Anything

[isittoolate]

The worst kind of betrayal is the kind that gives up on curing a fault of character in a young child, no matter how serious the fault might be. It's easy to direct the tendencies of a child, but it's almost impossible to change the character of an adult once it's set.

[Sela]

Hiya Hops, CH and FP,

Glad you liked those Doggie Diary Entries.  They made me giggle.  I love the net for finding stuff to smile about.


Izzy, betrayal sure hurts.  I wish there were no such thing.  ((((((Iz))))))





Well, if anyone needs a laugh, here's another one I hate to keep to myself: 


George Carlin strikes again

Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea ... does that mean that one enjoys it?

There are three religious truths:

1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in ... what happens to the other penny?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

"I am." is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do." is the longest sentence?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then it dawned on me ... they're cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

No one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning.

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?



   Sela

[Certain Hope]

Need to have sound on for this one...  http://joe-ks.com/archives_may2005/Elastic_Baby.htm

and if you have pups/pets... watch their reaction to the sound. Our dogs don't know what to think!

[changing]

Wow! My puppy came running and his head is twisting from side to side! Hilarious!

Thank you Certain Hope!

Love,

changing

[Sela]

Hey all!!

Oh Carolyn, that one got both me and the dog giggling!  (my one dog....adores children and she really did look like she was smiling and ready to burst out laughing!!).  Infectious!!!  Wonderful!!

Well, I was away up north at our cabin this past week end and the colours are just glorious!!  There are some trees I could have stopped and looked at for hours but time constraints would not allow for that.  I never seem to lose my awe of the amazing metamorphosis that erupts in fall.  Next week will be Thanksgiving here and we are planning to go back and take mil with us (she is recovering quite well, I am happy to report!).  I hope it doesn't get too windy this week and blow a lot of the leaves down.  I hope it will last so Mil can enjoy it too!  We both love watching how the light hits different trees at different times of the day and how the shades look.  It's like an incredible multicoloured blanket has been wrapped around our world, at this time of the year, and I think we both just love it!!  It's a great feeling!


So is it also when someone sends me hugs and a smile, like you did the other evening, Finding Peace.  Thankyou.  Sorry I didn't get a chance to say so until now. (picturing a mad hamster in my head.....yep!  he might leap and fly like the pic you posted!  too cute/funny).

And thanks for not putting me in the compost heap, Ami.  You had said you just want to heal your false beliefs and go on.  That's tricky eh?  I guess the only way I know of (and there may be plenty of others??)...to change a personal belief is to examine it against itself......really look at it.....ask why we believe it....ask what would happen if we were to give it up......consider substitute beliefs and the pros/cons of them....stuff like that.    I hope you will shake off the shame your M placed on you and put on a clean coat!  Your actions prove you deserve it eh?

Thanks, also, OC for the hugs and I appreciate your feeling (sad) on my account.  Just knowing that people like you care and bother to say so, is validating and almost.....relieving.

And thankyou Bella for your love and hugs and high esteem holding of me and all!  That almost makes me feel like....

St. Sela 

What a joke!  Time for another:


The Rabbit is Dead

A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it but unfortunately, the rabbit jumps right in front of the car. The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit is dead. The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.

A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees the man crying on the side of the road and pulls over. She steps out of the car and asks the man what's wrong. "I feel terrible," he explains. "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it."

The blonde says, "Don't worry." She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can. She walks over to the limp, dead rabbit, bends down and sprays the contents onto the rabbit. The rabbit jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road. Ten feet away the rabbit stops, turns around and waves again. He hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves and repeats this again and again and again until he hops out of sight.

The man is astonished. He runs over to the woman and demands, "What is in that can? What did you spray on that rabbit?"

The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label. It says ...

It says, "Hair Spray - Restores life to dead hair, adds permanent wave."


  Sela

[Certain Hope]

Hehe...
Dear Changing and Dear Sela...
Snack break here (actually a very late breakfast)... just finished cleaning our closet and bagging a ton of ancient stuff which will never see the light of day around here again. Yay! Off to the "Christian thrift shop" soon with my donation.

I am so glad you enjoyed the elastic baby !! The very first time I tried it, our entire household - people and critters - came running down to my little office-porch to investigate. The pups are my favorite, though... the way they show keen interest with that head turn & tilt.
Sela... years ago, I had a yellow lab who loved babies and small children, and I swore she was smiling as she'd listen to them laugh and play... so sweet!

