Author Topic: What would you think about this comment?  (Read 76536 times)

mudpuppy

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« Reply #390 on: May 12, 2005, 09:37:27 AM »
Hi OR,

Don't know if this will help, but this site has all the california legal codes in it.
You can learn quite a bit here. Just click on the central button that says Calif Law. It takes you to a search engine. Pretty easy but kind of time consuming.

http://www.leginfo.ca.gov/

I don't know about discovery regarding medical records. If he is claiming a disability to you and you state that as a cause for supervised visits or some other legal reason it seems likely that you could at least force him to be examined again. I know if a person makes a claim in court for a personal injury the opposing party has the right to have them examined. Don't know if this extends to your case though.
Good luck.

mudpup

OR

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« Reply #391 on: May 17, 2005, 06:26:41 AM »
Mud, thanks for the great web site I have looked lots to see.

I have to go to work, just a quick note My D just checked out H's web site where he comments about his young fans making lustful remarks.
She tells him how rude he sounds. I told her about his MENTAL concers for her own saftey.

He had not told his buds we left to Dallas. Some of them are just now getting the word he is expecting her to arrive soon. (not until I get the court making me). They are goin to know now.

Im late OR

OR

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« Reply #392 on: May 25, 2005, 09:48:01 PM »
Hi to everyone, I have been working on my legal papers for the OSC
They got sent back for some minor details but it worked out for the best.

As time is passing my H has sent enough e-mails to prove my fears about sending my D to him in CA.

The last sheet of paper attached shows how all the other e-mails make sense. He has lied about his money the SSI money for our D even makes a threat of "do what he says or else."

He admits to having over 5,000 of our D's SSI money he has now spent on an attorney and plans on getting it back. His papers say he has no money and Im to pay for all the fees. This e-mail confirms lie after lie.

 He is so mad at me for having the prior 10 yr old custody papers, telling me to stop showing it around.  How is is old and not valid.

He will be upset when he gets the copies of all the emails of his rude comments, how the few times I have responded he writes back how he can't read my emails because he can't afford to be upset or his eye sight is bad. I asked him to send me a copy of his MS brain scan but I only get his response Don't worry it's not my problem. I told him our D is not going anywhere unless I feel it's safe.

I asked the Judge to please review my concerns why I can not trust my H to return our D to TX. His many health problems and mental issues with MS and his many comments about his lack of money.

He makes several comments about how I left him in  the cold to die, but I have an email from his brother how he was going to leave both my D and
I, around the time he tells me he would shoot me if I move to TX.  

I was going to hold back on the emails but felt unsure about the judge not getting the whole picture of the possible danger our D could be in.

Today she tells me she does not want to go to CA that my H is still saying things to make her feel he may not let her come back to TX. She wants to go to KS to see her Grandpa, my Father.

She never wants to call him and the last time he called here she was on the phone with her friend and told him she was too busy to talk.
When he does talk to her she doesn't say much it's all about him.

This is a condensed of the last e-mail.


i
Quote
have a good attorney
you have 2 strikes against you
i still even though you left me at deaths door hoping i would die


play fair or else ( & it;s out of my hands) be under the judgement in court
 
I paid $5,800 for Desirae beneits to an attorney
 
I expect to recoup that money
especially for back benefits that have not been sent
 



This note below was the next day after the above note, unbelivable.
 
i
Quote
don't force myself on anyone
you wanted out of the marrage
i gave it to you
d dosen't want to visit
she dosen't have to
i'm not gonna ask again
 
if your job dosen't work out & you wanna come here you can
i miss having you & d around
 
but it's not in my nature to be pushy



 I can't believe he would spend any money after he pleads how poor he is, I have asked for an audit of the spending and a copy of the 5,000 check.

This memorial weekend was the time 28yrs ago we met.

I have met some nice people here and started selling Arabonne products. I think its a way to make new friends and a little money on the side.

The Minister of the chruch we go to is on the radio here, Ed Young JR. I
have met a lot of friends and going to dinner with a few after chruch this sunday. I have a nice car to drive to work and my job is going great.

Keep us all in your prayers. I will not ever want my old life back but would want somehow for my H to have healing in his mind, before he does something more crazy than he already has.


