Author Topic: Farm Journal - 2025  (Read 1827 times)

Hopalong

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Re: Farm Journal - 2025
« Reply #30 on: May 08, 2025, 10:27:34 AM »
Enjoy your brief solitude, you've earned it over and over!

The happy art hunt caught my attention because when I was selling everything I could to increase my down payment, one thing was a very old edition of a book illustrated by Rackham, with those loose (except at one end) color plates in it.

I have in my bedroom a limited edition Sendak print that he inscribed for me and signed when he visited the University for something. That was exciting. It's the lion indoors near a door, looking back over his shoulder at the viewer with a small white dog by his side. From Where the Wild Things are. I also got a wonderful kitchen scene with chefs and tools he did but believe my ex wound up with it.

That bathroom sounds beautiful. Maybe except for skulls, but I lack the happy associations with those that tattoo artists understand. And what a cool thing to create with Hol in mind.

Enjoy the kid-free, other-people free time, and those fabulous kitties. Kuckles too. Wish I knew what he looks like, since I am dawg obsessed.

hugs
Hop
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

sKePTiKal

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Re: Farm Journal - 2025
« Reply #31 on: May 09, 2025, 06:26:35 AM »
Knuckles is white with pink skin; tannish brown spots - like a beagle almost. And under the white hair which is really thin, he has grayish black spots - like a dalmation. Big ole pitbull head & pretty broad chest - but he's really a medium sized dog compare to Kiri. She has the height and size of her setter & pyrenees parents. A formidable guardian dog - pyrenees have killed wolves & coyotes to protect their flocks, herds or children charges. Knuckles is just everyone's friend and playful and cuddly. He hasn't faired too well trying to make friends with wildlife...

A friend of Hol's found him as a puppy living on the street in Baltimore. It had been about a year since she lost her border collie and Ghengis - another lovable but giant pitbull. So I've watched Knucks grow up, he is the epitome of the gentleman ambassador for the canine species! Hol went out of her way to train him to verbal commands and to make him feel safe... so except for a little food aggression/protectiveness he's become a sweetheart. When he was in his running/chasing phase as a puppy, I'd call him back with an old Swiss cowbell - it rings loud and clear and a pretty high tone. Now, I just have to call him.

He has highly developed empathic ability for a dog. And will ask when he needs snuggles too. No trouble at all for me to take care of while she's out gallivanting - and given the improvement in her mental state, attitude, and emotional stability lately I think she's dropping some of the "over" part of over-responsibility. We're both happier as a result.
« Last Edit: May 09, 2025, 06:28:30 AM by sKePTiKal »
Success is never final, failure is never fatal.

Hopalong

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Re: Farm Journal - 2025
« Reply #32 on: May 09, 2025, 10:45:42 AM »
Awwww, wish I could hug him. A pitbull prince--I've watched a zillion pitbull rescue stories (Pitbulls and Parolees for one). Howdy, Knuckles! Lucky boy.
And y'all are superb at dog-naming, btw. GENGHIS? Hilarious.

Pup's name basically means, "I'm bigger than you think I am." Makes people laugh. He arrived as Thor so the rescue lady had major ambitions for him, I think. Hey, 14 pounds is very respectable and when he does his Rin Tin Tin imitation on my knees, I sure feel it!

The freaking autocorrect typed "pitfalls" instead of "pitBULLs." Wrong wrong wrong! I know most of them are perfect nannies, love bugs and goofballs. Exactly perfect. And I love the way you describe and appreciate him.

hugs
Hops
« Last Edit: May 09, 2025, 04:01:17 PM by Hopalong »
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

sKePTiKal

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Re: Farm Journal - 2025
« Reply #33 on: May 10, 2025, 06:52:22 AM »
I'd much rather have the instinctive cooperation of an animal, than teach it only to repond to commands. Yeah, sometimes it's necessary...

Hol doesn't see things that way. It's OK. Between the two approaches he's become well rounded. I don't do too well with names - Hol named her buddies. One of her kitties is "Sassafras" - and she is a ferocious one! B named Pickles, after I flailed around trying on different monikers. Lucy was easy... Stinker was self-naming - LOL.

Wish me well - today's challenge is hanging wallpaper in the studio powder room. I claimed "knowing how to do this" and Hol stepped back and said "it's all yours!" LOLOLOL. It's too fiddly for her, I think. I want to get it done, so she doesn't watch me paste myself in the process.... a person need 8 hands unless they're amazingly lucky.
Success is never final, failure is never fatal.

