I want the old routine of coming home and seeing her and being together.
Why do you want this? It's obvious that she doesn't want this anymore. Find someone else to come home to after you've worked on yourself for a while.
This is going to sound really mean, but I have to stress that it's not meant to be. I'm just being honest with you here and sometimes that's what a person needs to jumpstart his life again. Here goes..
Maybe, just maybe she was starting to see how you fixate on something like this and don't stop. This may have sent up red flags to her and latching on to someone else as quickly and easily as she did was her ticket out of the relationship. It's really easy to tell someone when things are going great, how wonderful they are and that they're "the one". But eventually reality sets in and it's not really like that anymore. You weren't wrong, you just were blinded by love and feelings of being in the moment. It's actually exasperating to watch you go 'round and 'round with this same struggle day after day, month after month. If others are picking up on it on this board, she may have been noticing it pretty strongly by just living with you. This may have freaked her out. I had mentioned that you do have a "victim mentality" in a previous post. I can tell you as a female, that if I met you out somewhere or were in a relationship with you and this is what you thought of yourself, I'd be out the door pretty darn quick myself. Generally, people like to be with someone who is emotionally healthy. I think it's what we all look for in a relationship. And when there is even an inkling that something may be astray...a person will bail pretty quickly.
Bkkabri, you fixate and you obsess, and you yearn, and you you keep going backwards instead of forwards. You're wondering what you can do to make people happy or like you or love you or not lie to you. Right now. Who cares about them. Start working on yourself and quit being everyone's lackey. No one is going to be interested in treating you well unless you start treating yourself well. Confidence will be the first thing they notice.
I am writing this with concern for you, not animosity. I am a female, I have been dumped before, I have been in a successful marriage for 10 years. I know what emotional pain is like and I know what it's like to be a slave to a memory. Get over it. Life is too damn short and all the time you're wasting on this broad, you could be spending with someone who actually gives a crap about you.