Take Care to all here and I will do the same.   OR

longtire

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« Reply #393 on: May 25, 2005, 10:58:10 PM »
((((((((((OR)))))))))))

Sounds like you are starting to get more positive situations and people in your life.  Take care of yourself and just keep going.  You and your D are still in my prayers and your move still inspires me. :)

P.S.  I'm glad to hear that it is not in your H's nature to be pushy.  I'd hate to see/hear what it would be like if he was.  :shock:
longtire

- The only thing that was ever really wrong with me was that I used to think there was something wrong with *me*.  :)

mum

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« Reply #394 on: May 26, 2005, 12:49:26 AM »
You know, OR, I still think about you often...you are doing amazing things with your life.  It is very sad that your daughter has such a sick loser for a dad, but you have done a wonderful thing for her, by showing her a different way to live.  I have no doubt that you will continue along this path.  Your ex is indeed left in the dust, but it's a choice HE made, as he does not have the mental, emotional or spiritual capacity to make any other choice.  Keep on, brave woman!!  His instabiltiy is very apparant in those emails... I know the wheels of justice go SLOWLY, but just do as I do...keep one foot in front of the other and keep on moving on with YOUR life.  Things will settle.  Happiness is already coming to your doorstep.

Brigid

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« Reply #395 on: May 26, 2005, 09:23:36 AM »
OR,
So glad to hear that your life continues to improve in your new hometown.  You have demonstrated such amazing strength and courage.  I think some day (when life settles down a bit) you should offer your services to a women's shelter as an example of someone who did escape abuse and started their life anew.  You could be a great inspiration to many women in abusive situations.  

I continue to hold you and your daughter in my prayers.

Brigid

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« Reply #396 on: June 01, 2005, 11:48:47 AM »
OR:

I have been off my computer for about 2 weeks.  Thought I would check in finally!

I can only reiterate that he is digging the biggest hole for himself.  Your daughter is signaling that it is going to be a no for a CA visit.  
He will of course blame you, brainwashing the D against him, leaving him while he was so sick, bailing out when things got tough..........blah blah blah.  Well as the saying goes "what now"?

He is reaping the whirl wind of his nness.  As far as him using the SSI money for the lawyer because he is so sure he is going to win?  When the judge gets a load of what he has done (if in fact he has done this) he is going to have to pay it back with interest.  The SSI money is not meant for lawyer fees but for your daughters support and welfare.  He is not tangling with the state government but with the Feds on this level.  He is a complete nut bar.

Use the emails or anything else for your security and your daughters.

Again hello everyone and it is good to be back.

Much love to you OR and your D.
Patz

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« Reply #397 on: June 01, 2005, 01:36:27 PM »
Hi OR:

I'm still thinking of you often and keeping you in my prayers too.  Glad you get a chance to post and let us know how things are going.

He just keeps racking up balls against himself, doesn't he?

Good for you for having the courage to voice your concerns to the judge.

It's good to read about the good things happening for you and C too!!  And the best thing is to read you saying you would never go back!   That means you know you made the right decision and it feels right!!  That sounds very comforting and brings peace into your life eh?  So glad you're safe and happy there!!

I like Brigid's idea too!  (Brigid!!  You have some really cool ideas!!)  If you feel like it some time, OR, I think you would be an amazing support to others trying to escape terror.  That's what it is isn't it?  A life of terror....wondering what might happen next......afraid to move.....in case it happens......afraid not to......in case it happens.......and then.....using your courage.......to escape .....regardless of the terror, maybe in the midst of it!!  You really are a heroine OR!!!

(((((((OR)))))))

GFN

OR

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« Reply #398 on: June 03, 2005, 08:23:28 PM »
Hi to everyone, I have been avoiding the computer so I would avoid my e-mail for a few days.

I just read an e-mail that he is telling me what Im to do
this is only an e-mail, nothing has been mailed to me and I have already requested from the courts an OSC.
Im waiting for a court date and will be sending him the hearing date when I get it.  I have requested a telephone hearing so I should not have to come to court.

MY H wrote:

Quote
My attorney told me to communicate some things to you
#1 bring D on Aug 8th
#2 You make me feel D is your possession, by hiding her for over 120 days
#3 Telling me I can see her if I do what you say
I expect you to paint me black on Aug 8th.
But it is the behavior you are doing, that changed the laws to joint custody. women using the children to torture the ex spouse.
Those days are over
 
I had to by my attorneys request, give my version of events for the up coming Aug 8th session with us & the judge
 
Trials are over, it's me you & d, alone in the judges chambers
fighting only traumatizes the child
That's why divorces are no longer trials & joint custody is the modern way
Come into the 21st century or get counseling



Our D has a letter that he sent over 2weeks ago, she has not opened it and I'm not talking about it. She is afraid he won't let her come back to TX if she goes there to visit.  I try not to speak of him so she won't repeat what I say. I only say what needs to be noted like for her to tell me if she has concerns about what he might say.

