Hi All,
It's been awhile since I've touched base. Nothing like my N father visiting from back East to remind me what I've survived as a child and struggle with as an adult.
I read a book not long ago about psychic vampires and noticed that N traits and the psychic vampire description have alot in common. I love my father yet realize that he will never be able to accept unconditional love for me. He does have many years of recovery in AA which has helped him deal with some of the more glaring traits of N dissorder, yet there still is a subtle note of everything having to be about him even when he visits me and my daughter.
My girlfriend got a taste of the "vampire bite" when we went out to dinner a few nights ago and she shared with me after the meal she feels drained and exhausted after conversation with him. I felt it and suspect that she was the prime target because my "energy center" was very protected from his subtle put-downs and insinuations that put him in a power position.
I'm curious if others relate to the energy depletion that both N's and Psychic Vampires exibit when dealing with them? Below is an article that describes the condition.
Cheers,
Philski
Article:
Understand, psychic vampires are typically not mean, cruel people. Oftentimes, they are totally unaware of their impact on others. Initially, they are quite charming and attractive. They draw others in with their cunning and guile. Like vampires displayed on Hollywood's silver screen, psychic vampires avoid looking at themselves in the mirror. This avoidance of mirrors signifies a psychological tendency to avoid the self. The psychic vampire avoids, at all costs, self-examination. As you know, vampires literally live in the dark. Similarly, psychic vampires refuse to become enlightened by the light of knowledge. They lurk in darkness, under cover and unaware of how they negatively influence and drain other peoples' emotional energy.
Having avoided self-reflection, these individuals naturally deny responsibility for how they affect others and how they attempt to live off the energy of others. For instance, a typical interaction with a psychic vampire might appear like this:
The PV usually begins a conversation with a complaint of some sort. If the person they're talking with chooses to respond with a solution, optimistic comment or some other positive response, the PV will literally live off that person's positive energy. Rather than do this for him/herself, the PV relies on other people to provide him/her with this type of energy. As the word "vampire" conveys, the PV saps the energy of others, which is why the other person ends up feeling emotionally drained.
Modern day language and culture have coined the term "co-dependent" to describe the individual whose life revolves around the life of another. Rather than develop a true sense of "self," the co-dependent attempts to define him/herself through another person --- usually the one s/he is in love with. There are few or no psychological boundaries between the co-dependent and the significant other. "Co-dependent" is representative of the mythic psychic vampire.
By describing the psychic vampire, I have attempted to bring new life to the worn out term co-dependent. Unfortunately, the word co-dependent has been so overly used, it has lost its impact. People are comfortable with the label "co-dependent." I see many people cozy up to the concept and almost pride themselves on being a classic co-dependent! The Bible, fairy tales such as Rumpelstiltskin, etc. remind us of the power of the "word." Perhaps, the negative connotation of "psychic vampire" will encourage all those co-dependents in the world to shed their attachment to living through and off others, and seek to reclaim a true sense of self.