Your trip to the land of color sounds so lovely... you've really painted an awesome image of it here. Our temps are still feeling summery down here, but our "burning bush" along with much of the undergrowth in the area... all are showing an awareness of autumn. Hopefully we'll continue to get enough rain so that the leaves don't just dry and fall.
And I do hope that your mil gets to see that grand display, that her healing continues (I will have to read back to see what was wrong there), and that y'all have a blessed Thanksgiving holiday. I begin making pumpkin pies (everyone's favorite here) well in advance of the day here in the US, but I guess it's okay to follow a Canadian schedule in that regard.

It's good to read you Sela... and thanks for sharing your news!

Changing, I hope that all is well... I'll go look for some recent word from you, while finishing my muffin 'n cheese.

With love,
Carolyn

[Ami]

Thanks Sela for the supportive words. That hit my "sore" heart at the right moment.I have a joke to add:
   Some woman in a retirement home decided that they wanted to "streak"(run naked) through the facility. A group of old men witnessed the sight. One  said to the other,"WHAT was that?". The other one said,"I don't KNOW,but it sure needs ironing.'

[Sela]

Hi Carolyn,

Sorry about that.  I should have given an update there (for anyone who may have missed that post, awhile back).  My mil had a stroke at the end of May and was paralyzed on her left side for awhile.  Gradually, she is gaining back use of that side of her body.  She is now up walking with a walker and gaining more and more independance and will soon be released from hospital.  She'll be staying with us for awhile, so she doesn't have to go it all alone, so she can gain back her confidence and until she decides what to do about her house (which is 2 story, no bath on the main floor, laundry in the basement).

She and I have always gotten along well (I often refer to her as my mil-from-heaven as she has been such a wonderful support to me).  This is hopefully a chance to enjoy some time together and help her get back on her own again.

Oh.....Carolyn, if you get a chance......I have a few closets here that would just love to meet you. 
(ofcourse I will have to explain to them that they will have to do with out you as you are busy where you are and I'm sure ...not in the mood to be rushing over here to relieve them!!  Oh but they need relief!!).

I still haven't got my pies done!!  Thanks for the reminder!!



Ami, glad  always to help heal a sore heart.  May it heal up completely and quickly so you can enjoy every here and now and make new memories to look back on and may the scars fade quickly.

Hahahaha!  Ironing!!  I need it already!!

I always used to say that I hope to be completely bonkers and be one of those little old ladies that runs around the nursing home naked, swearing loudly........if I must go there some day.     I may have to rethink that plan.

Sela

[Ami]

[qHahahaha!  Ironing!!  I need it already!







I KNOW ( ME  -TOO)

[Certain Hope]

Oh, Sela.. thanks for the rest of the story re: your mil. She sounds like a lovely woman... and she's very blessed to have y'all to care for her till she can return to her own home. I've had mil's from various places... ahem... but the one I have now (and from this day forward!!) is very much a pleasure to call "friend". A blessing indeed!

It is such a relief to finally rid my home of some remaining ancient holdovers. That closet's been something I've tackled in stages, each time pitching more of the hand-me-downs with which family has entrusted/saddled me over the years. All my life, I was custodian of so much stuff that didn't even suit me... simply because I didn't have a "that's not me" in me... or know how to say "no". This time, I got the last of it out of my way and there will be no more. At last, I can recognize a self of my own and know with confidence that I will never, ever, ever use that rubbish in my life.
And of course! T'would be my pleasure to sort your closets, but you'd have to move them just a bit further south, cuz I don't do Canadian winters... lol. Grew up across the bridge from Windsor and saw enough autumn snows to last a lifetime, tyvm.  Our forecast for today is for 88F.

Hugs to you, Sela... OH! Forgot to say yesterday, I like that blond with the hair spray joke very much 

With love,
Carolyn

[isittoolate]

I'm the bookkeeper and John is the Treasurer and he gets a bit nervous around me, about 78 I think, 10 years older,,,...lol can you picture it?

He came today because of my broken leg and bad eye and I was sort of messily dressed--comfort, and I said Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ^Yugh I feel like my mother. I look like my mother

and he said

Haha

"Don't insult your mother that way!" 
I wonder if he realized what he said. For him it would have been, 'Now don't get down on yourself!"
tee
    hee
          hee
               on old age!

Izzy

[Sela]

Glad you got a laugh Ami!  Laughing is good stuff eh?

