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Old Topic just same Fing narcissism

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Meh:

I managed to go through the five boxes of clothing rapidly. Made the bed and made piles of "dress up/work" and "casual junk." Ended up sticking two boxes of clothing and two boxes of paperwork into the storage place I got. It's more work than it seems like it's going to be to put stuff in storage. Lifting up the boxes, getting in, unlocking, relocking, getting out.

It's probably really insecurities which causes this battle of stuff and issues with making a decision about it.

I didn't throw anything away that would just take too much emotional deliberation right now.

Tired. Felt like I did nothing. Perhaps I should take a nap.

I wouldn't call clothing clutter as it has a purpose though it does feel like I just SHIFTED my clutter to a different location.

Ate some grape candy about an hour ago. Wonder if that is part of why i'm tired. idk

I'm going to nap, then go for a hard walk so I get exercise. And then I guess more freaking cleaning. 

Hopalong:
Aww, Amber.

Can I piggyback?

I got those hugs too for you Meh. I'm a cheap date and readily give them.

You deserve them.

I'm so glad our Skep verbalized it so perfectly.

Drink the water. Then sleep.
You'll still be here in the morning.

hugs
Hops

Meh:

-- Slept
-- made coffee
-- walked a lot & was pretty out then walked some more
-- more coffee and snacked
-- cleaning, cleaning, I swear this place is very dirty and I don't understand why it requires so much cleaning
-- bleached the vacuum why do I bother idk
-- now it's 4 minutes away from midnight & no matter how much I do it's not enough somehow

Well, whatever. I think the best strategy now is for me to give up on cleaning. That is it. All the cleaning is as done as it's going to get.

Seriously considering a hiatus from cooking. I need to stop it makes too much of a mess.

I'm going to live off of bananas or something.

I never want to wash another dish again I swear. For real whatever I just spent all night doing here it wasn't worth it.

Cleaned out a cabinet. Tossed away some dusty papers.

Meh:

I woke up, went to a bakery & got gas, drove around on country roads aimlessly, ended up at a very small art gallery which was nice to see. Then looked at a rental which was pointless because even if I ask people direct questions before ultimately it ends up being different in person but I guess that is okay. At least I explored a different neighborhood I suppose. Deep sigh.

Texted a friend who seems happily immune to being lonely though one never knows.

A bit exhausted and my stomach is a little upset I think.

Meh:

Stopped the car to chill. There was an estate sale 1 block away so walked there. Talked to the woman who was hosting it to help her neighbors. I think we talked for at least an hour I have no idea. She told me how much she hates her mother who is in an assisted living facility. Is this the vibe I put off? I didn't even tell her about my relationship with my mother. I have no idea how the topic even came up. I think it was something to do with the residents of the house needing to go to assisted living. I assured her that I understood broken mother-daughter relationships. She acted like she had taken it all in stride and had accepted it long ago and yet she was telling me about it like it was still a fresh annoyance. IDK.

I guess I found my version of NAR-ANON at an estate sale. Who knew?

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