Analogy for those who question our habits on this board

[Anonymous]

Fifteen people meet in an oncologist office every Wednesday night. They have been meeting for many years. Many have come and gone, many survived, others did not. They all share a common interest - their dagnosis, their pain, their questionable future. Some are in treatment, some are having a relapse, some will never heal. Some are realatives or close friends of victims of this terrible disease. They depend on this meeting each week. They appreciate each other for their kind words, listening ears, and shoulders to cry on.

On night a smiling lady walks in the meeting, interrupting all who are talking and beems!

She says "My goodness, look at you all. You were all here 5 years ago when I attended.
What is wrong with you?
Look at me. I've healed, and I'm enjoying my life!
I'm happy, what is wrong with you people?
Why are you all still here?
I've left and do not need this anymore.
Why do you think you need this still?
Why can't you all be as happy as I am?
Why can't you live like me?

You make me sick to my stomach coming in here seeing you all as you were 5 years ago, still crying on each others' shoulders. But then, it's all about me and I don't like you talking like this anymore. You should be ashamed of yourselves!"

       

[member as guest]

I might have missed something, but I can't help but wonder why that smiling woman returned to the cancer support group meeting if she had moved on? Beaming down on others who are suffering, no matter what the cause of their suffering, does not seem to be the behaviour of someone who has moved on!  Rather, it seems like the behavior of the sickest one of all.

[Anonymous]

The smiling woman is trying very hard to justify why she didn't continue with her own cancer treatment and eradicate it completely. Her cancer has grown and is now untreatable. But she doesn't want to know.

[shixie]

In every support group there usually is a leader of some sort.  That person no longer needs the support they once did.  They continue in the group to give back what once was given to them.  In hoping that their experience, knowledge and understanding may benefit someone whose shoes they once were in.  It is a very kind, caring and selfless act.

[onlyrenting1]

You make me sick to my stomach coming in here seeing you all as you were 5 years ago, still crying on each others' shoulders. But then, it's all about me and I don't like you talking like this anymore. You should be ashamed of yourselves!"

I think People that have had Cancer, like myself, find your Idea of recovery from the Emotional Pain from an N not comparable.

You must have your eyes covered with blindness not to see the growth we all share.
If you just want to be here to say others will not benifit from the help of others you're mislead.

You may be selfish to think your problems could be solved in your expected time frame. You should know Guilt and Shame is a personal problem. The fact that you use it here shows everyone how shallow you are.

It was fun keep posting.   Onlyrenting
 [/quote]

[Anonymous]

This thread was supposed to go under the Narcissism and Narcissism II thread. It relates to the topic brought up there. Sorry if it offends posters, when not taken in the correct context. It was meant to support why we post, not bash us. Read Narcissism II's posts and you will get it.

[Anonymous]

I think you misunderstood the message onlyrenting1. It was only a made up story as an analogy. Nobody really said any of that. But even in your misunderstanding I think you are dead right in your view anyway-- you're good!  

[Anonymous]

Analogy:
2 a : resemblance in some particulars between things otherwise unlike

[Anonymous]

Exactly as the poster above mine reads. If you look at the thread they mention--you will understand. And i was saying that imo you are right in your view toward the person the message was directed at--without even knowing it  

[Anonymous]

In every support group there usually is a leader of some sort. That person no longer needs the support they once did. It is a very kind, caring and selfless act.

Sorry,  this is naive.
I don't buy into the **self-proclaimed selfless leaders** who help and hardly say a word about their OWN story, they are so perfect. Unless they are therapists.
Those **leaders** are acting as know it all or N teachers. They are not allowing discussion/debate and they are no different from those ones :

I can't help but wonder why that smiling woman returned to the cancer support group meeting if she had moved on?

Although there are people at different stages of recovery, those who said they finally totally got over it, and who are still here should question themselves about their motivations.
Author of Narcissist II is not concerned  by this message.

My 2 cents.

[Anonymous]

those who said they finally totally got over it, and who are still here should question themselves about their motivations.

is there anyone here like that?????????????

Speak up if there is! Who is 100% well here?

Okay, who do you think is 100% well here?

Get your nominations in!

[Anonymous]

They are not allowing discussion/debate

Who? Who "they"? Me not know who they are! Where are they? Are they hiding under the bed?   Are they very very red?

[Anonymous]

I read this post last evening and thought it interesting when I read it.  I consider myself a survivor of N's of 50 and 10 years respectively.  Although I feel I have indeed moved on from some issues there are always new ones to deal with.  Such is life.  I in no way wish to compare the N experience to cancer, because to do so would diminsh the devastation of cancer and its own psychological effects.  However, I think one can say much like cancer, the N experience is  like the dread of going to the doctor to say it has recurred.  Depending on one's life experience.......exposure to an N has it's scars, some have a few and others are fragmented.  Any support that one can obtain is a source of  comfort.  Being "over it" is indeed a desired result..........but some how I view "getting over it" as trying to get over growing old.  You don't get over growing old......you just grow,learn and age.  The same I think is true with any disease or hurt.......it is not something you get over....... it is something you grow, learn from and move on to the next level.  Patz

[Anonymous]

I agree Patz. We just don't stop learning do we? And there are always new things to learn, about others, about ourselves. People who want perfection won't accept this.

If we point fingers at nameless others and say 'it's their fault!' this is one way of keeping learning at bay, while not risking telling our truth by naming the source of our irritation.

Guest Red Under The Bed

[onlyrenting1]

Guest said:

1.

Nobody really said any of that

I can make up any analogy,If I'm trying to make a point, I said it.
Weather you get the point or not, It is another story.
If I sounded like I was being direct as tho some REALLY, said it I was using it as an analogy. sorry for the missunderstanding

But even in your misunderstanding I think you are dead right in your view anyway-- you're good!

2.
Thx

thread was supposed to go under the Narcissism and Narcissism II thread. It relates to the topic brought up there. Sorry if it offends posters, when not taken in the correct context. It was meant to support why we post, not bash us. Read Narcissism II's posts and you will get it.

I will go back to these other threads so I get IT.
I'm glad someone is concered about putting things in the correct context.
will try not to think too hard how the thread got miss placed.

With all the disscusions and Analogy here about long time POSTERS, HOW ARE WE MISS PLACING POST so NEWBEEs like me are missunderstanding.

got to go...... onlyrenting