Carolyn, 88 degrees?  Whew!  I'm sweating thinking about it.  It's minus 10 here! Hoho!  Everything's icy.

Hey Izzy, maybe the guy was just ..........rude?  Or maybe he was trying to get your goat?  Who knows eh?

Hi everyone!

Hope everyone is healing well and feeling content.  I was quite shocked to hear that I will be meeting with one of my abusers (who I will here on in call X) next week (due to a legal battle we are both involved in) and to be clear......

I'm scared ________less!  I don't want to go.  I don't want to see X and I don't want to have to pretend all is well (which is what our lawyer has requested and I agreed......but now I wonder?  Did X also agree and will X be polite and cooperative?  Or will X be barely tolerable and sneak in jabs whenever the chance happens?).

Fear.

All these fears rising up and taking hold of my head.  Will X be waiting for me in the parking lot?  Will X use the opportunity to cause more upset or play at reconcilliation?  (Either of which idea causes my stomach to churn).

Will X act superior and as if in charge and attempt to belittle me on the sly, very quietly and sweetly (as has usually been the case in the past)?

I don't deal well with that!  I'm basically a straight forward genuine person who does not operate that way.   I'm afraid of my own reactions.  My own anger might errupt and then X can say I ruined everything and the lawyer will think I'm a dope and our chances of winning the case will be greatly reduced.

I wish I didn't have to go.  And so close to Christmas.  I don't need the extra worry/aggrivation right now.

Well, it feels good to admit how scared I am.  And I try not to let fear rule or make decisions based on fear so I ammmmmmm going to go and I willllllllllllll survive.  I might even say the right things.

Please pray for me that I say the right things and not react to whatever tactics X tries on me.  And if you don't pray then maybe send along some real positive energy or anything you think might help.  It will be much appreciated on my end.

I hate feeling afraid.  I remember from way back when I thought I was going to see X at a social event and all the advice people here gave me, which really did help.  I'm gonna go look for that thread and re-read it.

I just wish I didn't have to go.  Figgers.  Just when I have finally been feeling free of X in my head......hardly thinking about X at all.  Now my head is full of X again.  I'll be glad when it's over.

Sela

[seasons]

Hi Sela,
I'm sorry to hear of your mil stroke. She sounds lovely just like you.

She and I have always gotten along well (I often refer to her as my mil-from-heaven as she has been such a wonderful support to me).  This is hopefully a chance to enjoy some time together and help her get back on her own again.

Sela, that makes me so happy for you.

I hate feeling afraid.  I remember from way back when I thought I was going to see X at a social event and all the advice people here gave me, which really did help.  I'm gonna go look for that thread and re-read it.

Yes gather all the support you need. You can do it, we are here for you. I'm praying for your fear to be replaced with support, comfort and love.
Will someone be with you, if not we all will be with you in spirit for our kind, sweet((( Sela.)))
seasons

[Sela]

Oh thankyou Seasons!

I feel guilty because I hardly have time to even read the board any more but I wouldn't trade the time with my mil for anything.  She is feeling so much better, being out of hospital and getting stronger every day and I will miss her, I'm  sure, when she finally gets to move into her own place, even though I know it will be a wonderful thing for her.....to feel "normal" again.

I'm searching for that old thread but so far haven't found it.  Thankyou so much for prayers and kind words (((((((((Seasons))))))))) and the hug too.

Sela

on edit:  Forgot to answer  your question, sorry.  Yes, I will be going alone and that's another fear I'm nursing.....who will X  bring?

[Hopalong]

Sela, so good to hear you.

Can you tell your lawyer, straight up, that the idea of seeing X creates panic, and you'd really like him to have someone meet you at your car? Or, if it's affordable, take a cab so there's no parking lot to contend with?

You CAN take someone, can't you? Even a friend? If not, make SURE your lawyer knows that you need his emotional as well as legal support in order to keep it together.

Otherwise, I'd suggest you avoid eye contact and do not feel obligated to respond to sallies from him.

Remember Beth's Awkward Pause. You can just not speak unless you choose to, or you can do ALL of your speaking through your lawyer. (Tell your lawyer in advance if this is what you'd like to do. They are used to this request and it is not wrong or weak to make it.)

You are just fine, Sela. X is gone. X is in a parallel universe. So even if X is standing there, flapping his jaws, braying this or that, it's all happening in a parallel universe.

Not the one you LIVE and THRIVE in. (And he doesn't know how to get there.)

love
Hops