Went out yesterday

[October]

Went to visit a friend, and stayed for dinner, but today I am exhausted, and can't manage to reach where everyone else is, so I am going to rest.

It was nice, but he has two Koreans and an old college friend staying with him, and they (the Koreans) are very polite, which means when I went into a room on my own to escape, they followed to keep me company, and then showed me hundreds of holiday pictures on a PC.  Lovely pictures, of places I am not going to visit.  Complete with explanations of where they are, and repeated over and over; 'You know this?' 'You been here?' and having to say no.  Then everything I said they repeated.  I said, 'No, I have never been there', and they said, 'No, never been there?' as if it is unbelievable.  I tried to say, I have been to Bruges, but not Brussels, but it was too hard to explain.  And Paris.  I have been to Paris.  

The friend I visited has gone to Paris today for 5 days, with the college friend.  I seem always to be left behind.  Seeing the photographs afterwards, and being told that they were very tired, visiting so many places.  Lots of flashbacks last night, when we finally got home.

Bit too down to add anything sensible today, as you can see.  Fancy resenting someone else's happiness.  

[Anonymous]

I hope that as the day progesses your spirits are lifted.

I've had a day or two of what you are describing.  Truly a downer.

But at least you have been to Paris....I have never been to any part of Europe.   Maybe some day.........

((((October))))

Feel better.

Mia

[Stormchild Guesting]

Hey October -

You were doing your best to be courteous.

Beyond that, you were up against a language barrier and a politeness impasse. Your friend's visitors felt called to entertain you. They may have been repeating your words to be sure they had understood them... I've been there, and it does slow the conversation.

I don't get the impression that you're resenting anyone's happiness - looks to me like you're just soooooo tired of always being the one left waving and smiling on the dock as yet another cruise ships out without you. That has nothing to do with the people on board. It has to do with the passage of time and the realization that you seem to be the only one who never gets a cruise. Anyone perceptive would have a hard time keeping a smile plastered on her face in those circumstances. Something is wrong with this picture, and you know it; of course you're going to have a response to that.

hang in there,

[Brigid]

October,
I agree with Stormchild that you weren't resenting a friend's happiness, but just melancholy that you weren't also making the trip.  Its perfectly OK to have those feelings and we all have them.

Lovely pictures, of places I am not going to visit.

Never say never.  Sometimes a seed gets planted that we are not even aware of and as you get healthier (and I have faith that you will) that seed may germinate and begin to create an interest in seeing other parts of the world (or maybe just Brussels or Paris again).  My daughter is adopted from Korea and I plan to take her there some day to see her native country.  I've heard it is beautiful.

Get the rest you need so you can face the week.  You are in my prayers.

Brigid

[bunny]

I think it's a bit much to show a dinner guest hundreds of holiday pix on a PC. I would feel incredibly oppressed/bored. I wish people would pick out a small number and just show those.  Good grief.    If you want to see Bruges, you can. You don't have to wait for anyone else!

bunny

[longtire]

October, I think you did great to go out to your friends house in the first place!  The daughter of friends succumbed to Cystic Fibrosis this week and the funeral was last night.  I had planned on going, but felt more and more oppressed (by it and everything else) as the time approached.  I ended up not going and still feel bad about it, but just wasn't up to it yesterday. I'll send an email as a poor second to going, and try not to beat myself up over it.  I hate shoulds and shouldn'ts.

[Guest from afar]

Many people are insensitive to other people's discomfort. It really wasn't appropriate to show all those travel pictures to you. They were supposed to ask, "Do you want to see any pictures of our trip?" after which you could respond, "Actually, I'm not really into other people's travel pictures" (the truth will set you free!). You could also have told them this once they started showing one or two pictures, and that would have been the end of it. Yes, they might look put out, but so what? It is them or you. Either you are put out or they are put out. You must stick up for your own needs. That is how simply things work. It doesn't mean they wouldn't like you if you said "Enough already!" after one or two pictures. They can still hear from you that you don't want to see their travel pictures, and still they can like you - a lot!  

On another matter, you will one day travel. I just feel it. It will all happen for you!

hugs,

Guest from afar (female)

[Anonymous]

Hiya October:

I'm glad you went out.  Even if it wasn't all enjoyable......were there some parts of it that were?  Was dinner good?  Was the trip there nice?  Did it feel like an accomplishment to go out?

I hope you're feeling better today.  ((((((((October)))))))

If you feel like it, please tell me about Paris.  I have never been there and probably never will go there.  I'm a bit of a home-country body, so I really think my travelling will remain on this continent, at most.

Hope things like brighter for you today.
 
GFN

[October]

Hiya all.  Thanks for your replies.  Sorry not to answer sooner, or properly.  Still lacking in energy.  Rested on Sunday, but had another difficult day yesterday with my t and having to sort out my car with some new tyres, and shopping too.  Doesn't sound like much, but it takes out of me more than I have to give.

Resting again today, and trying to gain strength.  Tomorrow have to take daughter to her counsellor, but then I can rest again on Thursday.

I was just too tired for words the other day.  Normally I like looking at pictures.  Just too many that day, and couldn't quite cope with it all.

Feeling constantly sleepy at present.  Spending time doing snatches of housework and cooking, and hours of resting in between.  Not quite given up completely yet, though.  Hoovered and tidied daughter's room while she was with her tutor, then sent her to tidy her room afterwards.  She went, good as gold, to find it all done.  Wish someone would do that for the rest of the house.    

Thanks all for being there.  And yes, most of Saturday was lovely, as was dinner.  We had Chinese, which is always good.  And I love to see my friends; there are not so many of them left any more, so I have to make the most of the ones that are there.    

Sorry about the loss of your friend's daughter, Longtire.  The important thing is for you to be there for your friends in the coming months, and I am sure you will be.  Sorry you had a difficult time, though.

Thanks everyone else.  I really appreciate your support and concern.

Back in a day or so.