Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Farm Journal - 2025

<< < (15/18) > >>

Hopalong:
Me too. UK cottages. Nice antidote to over-designed tiny houses (though I love the really individual ones) parked in stunning landscapes in NSW or NZ.

One of my favorites is a nerdy young gay guy in England who's lost both his parents and just moved to ab isolated rundown stone cottage in Ireland and is fixing it up, room by room and lots outdoors too.

I've enjoyed several women-in-wilderness ones too. Interesting. Never thought about how many times I'm drawn in by people living alone in wilderness or isolation, with only their camera for a friend, but talking to the world.

hugs
Hops

lighter:
Watching castle and chateau renovations, on a budget, make me feel so much lighter about my projects, Amber.  I also absorb creative solutions, I might otherwise not have on board.

Lighter

sKePTiKal:
Yup, there's a lot out there that can be helpful & interesting in little ways/big ways. I'm also watching the vids of people giving up & moving on - for whatever reason. A lot of people think any old person can make a homestead work. Then they find out how much hard work is involved in building/developing a property. How it's impossible to get up & travel when you have animals.

Then, there are the people who find their individual "self" and freedom to BE, in their projects. Whether it's gardening, preserving, learning to lime wash & point stone walls... Building complex roofs. And the work become their joy.

I'm also watching a LOT of sewing vids. Historical fashion and techniques. Fancy dress patternmaking, tailoring. It's hitting the part of the summer, when I'll take refuge in the studio because it's too awful outside for me to work.

Still have some herbs to plant & garden to weed & tend; still have marigolds to get in out there. But I have to get motivated/moving VERY early in the morning to do so. Some days don't work out that way. And it's OK with me, that it doesn't get done RIGHT NOW. It's not going anywhere.

lighter:
Oh....I like the historical fashion/sewing vids too.  The girls sew, so it pops up in my feed. Very interesting.

About giving up .....on homesteading....
on anything really.

It's not giving up/failing, to put down something that's not working, IME.  It's facing reality, and turning towards something that can work. 

That's the thing about judging......it's builds an unhelpful story around things, that otherwise can just be what they are, sans all the chemical dumps, IME.

Not failing/giving up. 
Discerning, and pivoting, yup yup yup.

And the lime washing and repointing.  Is there anything more satisfying to watch?  I'm not sure there is.  Check out Castle Impossible.  Love it.

Lighter

sKePTiKal:
Well I finally got a BREAK from the 'piling on' of things needing done... and drama. AFTER I had one of those nuclear explosion type of wielding the power of my "station in life". I was watching one situation quietly with intuition & observation fully engaged for months - and I had to stop it before it got completely out of control.

There is a list of things that this Mercury Retrograde dropped on us - all of us. Big and little. I just finallly reached the "Make it STOP" point.

Knuckles suddenly got ill; spent the night at Emergency Vet for extensive testing. He has Addison's Disease. It's an extreme hormonal imbalance. Left untreated it can be fatal.

Hol was already beside herself upset, because contractor friend was working on a purely cosmetic "fun" project he'd been asked to help with. There were problems with every aspect of this project, from the get-go. Starting with: he'd spec'd incredibly heavy beams, that he was going to timberframe (with no experience and only 1 very young and inexperienced helper) WITHOUT any communication at all with Hol ('coz she is a "bitch") except to make her his go-fer for tools, supplies, etc that he didn't/couldn't bring to do the job.

Friend also brought along his 6 yo son, because Mom was about to deliver little sibling and expected me to entertain, and watch him. (Note that I'm paying him for his work and not getting paid for "childcare"). He wouldn't eat any foods at meals; not hotdogs; not pizza, not more than 3 bites of yogurt for breakfast. Dad said he could eat any snack from the box, throughout the day. Kid never left their room all week. Stayed on his computer the whole time, except to grab a snack. Despite having an en suite room, had an accident one day. OH, and he would only demand my attention if there was a bug in his room - which he was so terrified of bugs, he'd have screaming meltdowns over moths swarming the porchlight. Kid would NOT interact with me, didn't ask questions, and would look away when I asked him.

I'd heard suspicions that kid had suffered neglect & abuse - at Mom's. I didn't press him, just kept trying to offer foods he liked: watermelon & strawberries - and then he didn't eat them. By Thursday I was DONE. Beyond frustrated; fielding Hol's complaints about friend not even keeping her in the loop about dog management, trips to go-fer, or even how things were going. Friend's complaints about Hol. And his worst sin, was running B ragged trying to find the kinds of tools needed and using him all day long without ASKING or appreciating B's limitations.

Then he asked to get paid a day early, so he could get to the bank and go shopping for more drill bits he insisted were required. Hol & I had that afternoon to compare notes. That was the evening I became 10 ft. tall, and ballistic. It was late & the guys were proceeding to make a rowdy porch evening of it after I THOUGHT he'd put the kid to bed; I'd gone to bed - and they were THAT loud. Told him he was DONE; and I expected him to leave in the morning. Did.

He will NOT be back. Until he actually talks to Hol and explains himself; apologies aren't accepted as sincere.

I understood the scope of the project. I understood the heat & humidity was brutal. I understood he had no clear plan from the beginning, much less the tools to accomplish it. It was a total shitshow and the icing on the cake was his entitled bossy attitude with Hol, B and I the whole time. I am still angry over the dishonesty. There is SOMETHING going on with him, that was never brought up.

That was the biggest thing. Then B and I started working on the rest of the list - only to be informed on one of Hol's trips to the vet, that the sirens I'd heard early that morning was from an accident taking out ALL our mailboxes at the end of the road, at the highway. SIGH. MORE stuff to "do".

On our necessary errand trip and to pick up mail at PO, my phone rang 4 times; one after the other. Because I just don't drive and talk, I pulled over and called Hol back. She was hysterical and crying. She'd been string trimming at her place and sliced into a yellow jacket nest. In 15 mins she was swollen & covered in hives; severe allergic reaction. I was still 10 mins from home. She said she couldn't wait; was dropping Knuckles at my house and driving to ER. Yes, it was anaphylaxis. She now has 2 epipens. B needs some too - but we're very careful of his allergies. This was the first time she's ever reacted this severely; but we probably should've known after her poison ivy reaction the month before. 911 not an option; it would've taken 20 mins to get here and another 20 to get to hospital. Brave lass is determined to survive.

The close call endeth (I fervently HOPE) our litany of woes for awhile. It has certainly impacted her way of just diving in on things and being more careful; not pressing her luck. This week, we've just been lazy and enjoying the cooler weather. Recovering. Resting.

The necessary consultations have begun on the elevator project. It's going to be slow-moving thing until I'm comfortable with the contractors, then things should move right along. I've been just luxuriating in not having any "have tos" hanging over our heads. Whew!

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

[*] Previous page