Hopalong

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Re: Farm Journal - 2025
« Reply #34 on: May 10, 2025, 09:05:01 AM »
We'll, it'll be interesting for B to come home and find you mummified in gorgeous wallpaper...

GOOD LUCK!

hugs
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

lighter

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Re: Farm Journal - 2025
« Reply #35 on: May 10, 2025, 09:25:06 AM »
I'm getting the steamer out....removing wallpaper.  Good luck with putting it up, Amber.

Did you guys feel that earthquake?

Hopalong

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Re: Farm Journal - 2025
« Reply #36 on: May 10, 2025, 09:36:20 AM »
NO, but if I was asleep it prolly wouldn't awaken me.
Years back we had a significant one...it shook the building I was in and made little waves in the parking lot. Really scary sensation to stand on gently rolling pavement but although a few buildings collapsed in a little town east of here, no deaths thankfully.

One reason that although I love visiting California, I'd skip living there.

What does a mountain feel like in an earthquake? Any trees down?

hugs
Hops
PS Agnostic thought of the day: If there is a heaven, it's probably a private club I can't afford.
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

Hopalong

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Re: Farm Journal - 2025
« Reply #37 on: May 10, 2025, 11:44:34 PM »
I hear it was a 4.something and was felt from Atlanta to Knoxville, but there's also a comment on a local forum about feeling it. Guess I slept through it this time.

shudder, etc--
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

lighter

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Re: Farm Journal - 2025
« Reply #38 on: May 11, 2025, 08:45:46 AM »
I thought something fell on the roof l, then I thought a train was rumbling next to the house, then my brain said that wasn't possible so I stood to go see if a helicopter was trying to land on the house and it stopped. 

The roof, mainly was making noise.... tinkling of glass.

My sister thought I was shaking her bed.  DD22 thought a ghost was shaking her bed and lamps. DD24 knew what it was immediately, across town, and they lost power 4 times at her workplace.

I haven't seen more trees down than normal.

I bet Amber felt it.

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sKePTiKal

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Re: Farm Journal - 2025
« Reply #39 on: May 11, 2025, 09:47:47 AM »
Nope, didn't feel a thing! Up here there's so much bedrock that we would rarely notice. I get a weird disorientation when earthquakes happen - I was in Kitty Hawk, when that one in Central Va hit - and I thought there was something wrong with me!

I have survived the trial of matching skulls & roses in a 5x8 bathroom with a big vanity across the back wall. I'm opting for "feature wall" now... and in a bit, Knuckles & I will go back out and I'll paint the wall opposite the paper.

Looking back at yesterday, I think I revisited "the zone" while papering. Took my time sorting out prep... picking out music... planning... and then just doing. By the time I remembered I hadn't eaten or had anything much to drink... Knuckles let his needs be known. I keep some snacks out there and the fridge is stocked with plenty to drink... but I was workin'. Knuckles has some treats there.

That's more my style of working - getting all organized first, with room to work - than Hol's just dive in and then have to locate supplies, tools, etc. That's a great approach for demo, but not so much for "creation". But she does good work with a total swirl of bits & bobs, piles on top of tools, etc when she's designing... it's just not my process. AND my process is solitary - I'm used to spending hours, most of a day alone working.

It'll take half an hour to paint this wall. Then I can spend the day shopping online for appropriate art prints. I have a couple of small erotic art prints... one is framed; the image is 1x2". But I'm looking for Fin de Siecle posters, small prints, a collection of things. The illustrations I mentioned previously. And not just for the bathroom. Gertrude Stein style salons are something we use the studio for, from time to time. Out here in the boonies of WV, with little to no perception of the "outside world" there will be gatherings of Amazons - some well behaved men allowed - where we empty out our heads, support each other, lead, push, guide, and laugh at everything including ourselves - and continue the ancient traditions.

Sometimes it's a sad time, sometimes it's warm & happy, sometimes it's hard - and easy times too. Just depends on what people are bringing with them. When I moved in, this room was already an art studio. BUT, it was all one color of what can only be called "dirty white", it was hot in summer, cold in winter, and the overall ambiance was dreary and institutional - no matter how much Hol & I tried to dress it up. We've mostly fixed that. And there are still ongoing decisions.

