Anything

[Meh]

I've heard of Hot Tuna, but maybe not heard them. You're a barometer.   That made me laugh.

Allergies can make a person feel tired, I have heard that from doctors I think or read it.

Maybe our bodies have to adjust to new seasons?
Today, I started wondering if I had mono or some sort of thing, no cold or flu symptoms just super tired, I drink too much coffee and then stay up too late is part of it. I looked at the clock at 4 PM and still didn't feel fully awake though. It could be like, pre-menopausal, PMS, seasonal transitional disorder.

Well, there is a very very large mosquito hanging out around me, I don't want to wake up with a bite on my eyelid.
I don't know where it went, it's stealthy and doesn't hhrrrrrmm at all. I'm slapping anywhere my hair tendrils hit my skin.
I wish I had one of those mosquito halos around my bed.

Probably will be good to sell the old house and get it over with. I think you are grieving it, that doesn't sound so weird though.
I mean the old house vs. the new house it's symbolic.

Well, ya it sounds like letting go of the old house is weighing on you. It's obviously been a big transition for you guys.

Are you guys going to travel after you get the old house taken care of?

No, I'm not seeing the therapists right now. Was a community grant for a limited amount of visits, not sure if I have any visits left. Last time I went we were just doing "career counseling". I'm just as miserable as I always am but whatever. C'est la vie.  

I'm going over to my mother's house tomorrow. It's her birthday. Feh.

I think I have pre-menopause!! I said that before.

Today I cut the sleeves off of a hand-me down tan suede leather jacket and I think I may have ruined it. The shoulder-pads and lining had to come out also. I'm not sure what to do with the edges since I don't have a sewing machine. Thought I would just rustically do some sort of hand sewing around the arm holes because that is the style but sort of decided maybe it's not worth the time. Maybe it is. I'm not sure. It's washable leather I like that.

I've got a bottle of cod liver oil pills sitting on a dresser.
Next to it is dried peas.
Deodorant
Packets of shampoo
My grandfathers radio that I listen to at night
A piece of paper that I sign saying that I took out the communal garbage  
There was a green worm that came off of wildflowers on the dresser that got flicked out the window

I have a bunch of poppy seeds I collected from last year. I want to stand on this overpass area and throw them down onto the industrial area below that just has a lot of dirt and abandoned half torn down weird buildings. I wonder if the poppies will get round-up-ed if I do that? There is not a whole lot growing down there. I know it's not very subversive but it still feels naughty.

Going to lay down flat and see if I fall asleep

[sKePTiKal]

I think you're probably coming down with "pre-mom-o-pause".

We used to call it "the curse"... and since I've got through the whole menopause stage (albeit about 10 years early)... I gotta tell ya - it's great to not have to deal with that anymore! Sometimes, I detect lingering echoes of PMS... the emotional, monthly "uptick" in tension...feeling adrift in a dark empty universe or like some weepy, helpless, marshmallowy, vapory female characiture (sp?).

The house thing is weird, because we moved 2 years ago. LOVE living here. Hubs had lots & lots of "stuff" - not valuable, not anything we need here - in the big garage. The only attachment I have to the place is (pos) = all my plants; the baby trees that are now 15 ft tall; the thick raspberry bushes and (neg) = all the projects I needed (in my head only) to complete before selling the house. (Memories are too ethereal to call them "attachments"; it's the people in the memories - not the place - that I'm attached to.)

Sign went up in front of the house on Monday, this week. Yesterday, I received a full-price cash offer. NONE of the "to-do" list is done yet. None. These people are buying it "as is"... tho they are going through the inspection hoops. Which probably means we'll negotiate price. Make the trek BACK up there one more time... sell the remaining furniture, bring back a few things, and trash lots more. 30 days till closing. I honestly didn't expect this; in fact I told the realtor the worst thing that could happen would be selling it quickly - because of what's left to do - it's a 6 hour drive for us.

My pool looked great when we got home on Monday; by today - it's green. I think it's because of another wave of pollen. So I took a kid's Claritin last night and I do feel better. Allergies could very well have been part of how I felt. The other part is just simple cognitive dissonance - the dislocation feeling of being at the old house - it being familiar/unfamiliar at the same time. Coming back to the new house... and just trying to feel used to where the fridge is, how I work in the kitchen... where the light switches are and what kind they are... you know?

After the house up there is all done, I want to start looking for an "escape hatch". A little place on the mainland, easy to maintain and live in, away from the beaten path... fairly easy to get to, in case we have to "run" from a big hurricane. Our beach house is big and well-located and felt like a rock-solid fortress during Irene. We have tools, camping gear & a generator & even the windows are hurricane-rated up to 100 mph impacts. I could and probably will add hurricane shutters on the east side of the house. We were "comfortable" enough for 3 days on generator power. But, being a realist I know that the next storm will be different; it could be lots stronger; it could have more wind than Irene did; the impacts could be completely different next time. Being of a "survivor" mentality - I always prepare, update my preparations, and keep the "worst case scenario" in mind and try to plan for that too - without letting it obsess me or freak me out. Having a place to "bug out to" - without imposing myself on other people or needing food & shelter - a place that can be self-sufficient without electricity (and I have most of what I need already for that scenario) is sort of like a security blankie for me.

I've done my share of travelling. Hubs doesn't like to fly anymore than I do. We're not "cruise" people. "Adventure" for the sake of adventure doesn't appeal to me. We just like to live each day, enjoying the simple things in life, doing what we have to or want to, to sleep well at night and wake up the next morning with the day wide open in front of us. We're easily entertained and comfortable doing next to nothing. The only adventure I would like to undertake is the week-long horseback, fishing & camping trip from the north rim of the Grand Canyon to Bryce, in Utah. I'm not currently physically up to that, I don't think. But it's just such a great feeling being horseback out west - very few fences and the freedom to cover large distances in any direction you want to go. If I don't get to do that - oh well. I can imagine it, having had a couple of those experiences already.

