Thought slams: sudden insights that surprise

[Hopalong]

 A revelation just hit me this morning and I literally cannot comprehend for the life of me why I never thought of this before. But it felt so real and instantly fit.

I now believe my Nmom was also on the spectrum. This belief arrived in an instant with great conviction. I'd guess she was on the low end, which used to be called Asperger's. I was thinking of her gaze and my D's gaze, and they were/are the same. How she never gave a warm or connecting eye contact, how she was unaffectionate -- not because she was intentionally withholding affection but because that behavior wasn't natural or comfortable for her. Or maybe she didn't recognize it. Her early life was about survival and suppression of many things.

Wow. It feels like a gift when a thought appears that has a loud ring of truth and also reveals or clarifies something you didn't even know needed more clarification.

Really am shocked it never occurred to me before. I thought N-ism was the ENTIRE explanation for her nature. I feel grateful that this thought arrived ("slammed" because it was such a surprise) and instantly added to understanding and peace.

hugs
Hops

[sKePTiKal]

So.... maybe the universe responded & sent you the thought JUST WHEN the time was most conducive to you having the revelation.  <big shrug> I dunno... where these come from or how they happen. I just know they DO happen.

Glad this opens a new perspective for you Hops.

[lighter]

With so much research/information available, now, it makes sense connections and dots start lining up, Hops.

I'm so glad it clarified and brought relief.

Lighter

[Hopalong]

Thanks, ((botha youse)).

It was just a lovely addition to my reasons for forgiving her more completely.

I've come to believe deeply that genetic stuff explains 90% of who we are. Hence, blame...even for people with personality disorders, is the wrong path.

It's a massive relief, and creates space for more unconditional love.

xxxxooo
hugs
Hops

[lighter]

Revisiting your thread, Hops.....
judgement, of all kinds, is not often helpful, IME.

When, my dear Bill. was alive and well, he said his T taught him to assume everyone was doing their best.  That brought him some peace....over his drunken father and years with a warring/suicide threatening PD wife..... generally, in all things.  It was a relief to stop wondering why, also. 

Lighter

[Hopalong]

Did Bill ever share why he didn't divorce this unstable wife?
Sad to spend years so poorly partnered (I spend 7 years that way, twice....)

hugs
Hops