I have a couple of solid oak bookcases (Costco, no less, back in the "old days" of the early '00s.) And I have pared down the library to some classics, my gardening, sewing & art reference books - some Whole Earth catalogs & homesteading references - and Hol doesn't like the bookcases because they're tall (and extremely heavy). That wall space would be better used with art, she believes. I can't part with the bookcases, mostly because it's almost impossible to find solid wood furniture these days. But, I did get a couple low shelves to provide a home for Micheal's album collection (it's huge; the Zappa section crosses over two cubbies). And I see her point of view about how the height is closing in the room. There are windows at waist height all the way around and even though the bookcases are between two windows... the vertical height DOES read like a stop sign. So I imagine that over time, there will be ongoing changes & upgrades in there.

We still have a lot of tools and supplies in that room, and it's hiding the custom cabinets I had built. Boy do they suck up and keep safe a LOT of fabric! Maybe I could retain the same cabinet maker to solve the bookcase issue? I'll think on that.

Looks like we're going to get a lot more rain next week - so gardening might have to happen between raindrops! But at least we'll be done in the studio except for "arranging" and cleaning.
Success is never final, failure is never fatal.

lighter

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Re: Farm Journal - 2025
« Reply #40 on: May 11, 2025, 12:50:46 PM »
Oh, gardening, in the rain......is easy digging!!!

I'm trying to muster up the energy, and will, to release clothes, bags of "useful" things and things I can replace, if needed. 

Just to clear up space.....
and it's really hard🫨

I know I'll feel better.  I know it'll be ok....but.... it's tough to get started....make the plan, the go, IME.

You sound like you're making progress, Amber.  It makes me want to jump in and make decisions on book cases, armoire and beds.....again.

And maybe have a big wall mural/landscape painted, by the girls. 

Love the idea of safe Amazon processing spaces, Amber. 

Lighter

sKePTiKal

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Re: Farm Journal - 2025
« Reply #41 on: May 12, 2025, 08:00:26 AM »
The Amazon processing idea, obviously started here on the board. But the manifestation of it here, happened with Hol's moving here. I know most of her friends. And as Hol processed the how/why/what could've been done differently of her relationships she leaned heavily on those ladies. I am only one person with my experiences and I don't have some secret wise woman teaching to impart... just the things I've learned.

Several of her closer friends have lost their moms. I've served as a substitute they could borrow; one lost her partner to cancer on top of that while I was still grieving Mike... and we had a long, middle of the night confessional comparing notes and laughing about some of our anger fits in the middle of grieving.

There's no "schedule"; it seems to be emotional critical mass that "makes it so". And it might just be a phase - we'll see. But there is another planned for June; Hol's oldest step-sister will be coming, prompting Hol to invite Amy... and their old friend from HS who will try to persuade another old friend to join up with them, and the other ladies. Amy's presence can make mine problematic, so I don't count on my participation being welcome. We'll wing it. There is enough space here for people to move in various zones and not interact.

Yeah, I thought I'd done the bulk of the work of clearing out; purging FINALLY when we got into redecorating the studio. There are still some piles of things I haven't dealt with. I'm not sure what the attachment is... so I might address that while she's gone. Then, there's B moving in... and sometimes I feel like I'm drowning in "stuff" again. His "stuff" is useful - sometimes. I just keep reminding myself it could be worse - he's getting shed of a lot of stuff down south and not even moving it. I didn't have enough time, even in a year, with help, to accomplish that.

I think over time, our needs and preferences change; our aesthetic changes too. So that's why we find ourselves "recycling" the things surrounding us.
Success is never final, failure is never fatal.

Hopalong

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Re: Farm Journal - 2025
« Reply #42 on: May 12, 2025, 09:44:00 AM »
One of my favorite ideas about purging stuff is just cobbled together from a combo of books I read about simplicity, frugality and minimalism.

If I think of the excess stuff as like the trickle of electricity that goes nonstop to feed unnecessary power eaters (always-on appliances, etc)....it adds waste, distracts me from being present, hurts the planet, threatens landfill, etc etc. I didn't put this clearly at all, but it's thinking of the mental weight of too much physical stuff as a nonstop drain on my vital energy. Unseen and unconscious but always on.

Somebody who described it MUCH better said that even stuff you MIGHT use again one day is subconsciously on your mind. (You know you're responsible for caring for it, at some level, so there's even a charge of guilt for having too much). Impedes clarity and reduces openness to the present and its presences. Trickling away. Made sense to me.