The thing with selling the house - a place I lived in with intensity - is that there's the idea that I'm giving up or letting go a part of me. Like my identity is magically entwined with a certain place. It's a crazy, dumb idea - rationally. I know that I can be "at home in the homeless home" - anywhere I am, I am making my mark on the world, the people in it, and my journey in some ways... is that "homeless home". And the feelings of grief, nostalgia, longing... the what-if questions... all those feelings are like labor pains -- the birth of something new. That ole wheel o' life just keeps turning and I can either turn with it or make life difficult for myself by resisting. This is simply one part of that whole process.

Well, time to put on my redneck, hard-headed businesswoman hat & stilettos and take care of the details of the next part of this process. We have to start planning on the completion of the "emptying" process up there; one or two more trips... and before that, we have to unload the truckload we brought back on Monday. It's rained every day here, since then. Back later.

[Meh]

Just watched the movie "The Informant" I wonder if the main character who was a real person could have been or IS Narcissistic.

[Meh]

I'm not sure where to put this, I'm just thinking or learning out-loud. Under the reading list for this board there is an author who published a Narcissists diary in which it stated that:  "I love to be hated".

Meaning that the bad feelings the Narcissists elicits in others --maybe are intentional to make their victims hate them?

I have noticed this. You know that weird smirk that they get on their faces when they have pissed (me) off so much and I am downright hateful.

And they LOVE it?

It just never occurred to me that they love to be hated. I mean why would it occur to me?

So hate and fear are part of the "Narcissistic supply" and they thrive on the hateful and fearful attention. REALLY?? Scrunch face.

Cross eyes. really...

[Meh]

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/bullying-bus-monitor-sparks-amazing-compassion-campaign-video-143135242.html

The woman bullied on bus--and campaign that raised money to send her on vacation.

Now there's going to be people faking this so they can make money. (sorry, I know so jaded and cynical)

[Meh]

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/43081000/ns/today-today_health/t/one-third-tween-clothes-are-sexy-study-finds/#.T-k79BdfGeE

http://edition.cnn.com/2011/BUSINESS/03/26/abercrombie.bikini.controversy/index.html


Thinking about how it is the parents who get out their credit cards and pay for this stuff since 7,8,9,10,11,12 year olds don't have paychecks and don't drive. It's the adults that are taking them, helping them pick and purchasing.

Just wondering if it has any correlation to the reported increase in Narcissism in our society.

I think it might be related. That parents are increasingly seeing their own children as representations of sex objects as part of their own egoistic self. ? 

Oh, and I had to add this 850.00 perfume bottle for DOG perfume:

http://www.sexybeaststyle.com/fragrance_le.php

[BonesMS]

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/43081000/ns/today-today_health/t/one-third-tween-clothes-are-sexy-study-finds/#.T-k79BdfGeE

http://edition.cnn.com/2011/BUSINESS/03/26/abercrombie.bikini.controversy/index.html


Thinking about how it is the parents who get out their credit cards and pay for this stuff since 7,8,9,10,11,12 year olds don't have paychecks and don't drive. It's the adults that are taking them, helping them pick and purchasing.

Just wondering if it has any correlation to the reported increase in Narcissism in our society.

I think it might be related. That parents are increasingly seeing their own children as representations of sex objects as part of their own egoistic self. ? 

Oh, and I had to add this 850.00 perfume bottle for DOG perfume:

http://www.sexybeaststyle.com/fragrance_le.php

Makes me wonder where is common sense nowadays or am I getting too old?

Bones

[Meh]

I've been thinking about that "Am I getting too old" idea. I'm not THAT old but still we are all different generations. Well, I don't know enough about sociology but the parents and kids fall somewhere in the generation X and generation Y. Is this the delayed result of the so called "sexual revolution". There is such a feeling of anything goes. Anywhere. In the work place, at children's schools etc.

I haven't read this book but it looks interesting:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Consumer-Kids-business-grooming-children/dp/1845298802

[Meh]

Today I found somebody's dentures in the kitchen sink drain. I don't know why I'm typing it, it's just kind of too close for comfort. Everybody here is too close for comfort. I need to get some rest tonight, bid day tomorrow. 

[Meh]

http://www.thecrimson.com/article/2006/5/15/corrupt-charities-pstrongcorrection-appended-see-belowstrongp/

I need to get my day a' goin'. The above article though describes something that I witness first hand and it's very hard for me to reconcile it sometimes, I also wonder why do so few people notice this?

There used to be a Jewish law about farmers leaving the left-over food in their fields and the corners untouched. Poor people would take the left-overs. It was a form of tithing. Today, there are systems built up around this idea-money systems, almost a weird business in it's self that is very inept and wasteful. IMO Anywho I gotta run.

[Hopalong]

Boat, how was your big day? And how are you?

TT, that was balm to read. I think I carry guilt about being an extravert because sometimes I can't distinguish it from being a voicehog. And sometimes I'm not being a hog at all, just friendly!

xo
Hops

[sKePTiKal]

Facebook must know something about me I don't.
Lately, I'm getting ads asking me to start my online counseling degree!!

Riiiiiiiight. I don't think I have the objectivity for that.

[sKePTiKal]

I might have tt... the title sounds familiar.

[Hopalong]

((((TT))))

Snort.
No pun intended.

xo
Hops

[sKePTiKal]

My condolences, tt. My hubby's the same way.
I've actually had to send him off on errands, to get him out of the way of our workmen (hurricane shutters completed last week - phew!). It was expensive - he loves to shop - but the guys got done in time.