Anything

[Meh]

Walked to a gym today to check it out, got a little tour. Sort of feel uncomfortable in the form of self consciousness. I think it springs out of me having social anxiety in general I tend to feel self conscious but definitely in a gym setting where I don't know what I am doing and am out of shape.

Even checking it out felt like an accomplishment of sorts as I have never been to that part of the neighborhood even. Sadly it's not as convenient as I would like it to be. Perhaps my search continues. If I had a home gym I actually think I would do it as self consciousness and inconvenience are actually bigger problems for me than motivation is.

[Hopalong]

Ready to be inspired, Boat!

http://urbannaturale.com/how-to-create-a-diy-home-gym-with-items-around-the-house/

 
Hops

[Meh]

The photos in the media of the woman named Lamiya Aji Bashar.

Finding the news dark, the stuff about the large numbers, said to be thousands of women held as sexual slaves. Looking at the book that was published recently under a pen-name. Haven't read it.

The Girl Who Escaped ISIS: This Is My Story
by Farida Khalaf (Author), Andrea C. Hoffmann (Author)

It seemed as if there were very few reports about it, after the initial word that thousands of women and kids had gone missing.

Is it because it's too dark or because it's a relative drop in the bucket during the greater issues of war. Not sure.

[Meh]

Odd thought came into my head.

For some reason I haven't been able to read at "home". Maybe it's because the lighting sucks, or because my allergies act up here. While I was riding the bus last weekend I did read, this book which I am enjoying. I generally don't enjoy the bus.

Was considering riding a bus simply so that I am encouraged to read.

[Meh]

Just feeling lonely, and "dysphoric" PMS or whatever. I feel kind of pointless without context of other people.

sort of laying here tired, not wanting to take a shower or get ready for bed, just just JUST I don't know

I feel like I need other people to make my life meaningful. 

have a headache, listening to some echoing English pop music stuff

looking at my name tag sticker stuck to the wall, reading my first and last name, feeling that detached sort of vibe like "who is she"

[Hopalong]

I need other people to make my life meaningful

Where can you find some?
Is there anything volunteerish you could do for 2-4 hours on a day off?

A friend of mind is tutoring an immigrant in ESL (they train you how) and she is finding it very meaningful. Others are attending local social justice meetings and events--sometimes just to add a body, but out of conviction that it helps. I'm thinking of volunteering as a writer for the local fire dept--they need someone to do a monthly article.

I miss kids and hope sometime I can do that as a volunteer.

Hops

[teartracks]

Reminding myself that, evil exists on Earth and its atmosphere, but Truth rules. Truth trumps all, not selectively, but absolutely according to Its own law. That law is unchangeable.

[Meh]

Ahhhh Sigh, feeling sleepy, doing laundry, watching some documentary on the history of witch persecution always come up leading to Halloween.

Nobody ever dresses up as a witch persecutor. Random women, sadistic mostly men going after them.

If only I was doing something better with my Friday Night. I do work tomorrow.

[Meh]

All of a sudden I have nothing but "Depressing" things to say. Since I am noticing it I feel disinclined to write. I should just read for a while. Barely come on here these days. Was thinking about the board past few days for no particular reason only that I hadn't been on.

[Hopalong]

I'm glad to hear you even when it's dark stuff, Boat.

I've had years upon years when the dark questions and dark side of humanity has drawn me. In more recent years I've worked at reading good news, too. It helps.

It's discouraging to me to go to Netflix and see how much of what's offered is apocalyptic and depressing. So when I find a flick like The Fundamentals of Caregiving, it makes me happy.

Seen that one?

Hugs
Hops

[Meh]

Hiya Hops, Nope I didn't see that one.

Last movie I saw in the theater was finding Dory.

Watched the series of Johnathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, had started to read the book long ago and gave up, can say this is an instance when I think the tv series was better than the book.

Was listening to Maeve Binchy's life story on youtube as I was going to try and not look at my computer screen, my eyes are fried. Am still reading her book A Week In Winter. It's been quite a long time I have been trying to get through it, I like the story very much, generally I only read it while riding the bus on the weekends into the city.

Made a pair of earrings at work for myself, made a pair for my co-worker who sits next to me and then gave a pair to an older friend there.

My younger co-worker I think she was worried about getting a gift, the older co-worker loved them.

The weekends where I work can be sort of slow sometimes. Not always sometimes it's swamped. Actually having something to do with my hands while I talk to customers makes me seem more patient when in reality I am simply not as intensely focused on identify and solving their problem. Oddly customers seem to be more content when I am slightly preoccupied while listening to them. I guess there is such a thing as being too active. 

