Anything

[mum]

Hi, Sela!
Have you seen the film "Danny Deckchair"? It is loosely based on this, I think.
I'm guessing you would like it.
BTW: check your PMs.

[Hopalong]

 

that is the most AMAZING story.
Wonderful!

Thank you, Sela!

Hops

[Moira]

hi All! Have been MIA for a while now and am back. An update on my nasty work scene with abusive N boss. went off on a medical leave for PTSD last Thurs. The shit just kept perking along and escalating. Me documenting everything and her staying late every night and checking all my case notes on all my clients looking for any little thing she could find. Daily e mails from her about bullshit like- " I don't like the spaces between your paragraphs....I don't like the headings you use in your notes"- etc. She was also accusing me of coming into the office " at all hours of the night and using your computer to surf the Net...I have proof". Unbelievable1 No proof ever offered and as if I'd be travelling many miles in my pj's in the dead of night to use my work computer!!!! She was actually checking office camera surveillance tapes daily trying to find evidence I was coming in!!! Insanity! Finally had a nasty mtg. last Thurs involving HR bastard( he and I have had years of go arounds of a less than pleasant nature!), nasty boss, my union and myself. I was accused of being A liar- no evidence offered and told " I was unsafe to practice and had been since last May"!!!! ridiculous!!! Every meeting and every one of their accusations is met with numerous grievances by my union but it was a losing prospect. I wanted out of there and she obviously felt the same! finally brokered a deal that if I went off on medical leave I could take my time and find a job anywhere in my service, seniority and vacation all portable, and then when I'm ready to go back to work, the union simply moves me into that position!!! Called " employer duty to accommodate worker with a disability"( am bipolar). Sooo..  good result in terms of getting outta there and moving on to a better job in a safer and hopefully, saner1 place---but a shitty and traumatic ride to get there! Not sleeping, having many nightmares, have lost a lot of weight and am having some less than normal thoughts! Have a great shrink, supportive friends, and am slowly starting to mend. One of the worst periods in my life- and there have been a few doozies! Hope everyone is well. am looking forward to getting back here on a regular basis. Have missed everyone! hugs, Moira

[pennyplant]

Hi Moira,

Just take care of yourself.  I'm glad you were able to get a medical leave and can keep your seniority etc.  My boss of five years ago was very similar to yours though not nearly as severe.  I walked out one day.  Just gave up a job I loved.  Had also lost weight, etc.  It took me four months to rest and be somewhat functioning again.  I'm so impressed with the fight you had in you under horrendous conditions.  Good for you!!!  Now take your time as much as possible and take very good care of yourself.  She is out of your life now and it is forward into something that is sure to be better.   

Pennyplant

[Hopalong]

Hi Moira,
Good to hear your voice again.
I'm so sorry about what you've been through.
I hope it winds up being a threshold for something good.
Good for you for staying focused on your treatment and getting well.

Thanks for letting us know, and keep it up!
((((Moira))))

Hops

[Kheng]

This should probably be taped to your bathroom mirror where one could read it every day. You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.

1. There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. You are special and unique.
8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
10. When you think the world has turned its back on you take another look.
11. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.

And always remember....when life hands you Lemons, ask for tequila and salt and call a friend over!

[Sela]

Hey all!

Oh Mum!  I'll have to see that movie!  It sounds like the kind of ridiculous humour I love!  Thanks!

Hoppy:  Glad you liked it!  It made me giggle a little, imagining this guy and his wacky attempt to fly!!

"A man can't just sit around!!"

Gives me so much incentive to live.  Even if I am making mistakes left, right and centre........it's better than not trying eh?  (especially when I do some stuff right!!  ).

Hi Moira:  Gee.  That sounds so very hard to live through.  I echo Penny's admiration for your steadfast combat!!  And I'm glad you will finally be outta there!!  Hoping and praying for you that it will be much better at your new position.  What a relief I bet you feel eh?    Glad that horrible time is over now.  Take special care of you for awhile.  You deserve the rest and probably need it to recoup.  Glad you're back posting!

Hey Penny:   

I walked out one day.  Just gave up a job I loved.  Had also lost weight, etc.  It took me four months to rest and be somewhat functioning again.

That took great courage and sacrifice.  I think it's a fantastic sign of you doing what you had to do to save you.  And that......is a beautiful thing!!!  (even though I'm sure it didn't seem so at the time).     Sorry you had to go through all of that.  And I'm so glad you were able to be so brave and give up what you loved in order to preserve your sanity.  That does not sound like an easy thing to do at all.  You are equally admirable!

Kheng:  I like the list you posted.  You're right though......I don't realize it and honestly, I'm having a hard time believing it's 100% true.  But there is lot's of good stuff in that list worth believing in and holding onto 100%, imo.  Thanks for posting.

I'm off to the north until after Easter.  I hope you will all have a wonderful, safe, healthy, happy Easter and that something new and wonderful will be resurrected within you.

You are......after all.......special and unique.   You just don't go around proclaiming it!! Hahahaha!!

"I'm special and unique!!  Hear ye!  Hear ye!!  I said IIIIIIIIIIIII am special..............and .....unique!!"

 

But inside.........I think we would all do well.........to acknowledge this to ourselves and celebrate it a little eh?

So go ahead...........eat some chocolate!!!   

Sela

[pennyplant]

1. There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. You are special and unique.
8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
10. When you think the world has turned its back on you take another look.
11. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.

