MrT: My N parents want to see me after 3 years of no contact

[Anonymous]

Mr T,

I'm glad you made it through the visit! Ns who are seriously ill may refuse to talk about their death and may refuse to make any arrangements. They prefer to be in a sort of denial while making others feel uncomfortable and guilty.

One request... please don't bring an 8 year old into that house of horrors again. He's probably traumatized.    Does he really need to recognize these disturbed people? You even feared your dad would attack you! That's not a place for a child, okay...?

{{{ Mr T }}}

bunny

[flower]

Hi Mr T.

Glad it is over with. Your parents talking about trucks and home improvements sound like my parents. Denial with a giant capital D the size of Mount Everest.  Last summer my dad kept wanting me to get over my problem with my mom so that I could come see his new deck.

Anyway, I think I *may* understand the baseball bat thing. It is like these people are in so much denial we feel they are capable of anything. But they don't ever go that far - we hope. I think it is their lack of conscience and/or sensitivity that causes this fear to rise up in me. At one time I was afraid to eat at my mom's. I think my reaction is a response to the coldness and unrealness of the N person. Of course it may be that your dad abused you in the past. I think the fear the sting of my dad's belt and my mom's silent treatment still echos in my emotions. I felt she was capable of destroying me by cutting me off emotionally.

flower
P.S. You can always change your phone number if you have to.