one more question today

[lulling]

is it fair of me to catagorize mom as an n.  if she has never seen a doctor about it herself?  should i question my own judgment?  i have asked my boyfriend if he thought she fit into this catagory and he said yes...but am i being unfair?  i thought about presenting it to her...but of course she would say that i am crazy and "trying to blame everything on her" and "buying into psychobabble"
funny, her degree is child psychology, and all she did when  i was little was shrink my head.

[bunny as guest]

If you feel she is an N, and this template works in dealing with her, that's fair. You certainly don't have to tell her what you think. I would keep it private and use it to deal with her. A narcissist won't respond positively to this information and it's a waste of time. In fact it will make things even worse imo.

bunny

[Anonymous]

Bunny is correct.  N's could care less that they are N's.  One fact is almost always constant with N's:  whatever the situation is, it is at your emotional expense.

Questions to ask yourself:   is the N getting the total benefit of what you are doing?  Is there any mutuality involved with you mother?  Exactly what does she do to or say to make you question the vaildity of what is going on?  Does she project on to you things that are not true?  Do you say "yes" to requests when  you know you should set limits and say "no"?  These are questions to ask when dealing with N's.  This does not fall in the realm of "psychobabble".  These are actual things that are taking place in your relationship. Patz