I've received this list in my emails a few times.  At first I thought, well how can anyone know this or believe this?  Then I turned it around.  There are people I think of who may not even know me or think of me but I remember the impact they had on me.  There are people who seem happy to see me and I hardly know them and maybe I did something I don't remember but they do and that made their day.  I sort of went through the list and brainstormed from my memories and it started to make sense and make me feel less lonely.  I don't know who originated this list but it's making it way around the internet.  I like it.

Pennyplant

[moonlight52]

HI   PP  From what I can tell PennyPlant does not give up on people even when they are ready to give up on them selves.
                     
           Hugs
           Moonlight                 

[pennyplant]

   Thanks, Moon, I'm pretty persistant. 

And sometimes what's in a person's  heart just shows all over the place.  I just keep an eye out for that.

PP

[Moira]

Hi All!!! Good to be back here! Missed everyone of you!!! Thanks so much for the support and encouragement- means a lot to me. Have been off work and outta the snake pit for almost three weeks now. Haven't started the harassment and discrimination complaints against my evil boss yet. Am feeling somewhat ambivalent about going after her even though I feel there should be some kind of accountability. Am having high anxiety about it coming at my expense. although I never have to work with N boss again, I still have to deal with N HR dude- and he has had his knives out for me for years. I also know full well that even if my boss is found guilty of harassment, there will be minimal- if not any- repurcussions for her as the upper managemtn is chock full of ambitous N sharks who all protect each other. I am also considering checking out Human Rights Comission to see if i have any grounds for a complaint there as I know that would carry more weight and there would be consequences and accountability. Have to be certain I do have grounds to proceeed. An update on my ex N partner- after a year of splitsville he continues to harass me and is now stalking me. Persistent and getting crazier by the minute. I haven't spoken to him, acknowledged him or returned any calls/emails since last October but he continues. We are both in NA and I've dropped out of my home group and don't go to any meetings i know he attends. I had almost six weeks repreive but that ended a month ago. He's back into calling me and leaving abusive messages or telling me he KNOWS " I'm still in love with him". Delusional to the max!!!! I've blocked his phone but he uses other phones. Am changing my number tomorrow. He has also sent me numerous bizarre and nasty e mails in the last two weeks. Bizarre and unfounded accusations, declarations I love him, and one that was full of nasty and explicitly sexual crap. The opening line of that one was " You're bisexual, youlove it up the ass, you love giving guys hand jobs under restaurant tables, blow jobs in cars and washrooms, you have a f--k buddy and you love letting guys watch you with another girl". Hmmm!!!! Interesting stuff coming from a N sexa ddict who is obsessed and hates me. No history of violence that I'm aware of- and " aware of" is the iperative word here. Am not naive enough to presume just because I don't know about past history, there might not be one of violence. Of more concern- have seen him a block from my place several times in the past few weeks- has friends that live one street over from me. And he left me a message a week ago indicating he knew i'd had lunch with a male friend of mine and  named the date, location and time. He is following me. I have spoken with police and they are coming tonight to talk with me. Have done a detailed report for them as has my current boyfriend who is also being harasswed by ex N. All my friends know about this as well and most of them know ex and see him  in action. Lots of reliable witnesses. Don't go anywhere alone. am moving shortly as well. Am pissed off I have to take such drastic measures and disrupt my life so much- esp. with asll thisother shit going on- but my safety and sanity are prioities. Catch ya later. Happy Easter to all- and if it's not a religoius holiday for you- stuff yourself with chocolate!!! Hugs, Moira

[kheng as guest]

I got the following via email.  I thought they are were interesting.


ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.

FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: R espect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.

[mum]

ok, this is off the wall, but the one about saying "bless you" got me remembering:
At work, my husband said "god bless you" or perhaps just "g'bless you" (you know how that sounds) to a woman who sneezed. She told him she was extremely offended that he would push his religious beliefs on her!  (to make it funnier, you have to know that my husband is not a religious zealot or even religious, and certainly doesn't talk about that at work) anyway, isn't that hilarious!!??

[Hopalong]

Here in the Southern U.S., one of my favorite ironies is that so many Nice Southern Ladies did this strange thing when I was little. It used to confuse me and now it amuses me (it's a great shorthand joke for one friend and me):

The Lady would say something basically cruel about someone and follow it INSTANTLY with "bless his heart." So when I was tiny, I'd be trying to track the grownup conversation and I'd have my junior Jesus thoughts in, so when the lady said, "He's just as dumb as a post" I'd think "ow, that was a mean thing to say" but then the next thing out of her mouth would be "bless his heart" so I'd think "but she's giving a blessing (that's what we did at the dinner table) so it must be a kind thing..." until my little head spun. Later on I realized it was just a spiteful thought and the blessing was their CYA remark.

"She's as big as a heifer blessherheart..."
"He drinks like a fish blesshisheart..."
"And she has such buck teeth blessherheart..." etc.

Hops, blessmyheart

[revidevia1905]

Hopalong, that was priceless...my mother used to do that with the tag-line "God help him/her/them/us".  Good way to absolutely crucify anybody and seem like such a pious soul whilst doing it.  That was the Southern Irish/Redemptorist version of that "blessing".  

How do you counteract those tapes?    
I'll have to keep reading, see if that's been discussed somewhere here already.  They're so insidious for me, and I try to catch it, but it's as if those "blessings" come out of the mouths of those around me even now.  It can trigger me in a nanosecond.

Good thread - thanks, and hope you all sleep well tonight.