Re 14. Respect the disadvantaged.
I grew up in the subburbs of a large city, lived in the heart of the city for a few years, moved to a smaller city, and have been down-sizing ever since to......
.........get away (
I think) from #14.
Over the years I've visited oodles of cities and make it almost a point to get lost in the poorest parts of towns and have had numberous experiences seeing, interacting even...with "street people". I know there are over 260 in the small town I live not far from. I know they are every where and I know it's a fact of life...or so it seems.
Last night, I was driving through the inner streets of the nearest city, on my way home, and as I pulled to the corner of a dark side street, which met a major roadway, there on the side walk was a woman......maybe close to my age.....sitting on the ground, surrounded by big trash bags (probably from one of the greasy spoon restaurants near). She was literally plunked down in the middle of about a dozen bags and was obviously picking through them..............
.....................eating.
I wanted to roll down the window of my vehicle and throw money to her but I didn't.
We made clear and deep eye contact for a few seconds.
I felt so shocked and horrified and actually.....afraid.
Afraid that she must me mentally disturbed to be doing such a thing, all alone, late at night, on the street, in a fairly big city, where there are so many pushers and pimps and......
Afraid that she might try to get into my vehicle, should I stop and
..........
And disgusted. Why is she there? Why can't someone help her? Why does she allow herself to live in such a vile state? Why can't she escape it? Why don't I do something.....anything.......to help?
I drive. I turn the corner. I cry.
I think in frustration and anger and disgust and helplessness and confusion and .......
I'm supposed to respect her?????
The way to do that is look past her behaviour and see her, I know that..........
But all I could do was cry and feel useless and yep........I can be happy in my life. I have so much to be thankful for and to celebrate and enjoy. I live the best I can, more and more, these days and I'm so glad of that and then............
I see someone in such a state and I feel guilty....shamed........for having the life I have, for not having a clue how to make a difference in hers. Oh sure, I contribute to this charity and that organization and I do my part....I volunteer for the good of others sometimes but it's just not enough. It's not helping. That woman is still sitting there on the street!!
EATING GARBAGE!! (the stuff that gets wiped into the garbage can off people's plates when they're done their meal -- and God only knows what else???).
And then I guess deep in my heart I believe the way to help that woman, the way to get her off the street and out of garbage bags.....is to somehow......
teach her to respect herself but I haven't got a clue how to do that either!!
Or is it even possible? It's a fact that a great many of these "homeless" are psych patients....people with mental difficulties and there is no where for them. They get dumped on the streets. It's so very sad.
I get so P'd everytime I go by city hall and see the lovely flowers planted in the big, showy gardens (and I love flowers) and I think....
"That money could have gone toward housing for the homeless or other services".
And the Christmas lights on the big trees at holiday time (all the money to pay the hydro) and on and on.....
I just feel sick, after seeing her, like that. I can hardly describe the feelings that picture generates, even now. It's seared into my mind. It's so hopeless. And I believe wholeheartedly that not many things are but it sure seems like her predicament is. I wish there were a way to change that. Prayer is all I know right now. Please pray for her.
Sela
