Ate Top Ramen for breakfast, drove to a cafe for something to do and got a cookie, then didn't want to go home some drove a bit more, got the junk food out of my trunk which is meant to be some emergency things not sure why I had that idea to keep it but ate a nitrates and meat parts stick, some too salty pretzels, and cashews. Now, I am just home again and having a cup of tea I guess. Sat and watched some seagulls and a storm and listened to the raindrops for a LONG while, texted a weird friend about nothing in particular. Now, I guess I shall desalinate my system with lots of watery tea for a while.
Was reading some comments on a YouTube video with the topic of Narcissism and real purpose probably to funnel people to this person's business aka websites with carts. One or two of the comments was about the channel calling people lazy I guess. One person in the comments pointed out that APATHY is not the same as being lazy.
I have no point at all in writing this. In fact I think I am getting a screen headache.
Should I categorize everything into "apathy" energy or active energy... or is calling something apathy energy a bad thing to do in itself... Meh
So, today my mother called me... she called me to tell me SHE and her husband feel SAD. They feel sad because someone in her husband's extended family appears to possibly have cancer. I've seen the person maybe two or three times in my entire life at family FAMILY? events. Narcissism events? idk.
I'm sure it's sad but it's not my problem. They lived the American Dream or whatever for as long as it lasted and now they have some sickness I guess.
After decades of being invisible I'm meant to give a crap about someone I don't even know. The story of their problem is going to go on and on and my mother will talk about it for months.
I don't need to know about it really is the thing. I'm sure they have some play-date type friends, and BBQ friends, and cul-de-sac friends.
Bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhh
Her parents seemed wealthy. That's all I know. It seemed like smooth sailing for her and whatever everybody dies.
Maybe she has cancer but then don't most Americans get cancer eventually. So why do I care. I don't.
See, I'm evil. Not empathetic enough for faux-distant-relatives not even related by blood or shared experiences.
I think it's just the thrill of the drama for my mother. For me it's just complaining about my mother and needing that real distance... I'm going cross-eyed. The feeling of too much to do makes me fecking tired, or is it what I was saying before, myriad plentiful apathy. An over-abundance of apathy. Luckily I don't have to talk to the couple who are having their crisis. And nobody expects me to go to that funeral if there is one anyhow. It would likely be paid for by her rich parents and I don't know them. So... I guess I can get on with my stupid life and ignore all the subsequent times my mother brings up this subject.
Not my family. I know that much. Fake people, in a fake world, like fake headlines in the media of a fake movie.
