood from the two trees we had taken down in the spring. Probably won't need to cut anymore. So we're hunkydory around here, even with the crap that happens.

My feeings have been all over the map - but just little flashes, then it's move on to something else. There isn't anything heavy weighing on me. Still keeping tabs on the news but anymore, it all seems entirely irrelevant and unimpactful to life out here in the boonies. They don't care about me - and have no inhibitions about making it obvious and forthright - and so, I don't much care about what's going on in other places, including the government. Never once, in 67 years have I been asked what I think or how things should be handled. I have mostly tried to follow the rules; it having been conditioned into me that this was the grease that kept society functioning. Anymore, it seems like that's now becoming frowned upon and in some case - punishable by law.

Kinda makes me glad, I took on the challenge of becoming a hermit - at least mentally. I like people one on one, and in small groups well enough. I know how to work with teams. Collaboration is fun for me. But I have no desire or need or wish to expand my life into what everyone is doing, thinking, or especially their feelings. Life is hard, no matter WHO you are, at times. And everything changes. I am committed to enjoying my current slice of contentment come hell or high water, as invisible as I can be... as long as the rest of the world leaves me alone or doesn't pose a threat, inhibits basics needs, or tries to force some other version of morality on me.

No one died, and made them God.

[sKePTiKal]

So, B's xray proves he didn't tear out either of the stimulator leads and that the symptoms were likely caused by the location of the "hotspot" on the leads. Tech moved it yesterday and also adjusted the frequency and type of pulse. So stimulator is back ON. So we're in wait & see mode now... fingers crossed the symptoms don't come back. Then the troubleshooting gets more invasive, because we'll have to eliminate other causes. But, we're pretty sure it's the stimulator, because when it's off, within 48 hrs the symptoms go away.

Rented an automatic yesterday because my jeeps require balancing and jumping off sore foot, and a lot of clutch work. It was supposed to be a sedan, but ended up with a small pickup... which I still have some; not as much; of the same movement to get in the driver's seat. Wore my Uggs yesterday, and discovered the sole and that much ankle support is just about right for right now. Ran a couple of errands in town; will go the other direction to grocery tomorrow. Might just extend the rental and let B run back for another load with it if they'll let us convert to a one-way. We'll see.

[lighter]

I know you'll do what you're gonna do, Skep, but...
things heal more quickly when I allow them to rest, IME.  Activity lead to more heal time and often more injuries. 

I hope you feel better quicly and B's docs figure out the problems with the stimulator, sooner than later.

Glad to see you're getting so much done on the farm: )

Lighter

[sKePTiKal]

Well, it's been a week now that B started a new program on the stimulator, with a drastically shifted "hot spot" on the leads.... and the previous elimination malfunction symptoms have NOT returned. Fingers crossed, we think this one is gonna work. He's getting decent pain relief on it too. And the knee brace fits... but that still needs some tinkering with to make it work better.

My ankle is healing up too. Rental goes back Tuesday - but now it feels like I just wasted the bucks on it, to pacify my motherhens. Be that as it may... I haven't even TRIED to get into Rudi yet so I don't know. Ankle itself is stable, albeit the usual ache - so I'm thinking I didn't technically sprain the ankle. I think I landed on the concrete, with the foot underneath me. Contractor is rectifying the too-short platform at the bottom of the steps.

Meanwhile, Hol was getting out of Helga and smashed her ribcage on the B post... bruised, hopefully not cracked. And now my oven is on the fritz - right before major baking season!!! Technician will be here Thursday. Stove's  not that old; maybe 3-4 years but something's gone. Maybe the digital control panel. I was trying to preheat to 450 yesterday, and after an hour and it still wasn't there yet, I remembered I had an oven thermometer; it only read 350. SIGH. It's always something, ya know? At least where I bought it has in-home service.

Found a bar island I liked for studio, but it ships assembled, by motor freight - which means an 18 wheeler. And there is no way that big a truck can get up our road, without an experienced, local driver. (It happened ONCE, building the  Hol Hut.) I called the company, no other options. But I did find a ready-to-assemble one at Lowes that might work just as well. I'll look at it again. This one is solid wood, so refinishing is a possibility.

It's turned chilly this weekend, with a good breeze and off/on rain. I imagine we'll spend some time out in the studio later this afternoon. B needs a haircut today, too. And I've stayed off my feet this week, taking care of all the "admin" crap that piles up in post-it notes on my side table, the employment contracts, and window shopping for studio furnishings. I can actually see the top of my desk needs dusting; guess if I get really bored I could back up the laptop files. I need to do that anyway, since Microsoft has gotten so pushy about "don't save that file to the computer - put it in the cloud!" -- where it can be hacked by more than half the world. Sigh.

