Anything

[Sela]

Thankyou too RM and Hops for your generous words.  Too kind.

Glad to hear you're finding balance Hops.  That is so nice to hear!

RM, it's too hot and humid right now for socks anyhow! ( )

  Sela

[Bones]

If we can talk about anything in this thread, how about seeing reminders on television that we are not alone when dealing with Nparents who attempt to put us in double binds?  I just saw a two-parter of "Divorce Court" with an 18-year-old husband, 17-year-old wife and a mother-in-law from HE-double-hockey-sticks!  The bride's mother signed the papers so she could get married and after the ceremony, gave her daughter the ultimatum that if she chooses her husband over her mommy, then mommy will disown her because daughter is not allowed to leave mommy!  Judge Mablean tried to explain the obvious to the bride's mother and the mother stormed out of the courtroom because she didn't like what the judge had to say.  Fortunately, for the young couple, Judge Mablean was able to talk them into calling off the divorce and find resources to enable them to get away from the Nmother.

Bones

[reallyME]

Hi Bones (what does your name mean, just out of curiosity if you choose to tell me)...

I LOVE JUDGE MABLEAN!  AWESOME LADY, GODLY AND WISE!  Glad she did things how she did with that married couple.

[Certain Hope]

Hi Bones,

   I don't watch much tv, but when I do, the Court channel is one I enjoy... will keep my eyes open 

Have a great day, Bones 

Hope

[Sela]

Hi Bones:

I haven't said hello and welcome to you yet and so I'm doing that now.

Hello and welcome!! 

Yep.  Talk about anything here on this thread.  That's the idea, anyway. 

May I ask what you mean by "double binds"?  I think I get what you're saying but I want to be sure.

I've seen programs on tv that remind me I'm not alone, I'm not crazy, and that others have experienced similar stuff as me.  Even though tv is not "real", I think it tries to comment on the real and the ideal.  I don't watch much tv, so I'm no expert, that's for sure.

Glad you posted Bones!

  Sela

[Bones]

Hi Bones (what does your name mean, just out of curiosity if you choose to tell me)...

I LOVE JUDGE MABLEAN!  AWESOME LADY, GODLY AND WISE!  Glad she did things how she did with that married couple.

Hi RM and thanks!

BTW, my nickname is based on Star Trek.

Bones

[Bones]

Hi Bones,

   I don't watch much tv, but when I do, the Court channel is one I enjoy... will keep my eyes open 

Have a great day, Bones 

Hope

Thanks, Hope!

Since I don't have cable, I can't watch the Court Channel.  Judge Mablean's show is on the Fox network.

Bones

[Bones]

Hi Bones:

I haven't said hello and welcome to you yet and so I'm doing that now.

Hello and welcome!! 

Yep.  Talk about anything here on this thread.  That's the idea, anyway. 

May I ask what you mean by "double binds"?  I think I get what you're saying but I want to be sure.

I've seen programs on tv that remind me I'm not alone, I'm not crazy, and that others have experienced similar stuff as me.  Even though tv is not "real", I think it tries to comment on the real and the ideal.  I don't watch much tv, so I'm no expert, that's for sure.

Glad you posted Bones!

  Sela

Thanks, Sela!

I'll try to explain the concept of "double binds" by using an example from one of my textbooks.  The author, who is a psychiatrist, was describing a situation that he encountered during his residency.  He was treating a patient for schizophrenia and he had the opportunity to observe this patient during a visit by the patient's mother.  The patient hugged his mother and the mother visibly stiffened.  When the patient ended the hug, because his mother stiffened up on him, she commented to the patient:  "What's the matter with you?!?  Don't you love your mother?!?!?"  He tried to hug her again, only to be pushed away.  This "push me-pull you", "come closer-go away" game was played constantly by this mother during the visit until the patient finally became so frustrated with these mixed messages that he started acting out and the visit was abruptly ended.  No matter what he tried to do or say, his mother constantly reminded him that he was wrong.  It was "damned if he did and damned if he didn't" and he couldn't win.

Does that help?

Bones

[Sela]

Hi Bones:

I see what you mean.  That helped.   Thanks.

Do you want to talk some more about it?

Sela

[Bones]

Hi Bones:

I see what you mean.  That helped.   Thanks.

Do you want to talk some more about it?

Sela

Sure.  Do you have more questions?

Bones

[Sela]

Hi Bones:

Nope.  I don't have any more questions right now.  I guess I just thought you might want to talk some more about this.  What gave me that idea was reading what you wrote:

If we can talk about anything in this thread, how about seeing reminders on television that we are not alone when dealing with Nparents who attempt to put us in double binds?

I was wondering if you were feeling like talking about this but not sure if anyone else would want to or if it's really ok to talk about anything here.  Maybe I misunderstood?   I'm interested in letting you know that you are welcome to talk about it, if you want to...in this thread.  There's no set topic here and also, that I am interested.

  Sela

[Sela]

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person
that wasn't suppose to ever let you down probably will.
 
You will have your heart broken
probably more than once and it's harder every time.
 
You'll break hearts too,
so remember how it felt when yours was broken.
 
You'll fight with your best friend.
 
You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.
 
You'll cry because time is passing too fast,
and you'll eventually lose someone you love.
 
So take too many pictures, laugh too much,
and love like you've never been hurt
because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a
minute of happiness you'll never get back.

Don't be afraid that your life will end,
 be afraid that it will never begin.

~anonymous~

[portia guest]

Cool Sela so one post and I'm gone!

So Bones, what's your prognosis?

Seriously, is that double-bind example from an RD Laing book? Self and others maybe, the one with the conversation between schizophrenics in it? What else do you read....?

Portia/Uhuru has left the flight deck

Gotta get me some of those 5" hoop earings.....

[Bones]

Cool Sela so one post and I'm gone!

So Bones, what's your prognosis?

Seriously, is that double-bind example from an RD Laing book? Self and others maybe, the one with the conversation between schizophrenics in it? What else do you read....?

Portia/Uhuru has left the flight deck

Gotta get me some of those 5" hoop earings.....

Hi, Portia!

The double-bind example I gave is from one of my graduate school textbooks.  I have to dig through them all to see which book it's from.

Bones

[Bones]

Hi Bones:

Nope.  I don't have any more questions right now.  I guess I just thought you might want to talk some more about this.  What gave me that idea was reading what you wrote:

If we can talk about anything in this thread, how about seeing reminders on television that we are not alone when dealing with Nparents who attempt to put us in double binds?

I was wondering if you were feeling like talking about this but not sure if anyone else would want to or if it's really ok to talk about anything here.  Maybe I misunderstood?   I'm interested in letting you know that you are welcome to talk about it, if you want to...in this thread.  There's no set topic here and also, that I am interested.

  Sela

Thanks, Sela.

For now, I'm taking a "wait-and-see" position until I feel safe enough to talk.

Bones