Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Two Books About the Importance of the Patient/Therapist Relationship--One From the Therapist's Side and One From the Patient's Side

Two books about the importance of the patient/therapist relationship

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Hopalong:
Good Doc, I think you have a lot in common with poets.
Most of us long ago realized that we were forever flies on the wall, and most poets I know have made their peace with it. In our status and consuming-based culture, that realization is actually a relief.

I think the way you observe and engage people's inner worlds, poets do something similar with their own and others' inner and outer worlds, but still write out of hope. I do, anyway.

I've enjoyed re-reading all your posts above, and apologize for taking so long to acknowledge them. And I CAN'T BELIVE I NEGLECTED TO THANK YOU THIS THANKSGIVING!

With much gratitude for this beautiful board and all I've learned here.

love,
Hops

Dr. Richard Grossman:
Hi Hops,

One of my dear friends, Bert Waters, who was the editor of my book, died three months ago. I was asked to deliver two of his long-term friends’ memorial addresses, one friend from his undergraduate years at Harvard, and another friend who worked with him in their 20’s.  Bert lived until 85—and both friends were unable to attend the memorial service at Harvard because of health conditions.  Their long talks were lovely, personal and reflected Bert’s wisdom and humor!  At the end I added: 

“And just a few words of my own:

One of the last things Bert said to me at the end of our final lunch was: 'We can’t change the world.'

We can’t.  But we can make a significant difference in individual people’s lives—and Bert certainly made a significant difference in mine."

My point is that, yes, we are flies on the wall, but we can make a significant difference in the lives of a few flies near us.  For me, that has been the meaning of life.

If all of this approaches poetry, I’m not surprised.  My mother was a wonderful poet who sat with Alan Ginsburg one day, having won a major poetry contest.  Sadly, like many famous writers would do, all he did was talk about himself.  But it was her very sensitive brain that I inherited, and not my electrical engineer/psychologist father's.  She wanted me to be a Classics professor, and if I had known how ineffective traditional psychotherapies were, perhaps I would have gone in that direction.  But luckily, I applied my poetry/10-minute-play brain to find significance and value in therapy, and as a result have made a major difference in some people’s lives. As such, I have no regrets!

Thank YOU, again, Hops for making such a difference on this board.  I don’t know what we would have done without YOU!

As always,

Richard
 

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