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lighter:
I hope you find the living situation you want, Tupp. I'm feeling similar needs to cut back and maximize health.
Lighter
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: lighter on July 04, 2024, 03:01:02 AM ---I hope you find the living situation you want, Tupp. I'm feeling similar needs to cut back and maximize health.
Lighter
--- End quote ---
(((((((((((Lighter)))))))))))))) I think whoever we are, however brave and fearless, we are all getting older. My back at the moment is excrutiating and debilitating. I'm managing, but only just. Two degrees more and I'm done for and if that happened where we are right now, I'd be in a right old pickle. So yep, we do need to be closer to facilities and need to be able to get to them by bus. I'd rather do it now, while I can and while I have time to think and chose, rather than be in an emergency situation and have to do whatever was necessary at the time and get stuck there.
The people who viewed have decided no but they put me in touch with someone else who might be interested, so we've swapped details and there are a couple more who've expressed interest as well so there are options :) And we like it here so we're not desperate to go, we just know it needs to happen. You'll figure something out that works for you as well, I'm sure.
I did speak to the neighbour about not being here to have her pets and she was quite frosty and a bit off with me. Did throw me a bit - I haven't quite grown an unaffected skin in that regard. But my focus is me, my boy and our cat (whose holidays are already booked with the cattery so I know I don't have to worry about him). Onwards onwards lol xx
Hopalong:
A pang at your having to leave a home you've enjoyed, and Son too. But a raucous cheer that again, you're centered, calm, rational and ... well, centered in yourself is the best description.
Isn't it ironic that "self-centered" is a classic term for how women are viewed if they take charge of their lives, don't behave submissively, and make their own decisions? I think sometimes, with some personality traits, "selfish" is an extemely appropriate term. But your decisions these days are being guided by your own experience, wisdom, and awareness.
I'm so impressed. Still hope you'll have a bit of garden and happy cat. And that Son has embraced being a bit nomadic and will adjust to his new home when it happens.
hugs
Hops
sKePTiKal:
I'm liking the phrase "self-focused" - taking care of my own needs, doing what I have to do. Rather than other focused, people-pleasing... accommodating others at my own expense. It's putting oneself first and standing up for that priority.
It doesn't need to be announced or made a big deal of; but I think it's essential to finally assuming our good & proper relationship with ourselves and then our relationships outside ourselves. You're doing quite well in this progress Tupp.
As we're aging, our environmental priorities change. I deliberately bought a place with lots of steps, and of course there is the challenging topography, to at least chalenge myself minimally just doing the day to day. I'm kinda thinking I bit off more than I can chew... here lately. But then, my summer nemisis's - the heat, humidity & bugs - are in full onslaught. The AC in the studio went out and until that was fixed, not even that space was a refuge. I really need a big thunderstorm to blow in a cold front...
Twoapenny:
Yes, nodding, nodding, nodding. I think self centred, selfish etc are often used as a way to try to guilt someone into doing something they've no obligation to do. I have struggled a bit (with saying no to the pet care) as my mum's response to that would have been to bad mouth me to anyone who would listen. I have to put that back in it's box; they're different people and even if she does bad mouth me to others, well, it's not part of my life so I need to just let that go. Hang ups from other times is all. It is hard to untangle the hear and now from the past but bottom line is, her pets are not my responsibility (and truthfully I think it's crackers to ask someone else to look after dogs for an extended period of time - I'd be far too worried they wouldn't be looked after properly and would rather a professional do it if I didn't have someone close I knew I could trust). Yadaa yadaa.
I am gutted to be moving away, genuinely thought this was our forever home and it is beautiful, so much space, quiet and potential here. But I spend more time in the car here than I ever did anywhere else and not being able to pop anywhere to do something quickly means having to always be very organised and not being able to put things off until the next day, which I'm finding very tiring. Put my (now very) dodgy back in the mix and the fact that son's only doing about half of what he wants to do and is bored a lot of the time and it's not a good long term situation for us. Have looked into trying to set things up closer to home but the problem then is that others can't get here because we're too far out. So it doesn't work.
The upside is we have more space than we need so can swap with a family who have less space. The thought of little ones getting their own rooms for the first time or having a big garden to run and play in is nice. We'll still want a garden but a small one will do us. Again, I've been overwhelmed by all the gardening and don't have the time (or back strength!) to keep on top of it. So somewhere smaller, more urban, better transport links and so on, yep, those boxes will be good to tick.
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