One day when I was repeating my moan about paperwork chaos for the umpteenth time, a friend said, "Do you ever think about just throwing it all away?" I laughed then but these days, I wonder. Victor Frankl asked, what's the worst that could happen? Then really conjure it up, and ask yourself: what are my choices in that moment? Extrapolate: what are my choices now?

The other idea about it, at the consuming end, is always pausing to consider need versus want (or craving). That one's pretty easy for me. Tight income and hate to shop. Ta da.

The motivating part is freedom. I do feel so much more free when I have more openness and simplicity around me, visually. I even think my favorite goblin, ADHD, is greatly affected by visual clutter. Not because I'm tasteful or talented (though at my best, I think I've got an interesting and joyful style) -- but because I feel so happy even just visualizing a place that combines serenity and joy. Open areas, color embraced in every direction.

My favorites on walls: a soft blue called Uplift (Sherwin Wms or Behr, I forget) in bedroom, a deep dill green on wall behind piano, the soft warm gray in LR, outer kitchen, and back "big room", and even the strange Caucasian-flesh-Crayon one I had mixed for the rest of the kitchen. Kind of peach without the blush in it. The outside of the house is a soft gray-green, with a happy-bright blue front door.

Time for me to stop visualizing and start filling those bags. After I get the rest of the annuals in planters, etc. Biggest obstacle to that is my back, natch. Need a new hose and I'm going to get one of those ultra-light stretchy ones. 200 feet for the veggie beds, and it'll come around back of house to reach patio planters too.

hugs
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

sKePTiKal

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Re: Farm Journal - 2025
« Reply #43 on: Today at 07:40:45 AM »
Clutter wears on me, day to day. When that stretches to weeks - I take action. I used to have a twinge of guilt when it was "otheer people's clutter", but no more. I will ASK first and if it remains I start dealing with it. B's "I was gonna get that" tells me that he doesn't even notice it; I just tell him I got there first. Some people don't have the same low threshold for clutter, that I do. And when my life elsewhere is more stressful - clutter anxiety tolerance drops even lower. It's something I CAN control, ya know?

I was thinking about this in the studio with Knuckles. Half of one bookcase are my collection of art books (the other half is gardening related) - from the 80s till now. Impressionists, printmakers, Wyeth, Odion Redon (I have a soft spot for surrealists). The main reason I have them is to study how the images "speak", create a message, provide meaning. Why in the world do I still have these? They're oversized; I've moved 'em at LEAST 3 times in my life; it's not like "my work" depends on having instant access to them power & internet be damned... because I'm NOT working. That's not who I am anymore; at least during this "present moment" of time. There's a cupboard full of various art supplies & brushes - some of them still usable from the 80's... or earlier. A caddy of paint.

Is it a status thing? It is entertainment when there's discussion of various "art" topics? How long has it been since I discussed "art" with anyone? And how serious was the discussion?

No. No, I think "art" was something that served several purposes for me before T helped me unravel some of the frustrating aspects of being me. It allowed me long stretches of solitude, private time, uninterrupted as I "created"... people respected that space. That gave me long stretches to process things and think long & deeply about various "puzzles". It helped me have a definable "identity" - an ego, is another way to put it. And it was FUN pushing that, playing with it. Nowadays, it's not so much fun for me. I could take it or leave it. I'm being creative in OTHER WAYS. And after studying & thinking & dreaming about "images" and how they can/could contain meaning...

I've come to the conclusion that all "images" are simply code; like mandalas that symbolize certain emotions, experiences, truths (or lies), thoughts that repel magnetically from various "givens" or expectations. Like hieroglyphics or celtic knotwork... it's a form of language that isn't saying anything esoterically important; it's mundane stuff like "remember to wash your hands", pick up your socks, and be kind to other people.

It's a rainy day - all day today. Knuckles has gone home so there isn't the activity of the critters around me anymore. I started some feverfew yesterday for B's headaches, since last year's died thirsty. I have hot peppers to crush up and carpet to wash. Cobweb's to police. I have grocery run and a couple more errands... then, who knows?
Success is never final, failure is never fatal.

Hopalong

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Re: Farm Journal - 2025
« Reply #44 on: Today at 12:56:57 PM »
Feels to me as though you also embrace the art of thinking: being present with your own mind, respecting and valuing your own thought, and it's beautiful that you do.

The outer bits, a la mebbe more books than you need to keep, are just a fulcrum to what you want to get to.

I think you live a very realized life, Amber. And nobody, EVER, lives a completely realized life. What's super neat about you is how close to come to it.

hugs and admiration,
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."