If B continues to do well over the weekend, he'll probably head back for another load in a week. I don't think he'll be gone all that long though. He has a fill appt the end of Nov.

So even with both of us hobbling along - and Hol beating herself up - it just NEVER ends around here. New tv setup is nice though!! Only 3 pieces and the sound bar provides a "clear voice" option that makes it easier for B to hear dialogue without maxxing out the volume. Been watching the Band of Brothers series on Netflix.

[lighter]

Lordy, you have a lot on your plate.  Maybe you can have the island delivered somewhere down the mountain and drive it up yourself? 

I'm crossing fingers and toes B's new setup will do the trick.  So relieved he's getting some pain relief, finally. 

You and Hol have to heal up and that requires taking it easy, as you've done, IME.  I'm trying to be very careful with myself.  Sometimes I feel like The Predator when he's abserving everything around him...... I'm thinking ahead to foot placement and balance...being very deliberate where I moved very fast as priority in the past. 

Mindful is priority now. 

Lighter

[sKePTiKal]

LOL... the road from the highway to the hollar gives a lot of people "fits". And terror. Had servicee guy drive out to  put new tires on front of backhoe and the tech from the appliance center to troubleshoot why my oven isn't working (burnt through element). Both of them commented on the road being dicey and neither of them were "city boyz".

My ankle/foot are now down to a dull ache; still purple in places. I still can't be up on it a lot or race up/down stairs but I'm back driving Rudi again. I am resting the foot as much as I can.

Hol has company this weekend; a friend of hers & his buddy who build greenhouses, etc landscaping stuff. The greenhouse will finally get built (or mostly) this weekend. After having it here 2 years. Hol replaced her chimney parts and installed a high-wind proof cap by HERSELF (S was "working" again). B checked it out and approved for test fire to see if there are any smoke leaks - maybe this weekend. S said he would help with greenhouse (it was his idea in the first place)...but OOPS...  he had to work an extra day. I don't think Hol is real impressed, since he's turned down work before, claiming he just didn't feel like going in to the city. She's been like an energizer bunny trying to get all the "must complete before winter" work done, this year. B cut & split the two red oaks we had dropped in the spring and it's all dry, seasoned wood - so she's all set.

Local cattle farm sells vacumn packed cuts of beef and Hol's mini-freezer hasn't been turned on yet. That's what she asked for, for Christmas. LOL. I've got the order ready to put in.

B's symptoms came back on the new program. We turned the intensity down, over half - without turning it completely off this time. Symptoms cleared in about 20 hrs. So, every day or two, we bump the intensity up one point... and wait  on symptoms. We're trying to learn the range that provides enough pain relief without symptoms. And I'll write it on tape on the controller, so he doesn't forget when he's not here.

I've gotten contracts out to the two guys at the company involved in the President transition. Waiting on signed copies, to come back to me to send to lawyer -- and my brain WANTS to catastrophize & worst-case scenario this -- but I just don't have the bandwidth left to worry about it. The questions & issues that have come up have been easily accommodated... and even an unexpected request from the new bookkeeper involved didn't throw me for a loop. My personnel costs as a % of sales are crazy high, but I've refrained from calculating that %. Business is contracting along with the economy, and with inflation creeping up continually it's harder for the employees to make ends meet. My bro & I have reduced our income, and most of that goes to paying company taxes, but for social security age people the income is decent and we can't complain. I have heard from bro for the first time, that he might consider selling the company instead of passing on the shares to the kids. If he thinks about it, he's probably not serious - but you never know. Hol & I haven't discussed that either, in depth. With what feels like everything in the world very uncertain, the only thing she can focus on is the farm.

Right now, my studio work table has drywall on it, till I'm flexible enough to cut the pieces down to fit the windows. But I'm going to go ahead and cut out my sweatshirt cardigan anyway. I'm running out of "admin stuff" to do sitting down and the ankle's not good enough for me to start demo'ing the cabinets and getting the rest of the new arrangement ordered and going. I have to paint first and that will involve a stepstool. SIGH. Hol is trying to get a decent inventory of leather items ready for a show at the end of the month so she's busy too. Besides, I really WANT that sweatshirt right now!!  LOL.