Author Topic: Threats...  (Read 2007 times)

ukgirl

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Threats...
« on: January 06, 2005, 04:40:16 AM »
hi all
its been a little while since i last wrote, and im still with my N bF....things havent improved. Ive threatened leaving, iv left (for and hour) then come back (stupid girl!) but that makes it worse coz then i get accused of being at a blokes house!!!???!!
but its the threats....he knows some nasty people, and im scared....not only for me but my family - they are innocent and i dont want them hurt...when do i take the threast seriously and when not...? He deals with hurt with violence so i know that i will never win either way - i feel so trapped, and it feels like i might end up doing something stupid.

Cadbury

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Threats...
« Reply #1 on: January 06, 2005, 05:29:32 AM »
If you are genuinely that worried for your own safety and that of your family then plan your leaving with great detail. Have a solicitor ready to serve papers asking that he not contact you or any members of your family or you will take things further legally (injunctions etc.) Anything he does, make sure you log it and report it to the police. Have somewhere to go that is safe. Take only what you need and leave fast. Remember money and material possessions mean nothing compared to your own peace of mind and enjoyment of life. These are just ideas off the top of my head, but they may help. I think that he knows that he can scare you and is using that as a last ditch attempt to keep you.Seeing as how if anything happened he would be the first suspect, he is unlikely to risk prison etc just to get back at you. From what I have been reading about N's he is entering a panic phase where he can see himself losing his supply. That is all (apinful as that is to hear). Remember he is an N so this is not about how he feels about you, more how he feels about how YOU feel for HIM. That is what he doesn't want to lose. You will not be bothered by him at all as soon as he finds someone else to stroke his ego.

Just leave for your own peace of mind, there is always a way. Look into your legal position, find a friend to confide in and get out while you have some remblance of sanity. Good luck and keep us posted.

ukgirl

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Threats...
« Reply #2 on: January 06, 2005, 05:37:34 AM »
Thanks for that Cadbury!! Hows things with you..??
you are right in what you say...and its exactly what i say about money and material things...and i know i need to plan this carefully too. im trying to look after myself...but its hard, so hard when everytime i do something for myself, he knocks me back down. I wasnt like this before - and i kow its wrong, but its so hard to get out of it all.
i just wanna shake myself awake!!!

Cadbury

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Threats...
« Reply #3 on: January 06, 2005, 05:53:22 AM »
I'm okay. Still fighting to get away fully. I am lucky in that we didn't live together, but I have had him turn up at my door and send his son in first. He alternates between building me up and then knocking me straight back down, but the less contact we have the less it can happen.

I know what you're going through believe me. Just try and stay strong and believe in yourself. If I can help in any way, then I will - just let me know! Take care.

guest 1

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Threats...
« Reply #4 on: January 06, 2005, 12:43:35 PM »
UK Girl - I noticed your location.  If someone is threatening you or your loved ones, there's nothing healthy for you in that relationship.  If he is mentally abusing you, ditto.

I don't know where you live or if you could move to another city?  Failing that, I'd move back to my family or in the last resort, I'd go to a woman's refuge.

Look after yourself.

Anonymous

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Threats...
« Reply #5 on: January 06, 2005, 12:50:17 PM »
Good point above Guest1. UKGirl you might also consider talking through your problems. See: http://www.womenstherapycentre.co.uk/therapy.shtml they're in North London. Or look in www.yell.com for therapists in your area. Talking it through could give you the confidence you need to leave.