Patz


Quote
He is reaping the whirl wind of his nness. As far as him using the SSI money for the lawyer because he is so sure he is going to win? When the judge gets a load of what he has done (if in fact he has done this) he is going to have to pay it back with interest. The SSI money is not meant for lawyer fees but for your daughters support and welfare. He is not tangling with the state government but with the Feds on this level. He is a complete nut bar.

 


I have felt so numb but wanting to stay quiet inside.
At times I want to tell my H that I know he was telling me how sick he is and feel sorry for him was only to keep me off guard, I needed to be more patient with him when he would throw his fits.
People that manipulate others to get what they want.
I now understand what a scam it was.

I do see doctor reports to make be believe a lot of his problems were real.
I'ts the excuse for the abuse,  I no longer allow to keep me under his control.
I write it down to tell him how hurtful it was but never send a response.
I choose not to defend myself, knowing he is unstable, makes it useless.

I do want him to get help and want the judge to review my papers to make him get help. I have a difficult time seeing what a mess he is putting himself in.  I need to just let it happen to him and try not to think about him and the problems he is causing for himself.
He needs to have the Law or something break him of his hurtful ways.

I will write more later.

Bridget and all of you thanks for the encouragement to know I can be an inspration to others. Thank you all so much.   OR

mudpuppy

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« Reply #399 on: June 03, 2005, 08:34:04 PM »
Thanks for the update OR.
Don't feel so sorry for the screwup that you let your guard down.
Praying for you to stay strong.

mudpup

OR

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« Reply #400 on: June 04, 2005, 11:27:37 AM »
I just got this e-mail from him I don't know if he is confessing he has this money and wants me to tell him what I know about it.

It sounds like he is trying to say I got this money, I didn't know how much until now but he is setting up his story for the lawyer trying to explain a lie. I think he knows he is in big trouble and how he just today got this letter????? This will be intresting.


Quote
I just got a copy of the letter for back pay from SDI
 
The period when i recieved $14 dollars till I went of workmans comp till you took Desirae
 
Now i see it was money that made you not send Desirae
 
I'll send a copy to my attorney
I paid $5800 for That & I have proof
 
Care to comment?
 


I wrote more but lost it all when I got kicked off the computer will write more later. OR

mum

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« Reply #401 on: June 04, 2005, 12:28:12 PM »
OR: I have a hard time following your ex's emails.  They seem very stream of consiousness (like I should be a critic, huh?)...and that consiousness is very confused.

Are you including them verbatim? I mean, is that what he really sends?
If so, I would think someone in the medical or psychological community would have to take a look at those and maybe they could interpret/evaluate them?

I think his writings (and you say he has a blog or something as well?) would be mighty interesting when it comes to getting visitation with your daughter.

Best to you, I think you are doing great!

OR

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« Reply #402 on: June 04, 2005, 06:01:41 PM »
Mum this is a copy and paste what he sent me today.

sometimes I may not send the whole thing but this is how he writes to me. I think sometimes he writes so I will think he can't see.

I have to go to Dallas will write later   OR

OR

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« Reply #403 on: June 05, 2005, 10:03:14 AM »
Hi everyone

Wanted to say I got my OSC date of Aug 1st.

I can't tell you how much better I feel knowing I now have on record a plea to keep our D safe.

I have not received anything in the mail yet, but I'm able to access the information on-line. The on-line information is very detailed about what has been filed and who filed on what day.

I think now my H is squirmming, reaching for me to reveal what I have exposed about him.
The on-line information shows he is Pro-Per, not able to pay for the court cost. How could another lawyer take his case knowing the case is filed already?

I think from his last e-mail he will play the "I don't remember receiving the WC, SSI, back-pay" game. He makes it sound like even though he had a direct deposit account set up for our D in his name, I have somehow taken the money from him and he wants me to comment?


This will be very intresting, I hope the judge will see my H needs help at many levels, making him be accountable for taking care of his problems not to blame everyone else. Taking him out of my life where I will not be responsible for him and making it safe for all involved I will be less stressed.

For now I can make plans to have our D visit her Grandparents.

Amen!  OR

sleepyhead

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« Reply #404 on: June 05, 2005, 11:28:41 AM »
Hi OR!
Keeping my fingers crossed for you and your daughter, doesn't sound as if you need it though, you seem to have plenty of documentation of how warped his mind is. Good luck!
Rip it to shreds and let it go - Garbage