[Meh]

Wrote a rant about incorrigible customers and accidentally deleted it, probably for the best. If only I could say to them "do you think this is my dream job?"

[Hopalong]

I totally get it why customers are eased, just as you are, by your hands being occupied/creating. It's you reconnecting to something human, which computer/phone-based all-day work just ain't. I'm sure it comes through and makes you less tense when you speak to them. Apparently hand work has real, researched benefits on mood and cognition.

"The Fundamentals of Caregiving" streams on Netflix...

Hugs
Hops

[Meh]

Just a dumb rant.

Today I had a stupid customer lashing out at me because someone used her card fraudulently. She blabbed about her assumption that we don't require the pin code to be entered but actually we do require it, didn't get the chance to tell her that but what would be the point of saying anything? What is the point of me having a conversation with someone that doesn't let me speak? So she complained and complained as if I set up a system that doesn't require validations. I didn't set it up, it does require validations.

She eventually started complaining about the prices on our website even though she wasn't ordering anything from us. Unless she did make the order and pretended it was fraud who knows. She wanted me to give her too much information about the "recipient" who usually doesn't even know what is going on and isn't involved. I refused as I wasn't going to help her misguided attempt at pretending to be a detective.

Can you imagine someone uses your address for a fraud order, intercepts it and then the person at the address gets contacted by a crazy lady and the police and gets accused of committing fraud when their address was randomly picked.

I mean I can explain things to people but I can't force them to understand.


Then there was the guy who insinuated I was drunk and then he pointed out that I wasn't laughing at his dumb jokes. Oh yeah and he wanted to make sure I knew that he was rich.

Then there was another dumb customer who was complaining that a competitor had a lower price but she couldn't show me where she was finding this information, she became snotty and I was also snotty and giving attitude back at her so she quickly ended the conversation mumbling some crap about if we want her business blah blah blah, actually lady if you want something just Fing pay for it. Do I really have to help people that are snapping at me?

I'm really tired of being nice to people that are demanding, rude, impatient and irrational and sometimes they are outright lying to us. Actually I am tired of being afraid to be blunt when they are getting out of control.

I get tired and bored of my job. At the end of writing all of this I notice that this job does damper my spirits a little, it's hard to talk to complaining unhappy people all day. I can honestly say that most of them I don't like. It makes me want to shut myself in my home and not go out where other people exist. It makes me want to complain.

Whooo empathy burn out.

There was one guy yesterday who thanked me because he said I helped him do something he had been trying to do for 3 days but you know what he was nice, patient, and clear.

[Meh]

Just a dumb rant.




Today I had a stupid customer lashing out at me because someone used her card fraudulently. She blabbed about her assumption that we don't require the pin code to be entered but actually we do require it, didn't get the chance to tell her that but what would be the point of saying anything? What is the point of me having a conversation with someone that doesn't let me speak? So she complained and complained as if I set up a system that doesn't require validations. I didn't set it up, it does require validations.

She eventually started complaining about the prices on our website even though she wasn't ordering anything from us. Unless she did make the order and pretended it was fraud who knows. She wanted me to give her too much information about the "recipient" who usually doesn't even know what is going on and isn't involved. I refused as I wasn't going to help her misguided attempt at pretending to be a detective.

Can you imagine someone uses your address for a fraud order, intercepts it and then the person at the address gets contacted by a crazy lady and the police and gets accused of committing fraud when their address was randomly picked.

I mean I can explain things to people but I can't force them to understand.


Then there was the guy who insinuated I was drunk and then he pointed out that I wasn't laughing at his dumb jokes. Oh yeah and he wanted to make sure I knew that he was rich.

Then there was another dumb customer who was complaining that a competitor had a lower price but she couldn't show me where she was finding this information, she became snotty and I was also snotty and giving attitude back at her so she quickly ended the conversation mumbling some crap about if we want her business blah blah blah, actually lady if you want something just Fing pay for it. Do I really have to help people that are snapping at me?

I'm really tired of being nice to people that are demanding, rude, impatient and irrational and sometimes they are outright lying to us. Actually I am tired of being afraid to be blunt when they are getting out of control.

I get tired and bored of my job. At the end of writing all of this I notice that this job does damper my spirits a little, it's hard to talk to complaining unhappy people all day. I can honestly say that most of them I don't like. It makes me want to shut myself in my home and not go out where other people exist. It makes me want to complain.

Whooo empathy burn out.

There was one guy yesterday who thanked me because he said I helped him do something he had been trying to do for 3 days but you know what he was nice, patient, and clear.